Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Little Psy, big pimpin'

Today, I made a terrible decision. I watched the Little Psy music video (Oh, you were unaware that was a thing? Well aren't you a lucky fuck.).

But seriously, that kid from "Gangnam Style" made a video. I feel ashamed to say I watched it out of sheer curiosity/hatred for myself. By the 1:15 mark, I desperately wanted to turn it off but told myself not to, so I could more accurately write this post. The sacrifices I make for you people ...

I feel like a bad person for even bringing attention to this.
That's what they want to happen.

This probably is the worst thing I've seen in kpop.

There are so many things wrong with this ... I don't really want to call it a music video anymore ... I'm having a tough time picking a place to begin.

To make things easier, I'm just going to start listing shit:

1) The kid known for nothing else than dancing for a few seconds in "Gangnam Style" is singing.
2) Singing isn't an accurate description for this sound, though ...
3) The thing takes place at a club.
4) The lyrics are inappropriate.
5) Much of the dance is too.
6) Song includes unnecessary rap (For fuck's sake, even this needed a rap? Is there no mercy in this world?).
7) Unnecessary rapper is so bad that at the end, the volume of her (or his? don't know, don't care) voice is so low, Little Psy's screeching completely drowns her/him out.
8) I counted six references to "Gangnam Style." That number might be off, but ain't no way I'm watching the video again to verify.

Basically, this video is everything that's wrong with the world and the kpop industry in particular.

To make things clear: That's not the kid's fault. If I was 8 and someone offered to let me make a music video, I'd surely have done so (though mine probably would have been country so I could have worn my pink cowgirl hat). But see, that's the problem: 8-year-olds should not be making decisions, because they are too young. They're also too young to be starring in music videos.

The problem lies with parents who sell their children out like this and with music execs who think this is a good idea, or at the very least, a profitable idea. And with me, for bringing more attention to it.

For my part in this, I am sorry, but I had to point out the utter ridiculousness of the situation and the shittiness of the song. Going into this, my expectations were Earth's-core-level low, and I was still surprised at how bad it was. This song made "MAXSTEP" and J.J. Project's "Bounce" sound good.

Fuckin' poetry in comparison

To sum things up: What remained of my faith in humanity has gone. Left behind are a deep sadness and a loud ringing in my ears.


  1. How the fuck did you make it to 1:15? I got to 0:44 and paused the video to cry.

  2. but i like jj project's bounce. . . . .

  3. If people are screaming and running away, would you run with them or press play on Show+Time?

  4. four minutes of my life i can never get back

  5. Oh my god it's so un-fucking-believably bad

  6. I can't be the only one who caught some Mr. Simple in that dance. Well, unless anyone was smart enough to not watch the whole damn thing.

  7. he gets hot girls

  8. I'll take everyone's word for it and not watch this piece of shit.

  9. Having a child dance in a club, having him acting like a pimp and all, why is this not banned? This really reminds me of how fucked up korean banishment government or whatever.

    Moreover, putting the company name in this video takes big balls

  10. Somehow I got goosebumps while watching the video.

  11. fast-forward 5 years and that kid is going to have the teenage rebellion from hell, once he works out how adults exploited him

  12. I couldn't watch it to the end either. He is a dancer. He needs to remain only dancing b/c he's great at it. As I watched the video for the first time ever last night I thought to myself, "God he's gonna be embarrassed by this when he gets older".