Thursday, July 2, 2015

The Story of a Man who got Fucked Over after Listening to Big Bang's "Sober"


This song fucking blows, if you really need my opinion on the song. What's new from Big Bang? In before that faggot Unknown complains about how no one here thinks this song is good and somehow brings J-pop into the conversation.

Now let's get to the story.

Andy was excited for tonight. Once a month, his wife would agree to take it anally. He would have to get pegged before his wife would take it in the ass, but Andy thought it was a small sacrifice to make. It was 5:00 PM, and Andy was finally off from work. He pulled out his phone and looked at his Twitter feed. While he didn't really listen to K-pop, he followed the groups his wife liked just so that he would at least understand a little bit of what she liked. He noticed that Big Bang released a new song titled "Sober". 

"Hey, isn't this Big Bang group her favorite?" thought Andy. "She'll probably be happy knowing that her favorite group released a new song." 

Andy pulled in the driveway and saw his wife get out of her own car. Andy quickly rolled down the window. "Honey, Andrew is staying over at his friend's house all night." Andy's wife gave him a smile as she opened the front door. She was wearing as short of a skirt that she could professionally wear, along with a tight-fitting white dress shirt. Andy couldn't wait to tear her clothes off, but he wanted to wait until she heard the new Big Bang song so that she would be in an even better mood. Andy pulled out his phone and opened the "Sober" MV. 

"Honey, your favorite group released a new song today." 

"Really?" she asked. "I was so busy with this latest project that I forgot all about the song. Let's listen to the song. Andy played the video and listened to the song with his wife. He didn't mind it, because he thought the song was going to make his wife crazy in bed. Andy preferred county music because it didn't have any UCAAD influences, so all of the pop music sounded the same to him. He just thought this song sounded the same as the rest of the UCAAD music being produced around the world. Andy looked at his wife and she just had a blank expression on her face. 

"Was she alright?" Andy thought. 

"The song's alright," the wife said. "I'm just a little disappointed. Why the fuck is G-Dragon even singing? His singing is more painful than the first time you tried to fuck me in the ass without any lube." 

Andy didn't think anything of it, and was hoping that the sex would help take her mind off of it. He started aggressively kissing her and ripping her clothes off. He picked up her and took her to the bedroom. Knowing that his wife was going to demand that she peg him first, and took off his pants and plopped onto the bed. The wife started sucking Andy's dick and fondling his balls. After a few minutes, she stopped sucking his dick and started licking his asshole. She did all of this devoid of any emotion, so Andy didn't know what to expect. 

The wife opened the drawer next to their bed and put on her strap-on dildo. She lathered it up in lube and grabbed a hold of Andy's dick. She inserted the strap-on into Andy's urethra and started forcefully fucking him. She wouldn't listen to any of Andy's pleas to stop; she simply kept on fucking for the sake of fucking. Andy was able to push her off, but his dick was now ruined. He quickly called 911, and he was taken to the hospital right away. 

The emergency doctor gave Andy the bad news. "Your dick is unusable. The fucking widening your dick too much, and you will require vast amounts of surgery to fix it." Andy agreed to the surgery, but while he was under anesthesia, his wife killed all of the doctors in the operating room. She took a knife and sliced off Andy's dick and then stitched the hole up haphazardly. Andy awoke to see that his dick was missing. His wife was just there cackling. He wanted to fucking kill her, but she was holding up a piece of paper. It was a divorce decree. 

They held a trial for their divorce several weeks later, and despite all of the wrongdoings his wife did, Andy lost the case because of the faggot-ass feminist bullshit the law subscribes to. Andy lost custody of their son and had to pay alimony and child support. 

The judge looked at Andy. "Do you have any last words?" 

Andy stood up and looked around the room. "Yes. Do not get married, and if you are stupid enough to get married, do not marry a fucking Big Bang fan. Those bitches have to be fucked up in the head to like shit such as "Sober" and "Bang Bang Bang," which are incredibly terrible songs. I made the mistake of marrying someone younger than me just because she was in her prime as far as looks, but bitches that young aren't fully mentally developed and happen to like shitty boy bands that will make them go crazy in the end. If you happen to marry a woman who listens to K-pop, make sure she likes T-ara or any other girl group that consistently releases good music. But seriously, if you're dating anyone under 20 years old who religiously listens to K-pop boy bands, get the fuck out the relationship right now."

28 comments:

  1. HOW DARE YOU DISLIKE MY OPPAS MUSIC!

    this song is soOOoOooOoO addictive, it's crazy good! How can no one on this website see that? This is one of THE BEST songs out there right now. Those slutty unnie bitch bully whore T-ARA can't release songs like this! G-Dragons music takes GOOD EARS to listen to, ears that obviously this JPOP hating community does NOT posses!
    THE best music mAKERs in Korea
    1) G-dragon
    2) Teddy
    3) Busker Busker
    everyone else espeicaly females can fuck OFF!!@!!! Get away from mY OPPAS u MAN STEALLINGS BITCH FAKES!

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    3. No, I just hate reading the comments and seeing you bring up J-pop all the time. Go to Arama Japan or some shit and leave this site.

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    6. The readers don't have the right to shit. This isn't a democracy. I could remove the ability for anyone to comment.

      You two are simply retarded, anyway. Not wanting to read about Unknown bitching about J-pop in every article =/= butthurt. If he really wants to talk about J-pop, go where someone cares. No one really gives a shit about J-pop here. Hardly any of the K-pop groups' Japanese songs are covered here because they suck ass. However, you don't see me bitching in every single article about how J-pop sucks because it's IRRELEVANT to anything I write, just like how Unknown's comments about J-pop are IRRELEVANT to any article on this site.

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    8. Please don't ban Unknown. I love reading butthurt jpop related comments.

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    9. Me too, Part Time Sone! It justifies the existence of this blog.
      OBVIOUSLY, Unknown and LostSeraphine are...the same person, perhaps?
      Maybe, maybe not?

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  5. That was the most asinine bullshit I ever read

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  6. I find the song is more tolerable than their last four releases but it's still not living up to their past good stuff. This is just a meh version of G Dragon's "Crooked" which was a legitimately good song. The best thing for me is the lyrics and the fact that GD is still rocking red hair.

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    1. Everg idok with red bair gets called that and I see zero resemblance each time, aside from V who actually had orange hair.

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  7. Lol i was also attacked last time because I joked about Akf having more than one authors . Smh until now

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    2. HYSF, ignore your detractors.
      They aren't adding to the quality of the comment section either.

      Also, maybe you should remove the above person's comment too.
      They forgot what the title of this blog is.

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  8. HAHAAH the comment section is more entertaining than the article itself. The joys of this blog..love it!!!

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    1. personally speaking, i am a fan of AoA,T-Ara, Hello Penis/Venus and J.Hyoseung... If the authors write bullshit about them and add MS Paint dick edits, im totally cool with that. These KPOP stars are not my Mum, why should i get offended?

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  9. This is the best independence day show ever.

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