Tuesday, June 3, 2014

A Hypothetical Scenario in which Exo Fandom causes the collapse of Civilization/ The World


This post is not meant to scare you, rather to serve as a warning. 




In the year of our Lord, June 3rd, 2014 at approximately 1:46 PM  a new virus was spawned in Korea. Patient zero was a young teenage girl of about 14 years. It is not known exactly how the virus was contracted but medical researchers believe the toxicity of Exo fan boards may have been involved. That, combined with lack of sleep and proper nourishment which most Exo fans suffer from as a result of constant Twitter usage to ensure something Exo-related is always trending on Twitter everyday made patient zero and others like her the perfect hiding place for this silent killer. 


Several months have passed and although on the outside everything looks normal, in the bodies of thousands of Koreans a catastrophe of biblical proportions is brewing. Virtually every person in Korea between the ages of 10-18 has taken to the internet to rig online polls, post Exo fanfic, and tweet inane pictures of Xiumin. Productivity is beginning to decline. 


It is not soon after this that Exo Fandom first spreads outside of Korea. Unsurprisingly China is the first country to be infected. While there have always been Exo fans in China, with the spread of this disease most of the fans begin showing a one-thousand percent increase in insufferability. 


Several more months have passed and as we can see in this map Korea has been all but engulfed in Exo Fandom. Surprisingly, even North Korea has succumbed to the plague. Researchers believe this is a result of 'Overdose' being smuggled through the country into China and beyond. 


A year has now passed and Exo Fandom has truly become a global pandemic, reaching across China and into Central Asia and beyond. The Korean government has fallen and China has succumbed to anarchy. 


Researchers are astonished that Exo Fandom is able to spread so quickly. In fact, it is due to the globalized world we live in. Here we see a barge full of 'Overdose' albums on its way to infect another vulnerable country. 


Several more years have passed and by this point most countries in the world have been infected by Exo Fandom. World productivity is almost at a standstill. The warnings however are ignored and little is done in the way to discover a cure. Most governments in the world do not believe the disease is as dangerous as it truly is. Many believe it is simply a fad similar to 'Gangnam Style' and that it will soon pass. They are wrong. 


Another year later and we see that aside from Canada and parts of Africa the entire world is infected with Exo Fandom. It is important to note that no one has died as a direct result of the disease...


Until now. On March 11th, 2016, 647 days after its initial discovery, an Exo message board user was found dead in his house by his parents, also Exo fans. They had not noticed their son was dead for sometime because they were arguing with "Haters" on Twitter. 


Only two years later on November 13th, 2018 the last healthy person in the world succumbs to Exo Fandom. By now, nearly 25 million people have died from the disease.


With the death toll nearing 400 million scenes like this one are commonplace across the globe. Buildings have begun to crumble due to no maintenance. Research for a cure is virtually non existent as medical researchers instead begin working on a way to clone Kris as a way to get him back in the group. 


Finally, on May 18th, 2019 the human race has fully succumbed to Exo Fandom. 

Luckily, there is still time. While Exo Fandom is a real threat it has not yet reached pandemic levels. We can still fight back. Please, do your part to ensure this stays a work of fiction. It is up to you.

8 comments:

  1. There is one way: Japan is the Madagascar of media, they will SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madagascar only has a port !
      But that one is as tight to get into as a nun's asshole.

      Pandemic was fun for a while.

      Delete
    2. The joke is Japan's firewall

      Delete
  2. Wait, wat? Alaska's part of Canada? This whole time, I never knew. That really puts a damper on my Fourth of July barbecue.

    ReplyDelete
  3. In my game, my plague aka EXO Fans wiped out the planet.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Try the zombie extension. It will suit the scenario even more.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like Pandemic. I wish to play it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love Plague Inc I was playing it last week, pain in the ass getting Iceland and Greenland sometimes.

    ReplyDelete