Saturday, June 14, 2014

Chinese UCAAD Pretends Seohyun is His Wife while Begging for Money


Dude is a genius in one sense, but he shouldn't have used Seohyun as his dead wife.


Instead of condemning him, I thought of how to try to one-up the guy. I thought of three different ways to arouse sympathy from bystanders if I was in that dude's shoes.

Horrible Awesome MS Paint pictures incoming.


Here I start off with my Korean waifu, Han Ye Seul. The story: My wife died two years ago to cervical cancer. I could no longer have sex with my incredibly hot wife and I went into major depression. My son ended up dying because I was so depressed that I couldn't function at work. I ended up losing my job, and because I didn't qualify for any welfare assistance, my son starved to death. I had to eat his decaying body in order to live on. I know need funds to help combat the brain disease I contracted due to my cannibalism.


In my second attempt, my Japanese waifu Toda Erika represents my ex-wife. We enjoyed a blissful marriage and we were as happy as you could possibly be. While she was giving me an amazing blowjob, she stopped right before I was about to climax. I thought she was just teasing me, but then she pulled out a samurai sword and chopped off my penis. I lay in bed screaming in agonizing pain as she takes a huge dump on my face and then used her butt cheeks to smear her feces over my face. Now I need money for therapy and penis reattachment surgery.


In the final scenario, I am married to my Taiwanese waifu, Annie Chen. Here I tell the story of how I am a North Korean refugee that was helped by a Taiwanese goddess that helped me escape North Korea into China. Though our time together was short-lived, we were very happy together. However, one day the Chinese officials heard wind that North Korean refugees had entered the small village we were living in. Chinese military personnel barged into my house and my wife sacrificed herself for me, stating that she was the North Korean refugee. I witnessed the horror as the soldiers gunned down my wife and then gang banged her corpse. I need money for therapy and to escape to South Korea.

Which one is your favorite scenario and why?

18 comments:

  1. I'm going for Scenario #1: cannibalism brain disease

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    Replies
    1. Also, why are you only white in Scenario #2? And don't give me none of that "it's a dark background" bullshit. I know this was a deliberate political message.

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    2. I change color based on the background lol.

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  2. Can't tell whether this guy's a genius or a fucking idiot. Anyway, I like number 3 the best because it sounds like a plot for an extremely cheesy K-Pop Drama MV like MBLAQ's "This Is War" or MyName's "Baby I'm Sorry"

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  3. scenario #4

    my Nipponese waifu Kuroki Meisa died after bravely after sucking my balls dry despite her semen allergy. so brave. I have been forced to sell our children to SM Entertainment, and need your donations to help get them out of their contracts early so they can sign with a Chinese agency instead. pls donate now, every little helps

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  4. Clearly he got a Seobeot from SM.

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  5. Scenario #1...but I think you forgot to eat the corpse of your waifu

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  6. I like the fact that he's begging for food, yet had the time and money to make a crappy photoshopped sign.

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  7. I like scenario 2 because it's hilarious.

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  8. I seriously LOL'd at the pictures. Hahaha!

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  9. Scenario #3 because she sacrificed herself so you can live on and continue to write such profound articles. RIP ( ;_;)7

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  10. It's hilarious that the chinese guy just photoshopped his face and the same seohyun face in the picture above onto some googled wedding picture. That takes real balls

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  11. I hope this doesn't inspire other fangirls or fanboys...

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  12. Did Toda Erika hide the blade inside her vagina?

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  13. Scenario 1. There a millions of pics of asian women's faces on the net, why would you pick a famous one? Unless he didn't know who she is.

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