Thursday, May 19, 2016

Kpop seduction appears to be accelerating

In 2003 Lee Hyori wrote a song about seducing a man while his girlfriend had walked off. She claimed that her powers allowed her to do it in just 10 minutes, stealing his heart away just like that. Now, it is unknown just what kind of things she did to make this happen so quickly, perhaps by giving him a handy, but she did include a strange lyric about those 10 minutes becoming like a year. It would seem that time manipulation magic was involved, and as we will see, there is evidence that this magic has been wielded and is now flying out of control. Hyori would not remain the top sexy icon in kpop, and later Hyuna came onto the scene, Hyori speaking well of her. Could she have passed on the dark arts?

In 2009 4 Minute debuted. They made it clear that they named their group after the goal of winning you over in 4 minutes. Surely a new standard, but they did say it was only a goal. However, in 2011 they came out with the album 4 Minutes Left, and they made it clear that they had a handle on their sorcery. Aside from the intro track to the album which makes it pretty clear, the "4 Minutes Left" mantra continues at the start of the song Mirror Mirror. In it they express some frustration that they aren't being looked at, being certain that once your eyes fall upon them you'll be enraptured. The fact they use an analogy from a witch queen in a fairytale makes it clear we're dealing with time magic.

In 2015 NC.A wrote a song called Cinderella Time where she wants to be with her boyfriend longer before curfew hits. She includes some strange lyrics that make reference to the passing of time being strange and wanting it to stop. Of course, being a nugu who looks 5 years younger than she is, she is not strong in seduction time magic. It comes to her awareness, but it is senseless to her and ultimately she lacks any command over it and resorts to despairing. Red Velvet also wrote a song about time acceleration, but they were just using it alone in bed to discard reality. Perhaps then these powers are related to any desire, not just seduction? Do they have to do with localized dimensional shifts?

AOA have proven themselves masters of seduction, and in their most recent album they made some astonishing claims. They have a song that says they actually only need 10 seconds to take you. Holy shit! How could this be possible? I feel like my theory about pockets or bubbles of time shift may be correct. In this song they mention needing physical contact, whereas 4 Minute mentioned looking at them. AOA also says they'll just take 10 seconds so that no one will notice. I think this means that while 4 Minute tries to take control of the room, AOA only takes their target, allowing their work to be more concentrated. While this disappearance would be suspicious, they figure if they only disappear for 10 seconds people will just figure they moved to a different part of the room for a moment.

Truly fascinating. On the surface it would appear that things are rapidly accelerating, but it may be that techniques are becoming more refined. However, when dealing with magic one can never be too sure. Keep an eye out for more time seduction songs for further revelations of power and its application. Perhaps someday we will see a seduction with nothing more than the wink of an eye.

9 comments:

  1. I don't know a damn thing about physics, but AOA look great in this perf of "10 Seconds". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU7Q0L9sWIQ

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    1. Hmm, looking at the choreo they are clearly drawing from the power of what the old AKF religion calls the "magic of the hidden eye" which is the dark under side of the magic of the revealed eye of Our Lady Cyclops. It's a mysterious paradox of both duality and unison of power. Perhaps this is what Mirror Mirror is referencing. I'd probably enter eternity if Yuna touched my donger with that magic. If this is their strategy then 10 seconds seems like child's play.

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  2. oh god put a picture of something

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  3. If only I could upboat this shit. Upboats to you sir. *tips fedora*

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  4. What have you been reading/playing/watching/smoking?

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    1. You probably find this strange because you're not used to religion. Maybe because you found that other religions are bullshit. That's okay. It's really quite simple, you see. Our Lady Cyclops Jiyeon is the one true eye who giveth light and sexy charms to all idols. She has revealed herself in body now, but she has always been. For lo, although her eye was hidden, she gaveth her sexy charms to women to make all boners visible, so unto her all faps have come for ages past. Now more recently she did not see fit to limit the revelation to the idol world, so she hath given us her avatar Han Ye Seul to the professional acting world, that we may know it is her shrouded eye that still giveth sexy charms to others even though her revealed eye remains incarnate on earth. Yeseulology likes to celebrate (fap to) these gifts in the acting world, while the old religion remains focused on revelations in kpop. But do not be confused and think this means she has two eyes, for they are one. It is the great mystery, but understood by observing her in bodily form while also seeing sexy charms in others. This is why T-ara has gone out unto the lands of China, to continue spreading direct revelation of her mysterious glory in all the earth.

      As you can see, it all makes perfect sense, and she brings joy to the earth. She asks nothing of you, but her one eye will always giveth sexy charms if you need them to overcome the hatred stirred by fangirls.

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  5. Stay away from my dick, you witches!
    You won't rob me of my virgin wizard powers!

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  6. Great piece. Sexy, intelligent writing. Hadam of Bambino gets my pulse in her hand w/one walk to the side of the stage and a booty shake. She's the best now w/the real magic

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