How to Ruin a K-Pop Classic

Last week, YG finally let Black Pink out of the dungeon so that we could get new fap material from them, but in the process, ruined a classic Wonder Girls song.

THE RETURN

Sup bitches, Zaku here.

After a long, long hiatus time away to reflect on my misdeeds,  I am officially returning as a contributor to the AKF blog. It's been a while since I've last shitposted wrote here, so I want to thank all my fans for waiting patiently for my return.

Gonna hit the ground running so expect a couple more articles soon before the year ends~

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas this year!

Nayeon's Vibrator's Top Ten Songs of 2017

Source

It's already that time of the year, with 2017 coming to a close. Due to life's circumstances this past year, I didn't keep up with Kpop very well and probably missed some great songs here and there. This is my top 10 title tracks for the year that I got around to listening to. Just a warning, each blurb about the song is short because I hate writing MV reviews with a passion and mainly just want to share which songs I liked. With something as subjective as music, there's no point in justifying with an essay of why I like (or dislike) a song.

(Also Kpopalypse, you can suck my dick for "not waiting until December 31st"! I'll be on vacation in Washington D.C. for New Year's weekend.)

RIP Kim Jonghyun

As many of you have already learned today (or yesterday depending on your time zone), SHINee's Jonghyun passed away due to suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning.

RIP in peace Dal Shabet

A few days ago, Ah Young (D:), Subin and Serri's contracts with Happy Face Entertainment expired. Woohee is the only one left, as she joined the group a year later after that one member went one to do softcore porn (bless her).

Twice - Heart Shaker

Twice has proved with "Heart Shaker" that sometimes less is more. As in if they had released one less song this year, they could have rivaled Red Velvet with the quality of their releases.

Why You Should Never Date A Koreaboo

I made a huge gamble, and I lost big time. This is the story of why if you're an Asian male, you should never ever date a white female Koreaboo.

MAGA - Make AKF Great Again

Just about a year ago, I had closed AKF for good. At that point in my life, I was busy making many changes in my life, and wanted to get rid of anything from the past in order to move forward. I prematurely opened the blog back up earlier in the year, not ready to fully return. I have done a lot in the past year, and needed that time off in order to change my life for the better.

Red Velvet Peekaboo

2017 is definitely Red Velvet's year and they capped it off with their strongest title track this year.

A Pink - Orion

A Pink is back with another Japanese song. The girls seem to spend a lot of time over there lately. They must love being violated by tentacle monsters over there. Considering how much money they make over in Japan, I suppose taking some tentacle dicks in both of their pussies and assholes is just a small price to pay for all of the yen they are making. Now if only they would release a video of Hayoung getting double penetrated by a tentacle monster, then all would be good in this world.

To the “I’m Quitting Kpop” People

Over the years, I’ve had friends on Twitter and One Hallyu (and its predecessors) make long tweets and posts about how they were quitting Kpop.

“Kpop isn’t a lifestyle.” That is the first thing I think whenever someone writes something like they’re stopping Kpop. It is simply their fault that they let Kpop consume them. You don’t need to be up-to-date on every news story, participating on a few forums and the comments section of the translation sites. You don’t need to watch every variety show your favorite group(s) (member(s)) appear in.

Nayeon in a Short Skirt and a MS Paint Edit

Twice "One More Time" Teaser

This is the Twice comeback we have all been waiting for: the first one in which every member is legal!

Mina, please rub my balls. Preferably while my dick is in your mouth. That is all.

Kpopalypse Survey

@Seultoria Don't RT easy things pls, it's too tempting. pic.twitter.com/CTA5R16zku

— Blackactarus (@blackactarus) August 24, 2017

As you can see above, there's a picture of me with my master.

Also, you can take Kpopalypse's survey here!

Pristin - We Like

I have been following Kpop as close as I can and still take the time to check out new groups, and so far this year Pristin is my favorite rookie group. I had no hopes for them since they are under Pledis after all. Can you blame you? They left After School for dead and gave up on Hello Venus just after a year, resulting in Fantagio taking full control of the group. However, third time is definitely the charm, and I just hope Pledis gives the group continual support instead of fucking the girls over.

MBK Doesn't Want Me to Fap to Yebin

For DIA's latest comeback, MBK decided to turn Yebin into a fucking dyke. How am I supposed to fap when I just see Amber and Ellen DeGeneres instead of Yebin. Talk about trolling to the maximum effect. This is almost as bad as the time MBK put a snake in T-ara.

Anyway, sorry (not really) about the lack of posting this summer. I moved halfway across the country for a new job and I've just been busy acclimating to the new city and job.

Idols Don't Owe Fans Shit

AOA Choa is Best Choa.

With news coming out that Best Choa intends to withdraw from AOA, many fans are claiming that this is unfair...to them.

[MV Review] Black Pink - As If It's Your Last

Black Pink makes another great comeback and makes it easier and easier to forget about 2NE1.

Nayeon Taking on a Monster Cock

Admit it, this is the main reason you're happy that I am back.

And someone should tell the poor dude that the cock ring is supposed to go near the base, not the head!

Lovelyz Jisoo is out of this World

pic.twitter.com/1WgnrqCcIW

— Blackactarus (@blackactarus) May 7, 2017

If you wouldn't let her stick a buttplug up your butt, then you're a bigoted homophobe!

Be Happy for Jiyeon

The biggest news this week, aside from all of the teasers about Twice's comeback, is that Lee Dong Gun and Jo Yun Hee are already married and she's pregnant. This is the same dude who publicly broke up with Jiyeon just a couple of months ago.

Nayeon TT

170501 TWICE TV SPECIAL EP.05 #나연 #NAYEONhttps://t.co/I7obKO0cIh pic.twitter.com/Q1GdZBwVPt

— 922 (@codename922) May 1, 2017

More TT than I'm currently seeing at the moment.

IU - Palette featuring G-Dragon

IU and G-Dragon was a combination I thought I'd never see, but with IU hanging out with troublemakers such as Sulli and Jiyeon and getting the older D (younger girls, please continue to date us ahjussis), she "ruined" her reputation is now smeared with salty netizen tears along with G-Dragon's. They probably met up and smoked some weed cigarettes together and decided to make a song together.

Start of a New Era

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