Tuesday, June 10, 2014

The official and completely scientific Kpopalypse colour blindness test

I'm colour blind.  Apparently, this is a completely fucking fascinating subject to absolutely everyone, judging by the amount of questions that I get asked about it when people find out.  To cater to this incredible fascination, this post will include some awesome colour blindness facts (so if I get any more annoying questions about it I can just link people to here instead of answering them directly over and over) and also a test so you can test your own colour blindness - with k-pop, of course!


A few quick colour blindness trufax first, for colour vision deficiency noobs:
  • Like pretty much everybody who has it, I was born colour blind.
  • Because I was born colour blind, I don't know what it's like to see colour the way a non colour blind person does.
  • I'm not completely colour blind, I'm supposedly "red/green" colour blind, also known as "deutan" or "deuteranomaly", which affects about 5% of the male population (women can be colour blind too but it's much rarer).  Because every other colour in the rainbow has portions of either red or green in it, this basically fucks me for the whole colour spectrum in one way or another.
  • Even though I'm colour blind, I still know what colours look like because when I was in school a teacher pointed to a red thing and said "this thing is red".  Bravo, education.  Because of this, I had no idea that I was colour blind.  I found out the truth when I went for my first job at age 18, and when the optometrist told me I initially thought she was a lying whorebag because her diagnosis took her all of about ten seconds.  "But... what do you mean?  I can see colour!" I exclaimed.  She was right though... that bitch.
  • Yes I can drive and see traffic lights just fine.  I'm not allowed to fly an aircraft though.
  • I spell it "colour", not "color", because I live in a country that doesn't butcher the English language... well, at least not the spelling aspects of it, anyway.
  • I'm aware that there are colour-corrective lenses out there but I've never tried them, only because I don't give enough of a fuck to spend money on some shit that isn't going to improve the quality of my life much.  Besides, I don't know what colour is supposed to look like, so how do I know if that shit is really working the way it's supposed to?
boramlos copy

So now that you've got all the facts, you may be wondering "could I also be colour blind?"  Well, to find out the truth you could go to an optometrist, or you take a completely authoritative and legit online test that certainly isn't designed to goad you into buying any products in particular, or instead you could take...



Question 1: 

Colour blind people are generally adept at perceiving big blocks of uniform colour, but perform poorly when lots of colours are mixed into a tight visual space.  Please answer the following questions concerning this video:

  • How many people are in this video, including backing dancers?
  • How do you do that Roly Poly hand thing?
  • Which girl's boobs are the easiest to fap to?


Question 2: 

Colour anomalies in all types of colour blindness can affect depth perception.  Please answer the following questions concerning this video:

  • What is the approximate width and depth of the stage, in metric or imperial measurements?
  • What the fuck is Tae Jin Ah wearing, is that shirt really puke-green?
  • Did you have to focus on the jackets of the backing dancers to prevent nausea?
  • If the answer to the previous question is "yes", did it work?


Question 3: 

Colour blind individuals with various types of anomalous trichromacy can perceive optical illusions and size differentials with fast moving objects.  Please answer the following questions concerning this video:

  • What is the total amount of circular colour-fill stage lights in the background?
  • Do your eyes sometimes confuse the adults with their miniature doppelgangers?
  • Did the adult rapper and child successfully synchronise all dance moves from 1:21 to 1:30?


Question 4:

Some colour blindness types, in particular monochromacy or total colour blindness, can alter perceived brightness levels, making ambient light seem brighter than it really is.  This is true especially in brightly-lit indoor environments.  Please answer the following questions concerning this video:

  • How many different coloured dots are in Raina's hair?
  • How many cookies and ice creams are on the stage?  Does the number change?
  • Can you fap to this?


Question 5:

Deuteranomaly or red/green colour blindness can make red objects appear to be more distant, and green objects to appear more in the foreground - or vice versa.  Please answer the following questions concerning this video:

  • Did you notice green objects in this video before or after you heard "JYP"?
  • What percentage of the plants on the rotating rotundas appear as red?
  • Do any of the rotundas stop moving at any point in the video?


Question 6:

Colour perception in people with anomalous trichromacy and dichromacy decreases with light levels and saturation levels, often resulting in confusion in colour perception of the blue-purple-violet spectrum.  Please answer the following questions concerning this video:

  • Do the upper half of the girl's costumes appear purple at the start of the video?
  • Do the costumes still appear purple at 0:50?
  • The brightest lights appear at the very end of the video.  Do the costume colours appear to change again?


Congratulations, you've completed the ultra-scientific colour blindness test, and you now know everything there is to know about colour blindness!  Or maybe not, but hey, at least you got to watch some k-pop videos!  Cheers to you!


  1. It's entertaining enough. Kudos! I, too, am color blind. But since I have no intention to become a pilot, my doctor just advised me to welcome color blindness with open arms.

    I can distinguish primary colors from one another, as well as distinguish secondary colors from one another and from the primary colors. The issues come when comparing tertiary colors (difference of yellow, yellow green, green) or basically any color close to each other (i.e. difference between black, dark red, dark green, navy blue, or pink-purple-magenta-rose-etc).

    1. I find it easiest to fap to girls wearing eithe rblack, or white, or a combination. It's less confusing for the eye. I reckon if someone ever got data on guys who visit maid salons they'd find a higher percentage of colour-blind people have a maid fetish. I like maids but only if they're wearing black and white... if they wear a red or blue maid outfit or whatever there goes my boner.

    2. It would be fascinating if genetic variations (in your case: color blindness) really play a significant role in individual fetishes. thanks hyung. I will do some random according to your suggestion. Then may be people who like pettanko or fake loli (adult girl who looks like quite young) may have abnormal depth perception. =)

    3. I have the same type of color blindness.

      I see vivid color and can correctly identify almost any primary color but I know I'm not seeing it the same way as "normal" people because I fail just about every color blindness test (the ones where you are supposed to pick out things from a circle of colored dots).

      I imagine if some medical procedure restored my vision to true color I'd probably hate it and ask for them to change it back (since I'm so used to seeing color as I know it).

  2. The hand thing on roly poly is really easy oppar (oh that's just one of the talent I got embedded to my gay genes).

    Must be really hard losing track of your character in LoL all the time (especially Karma) lol

    1. It's the limp wrist that gay guys have which helps them do the Roly Poly hand movement. I watched some YouTube of some gay guy doing it and he explained it like it was nothing but I tried it and it wasn't the same, it's that wrist I tell ya.

      Leona's a fave because she's bright yellow, that really helps. With most other chars my eyes start following someone else for a while and I think that's me instead. Problem fixed with the space bar but I never remember that in the heat of the moment. Also those area-effect attacks others do on me that are proceeded with a bright red warning circle - I just blunder into that shit most times. LoL colour blind mode is useless, all it does is change my health bar to yellow, the game needs a proper colour blind mode where you can remove red completely from the game before I'm on an even footing with other players.

    2. Wont you have a problem playing Annie? Goth skin makes it easy is it?

      Honestly I don't really know if the wrist thing that I do is correct, but it looks ok. Lol oppar so you actually tried to learn roly poly dance in your own free time ( I'm not alone yay)

    3. Annie's okay because Tibbs just melts everything so you don't really need to be able to teamfight or see what's going on, just drop Tibbs shoot off your other stuff and click randomly in the direction of home base.

      I think any k-pop fan from 2011 or prior who is being honest with themselves tried to do the Roly Poly hand thing at one point or another. The rest of the dance? Fuck no. Just that hand thing.

    4. And I thought the Colorblind feature actually did something lol

  3. "Which girl's boobs are the easiest to fap to?" - Ruru's ass.

    1. That pretty and hot girl from Tren-D.

      I also like her butt:
      But it's hard to find ass-pics of her.

  4. "What is the approximate width and depth of the stage, in metric or imperial measurements?"


  5. Why does everyone bitch and moan about why which country spells things differently? (Not directed towards Kpopalypse.) I come from America where dialects come and go, and who gives a fuck about why America, Britain, and Australia spells things different. It's all the same language and it's obvious what we're trying to spell. That shit gets on my nerves.

    Anyways, interesting article. It was a cool read.

    1. Yeah whether ppl understand the meaning is more important than how you spell it. I knew though that if I didn't put in that thing about "color" then some Internet warrior would correct me in the comments.

    2. "America, Britain and Australia SPELL things differentLY"
      Heil Grammar!
      /nazi salute

  6. wow, you didn't know until you were 18, i found out when i was around 7 after my teachers noticed i always always coloured in the sky in purple

    1. Smart teacher. My teachers weren't that attentive because my school sucked so badly. It's probably better that I didn't know back then, I felt weird enough growing up without that knowledge!

  7. I wonder if a depth perception impairment is worse. Aside from to frequent forklift mishaps at work that is. I can never truly appreciate Sunny's rack but I watch 3 different shades of red cheek glow when I tell her how magnificent it is.

  8. My brother is colour blind, and although my parents worried (who knows why), he doesn't give a shit.

    1. It's not that big deal unless you want to be in the military, an electrician, a bomb disposal expert (cut the red wire lol) or a pro gamer.

    2. i think you can be a pro gamer in MOBA games with color blindness like yours,if Blue/Red can be differentiated that's enough.Colors doesnt impact these games THAT much. Though it will be a problem for RTS games like Age of Empires/CoH/C&C

    3. I certainly can't do League Of Legends. Half the characters have attacks which are pre-empted by a flashing red circle.