Stage presence - what it is, what it isn't, and why your bias doesn't have any

I dropped a comment a while back stating that CL was the only female k-pop idol who displayed anything resembling stage presence.  This horrified nearly everyone - fans of 2NE1 were concerned that this praise for CL was uncharacteristic of my normal online behaviour and perhaps indicative of massive hard drug use or mental breakdown, whereas everyone else was like "b-b-b-but, what about MY bias?  I think they're great!  Doesn't [insert bias here] have stage presence?"

Oh the wailing and gnashing of teeth when you tell a k-pop fan that their bias doesn't have stage presence.... but they really don't.  This post will explain why they don't have it, and also why you shouldn't care.