Monday, December 30, 2013

My life as a soshi manager

In our ongoing effort to bring you all the latest and greatest SNSD news I recently accepted a job as their new manager. How will I fare? How many panties will I sniff? Let's find out...

My first day on the job was today. I met up with Tiffany at the girls' dorms:

Tiffany greeted me with her "infectious" charm. She seems really nice and easy going. After some chit chat, Yuri came by and introduced herself. Together we went to SM Academy.

I couldn't believe that I was standing in front of the very building that world famous Girls Generation and others practice every day in. It finally started to hit me just what I had gotten myself into.

Inside, I met with the receptionist who told me she would help me get situated and that if I ever needed help with anything, she would lend a hand. She seemed really nice and I'm sure I'll get to know her very well over time.

I spent some time wandering around the building trying to get my bearings and the layout of where everything is. One of the perks of being the SNSD manager is you can go wherever you want. Adjoining one of the practice rooms I found a changing room where Yoona had just changed out of her workout clothes. Thankfully she didn't freak out seeing me in there. We greeted each other and she explained that one of my duties as manager is to ensure the girls get the proper nutrients. It seems like a daunting task keeping track of all nine diets and who can eat what, but that's what I'm getting paid for I guess.

My first task as Girls Generation manager was to find Jessica's water bottle. It could be anywhere! While I was scouring the Academy from top to bottom I met with none other than Leeteuk who told me she has a habit of leaving it in the work out room. Sure enough she had left it by the treadmill.

Jessica made sure to remind me that everyone is intensely preparing for the upcoming promotion and that I would be expected to make sure everything goes off without a hitch. After a day full of introductions and exploring SM Academy I was exhausted. I made my way back to my office before returning to my apartment. If this is the worst I'll have to deal with this will be pretty easy job, I thought. Little did I know what was in store me...

First thing next day I had a meeting with Mr. Kim Jonghun who filled me in with more details about the upcoming promotion. Mostly I already knew everything that needed to be done since this was the fifth time in the last twelve hours I had been reminded about the importance of the event. He then told me I was to take the group directly to the stadium following the meeting as well as directions on how to get there. I told him I had a GPS system and I was sure I could find it but he insisted on doing it the old fashioned way.

After arriving safely at the stadium and checking in I thought I would have a moment to catch my breath but it wasn't to be. I thought the girls would be working on the finishing touches for the show but as usual all Yuri could think about was eating. I had to decide on what the girls would eat, remembering the meal couldn't exceed 400 calories...

Yuri wanted bibimbap, while Jessica suggested bulgogi but I insisted on kimbap. It may not be as tasty as the their suggestions but it's filling and well within their calorie budget.

With that out the way the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I returned to my apartment and had a drink trying to prepare myself for tomorrow.

To be continued...


  1. Why do I get a feeling this Choose Your Own Adventure will end badly??

  2. I can't wait for the other parts that you told me about.

  3. Is this like a game for a Nintendo DSI or something?

    1. Visual novels/dating sims aren't games, they are sorry excuses for people that can't code actual games.

      This, however, seems interesting.

    2. Yeah it's basically a parody of a dating sim, aka a Japanese animu dating game where you date fictional girls and or boys depending on your sexuality and or tastes. Dating sims meant for males are usually much more rife with sexual content than dating sims meant for females because the Japanese all want their girls to remain innocent or some other pointless bullshit. I know these things because I'm an animu fan and forever alone loser who has fictional husbandos go figure.

  4. We're getting the bad ending, aren't we.

  5. I don't know where this is going but with an intro as innocuous as that it's clearly building up to somewhere good.

  6. Where's the closet Soomin fucks the SNSD members in?

  7. Why do I sense a scandal in the future involving a perverted manager and peep holes drilled in dressing rooms?

  8. I feel like something scandalous is going to happen next, involving Jessica's water bottle.

  9. do whatever you wanrt but dont you dare touch my fany fany tipaniiiii

  10. KIM JONGHUN tho
    Really looking forward to this