Sunday, July 31, 2016

Here's Some Hot Girls: Kalliope's Bias List

In celebration of AKF, in his eternal mercy, instating me as a full author here, I've decided to inflict my bias list on y'all so that you can hopefully get to know me better. Plus, this way we can avoid everyone criticizing my life choices incorrectly (now you can criticize them correctly!). Also, it's just going to include a whole bunch of pictures and videos of hot girls.

I'm going to do this a little bit differently than AKF did his, though, because if I didn't my list would change like every four seconds. So instead of listing my top 10 in order, I'm just going to tell you who my favourite member of every group I care about is. Don't worry, it won't be too long, because 1) I only follow girl groups and 2) I don't give 2 fucks about half of them. Plus, this way you can get a preview of the stuff I'll be writing articles on (hell will freeze over before I learn the names of the girls in Lovelyz or Sonamoo, for example). Also, I'm not including any groups with cute/innocent concepts and underage members (such as Gfriend and Oh My Girl) for obvious reasons, even though I care about them and will write about their music. I'm also, for the sake of space, not including the following defunct or semi-defunct groups that I follow(ed): 4Minute (Sohyun as a blonde/Hyuna), Spica (Jiwon), After School (no strong preference), Miss A (Fei, obviously), 2NE1 (CL), Secret (Hyoseong, also obviously). Onwards:

AOA - Hyejeong






Hyejeong has the best face and the best smirk in kpop. She might not have the best body or the most talent (like that matters lol) but the girl is pretty as fuck and she acts like she knows it. She looks like she bullied people in high school (and since she was a cheerleader and a model, she probably did) and I'm into it.

Bestie - Dahye



Quite frankly I do not think Dahye is that hot but she is by far my favourite member of Bestie because her thighs look more or less like mine and so every time some netizen says she's hot because of them I get one step closer to heaven. Thank you for repping, Dahye. You're doing the Lord's work.

EXID - LE





LE isn't the best looking member of EXID, or the one with the most stage presence (that's Hani in both cases). But she is genuinely talented, cool, and funny. Plus she has a nice ass. 

Fiestar - Yezi






Yezi did not come here to fuck around. She raps her heart out (her solo debut this year was one of the best female rapper solos in recent memory), she dances her heart out and she gives 110% in every situation. It takes a lot to beat out Jei (she kissed a girl in a webseries!) so if I'm picking Yezi over her, you know it's because Yezi is so hot it should be illegal.

Girl's Day - Sojin





Sojin dropping it in Something is what got me into kpop. She's 30 years old and she's still got it. Some things change, but Sojin is forever.

Mamamoo - Hwasa





Another sister in ample thighdom, Hwasa would have my loyalty on that basis alone ... but fortunately, she also seems like she has a fantastic personality.

Rainbow - Hyunyoung




It's hard to compete in a group that has Jaekyung, but Hyunyoung knows how to work it. Plus, I don't care if it's implants or a push-up bra. Boobs are boobs, and Hyunyoung has plenty.

Stellar - Junyool


I like how her butt is constantly falling out of her shorts. I am a woman with simple needs and simple tastes. Can you blame me? Also, she is one of the most enthusiastic performers I've seen in kpop, which I really respect.

TWICE - Mina



Queen Mina is way too hot for TWICE's concepts, and she knows it. I cannot wait until Tzuyu is legal and we get to see Mina in all her sexy concept glory. 

Wonder Girls - Sunmi




I bet this comes as a shock to exactly none of you, because I talk about Sunmi in just under half of my posts here. What can I say, the woman is attractive and one of the most reliably and unwaveringly talented performers in kpop. Plus, I like a bitch. 

44 comments:

  1. You just confessed to having thighs like Dahye's. Look out for the thirst train.

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    Replies
    1. If you're sexy, then flaunt it.

      http://i.imgur.com/Nsv4ByK.jpg

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    2. I don't think kalliope wants to flaunt her camel toe.

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    3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM

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    4. Lol yeah I'm not going to put a picture of my butt and legs on the internet, sorry y'all

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  2. Where is Bestie? I miss Dahye's legendary thighs.

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    Replies
    1. The real question. I need Bestie to save my gay ass

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    2. ugh same. Love Options was so good

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  3. TBH the one that surprised me the most is Junyool, I mean she's also my favorite but normally (like 95% of the time) people pick Minhe

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    Replies
    1. Minhee is my #2 but I really like Junyool's face, it's so distinctive even though it's not as typically "cute" as Minhee's. Plus Junyool commits to dance routines like nobody else.

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  4. why does the rainbow girl always look super high/stoned/has bom-park-syndrome?

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    Replies
    1. I think it's just that, much like Bom, her eyes are ginormous compared to the rest of her face.

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  5. Big boobs are saggy boobs.

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    Replies
    1. They're not always saggy! But to each their own.

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    2. Well it's not like I see big titties and go "ew" or anything. They are also quite eye-catching as, well, there is more of them to catch the eye, but I do have preference.

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  6. Recently watched some Wonder Girls performances. It's funny how "Why so lonely" is something I wouldn't ever want to listen too, but the way they dance, smile and wink overflows with sexiness. It's like watching three real women and a child robot try to hipnotoad the audience. More than anything they look relaxed (due to experience I guess), and that seems to bring out the best in acting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The new one, Lim. She's still following script and tends to look a bit awkward in closeups. The others look like enjoying themselves and Lim looks like "where do I have to move now… right, here, ok, now smile to the camera… right, now turn around…".

      Child because she doesn't give out yet the vibe of a woman, at least compared to the others. Interestingly she's as old as Sunmi. But then same happens with Twice, in their last CF I saw everybody behaved like an adorable child except Momo, who looked like a JAV star.

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    2. Lim has been with the group for 6 years now.
      Judging by the drunk video posted here recently, she just seems more shy.

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    3. Yeah, I know, should have said "the recent addition". But after 6 years shyness is an excuse for a deeper problem. It's also something very subjective she might not be aware of. Sometimes I'm having fun and friends ask me why do I look so bored, which puzzles me, so I know I shouldn't have a job where expressing feelings with my face/body is one of the main selling points because I'm never going to be good at it.

      Maybe Lim is just tired of joining the Drunken Girls in their dildo orgies but she has a contract to keep.

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  7. Damn girl your thighs look like Dahye? Pics or it didn't happen.

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    Replies
    1. But how does the rest look?

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    2. I'm not gonna put pictures of my thighs on the internet, sorry. But honestly I'm not sure Dahye-type thighs are that uncommon (at least where I'm from). Dahye has a fair bit of cellulite and her thighs aren't that toned, they're just thick.

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  8. "I don't care if it's implants or a push-up bra. Boobs are boobs" - Truer words have never been spoken.

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  9. Hyejeong has really nice eyes.

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    1. She is so ridiculously pretty, but in a real girl-next-door way, which is a perfect match for her super down-to-earth and personable character, and she's not that way in a simpleton/bimbo way, just a very earnest person who gives people a chance. Damn she's such a dream girl, and super freaking hot.

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    2. Ugh I love her. She is way too beautiful to be as sweet as she is. The fact that she is so overshadowed by Seolhyun is a national tragedy.

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    3. Hyejeong and Yuna >>>>>>> Seolhyun

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    4. YES. Yuna is life. SO underappreciated.

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  10. LE and Yezi seem to have very strong personalities n that is always the main thing that attracts me to them ,

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  11. Yes to Junyool. She's also my favorite in Stellar. She's just so fucking hot.

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  12. We have very simmilar bias lists. Junyool deserves more recognition, she's basically the only reason I follow Stellar. Her dancing Vibrato IS THE BEST

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  13. I noticed all of them are from lesser known groups except twice lol.

    Yazi ftw

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    Replies
    1. I don't think of AOA or Girl's Day as being lesser known lol ... what groups other than Sistar and SNSD (both of which I have no singular strong preference in) do you think I missed?

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  14. Well now I know we have similar thighs!

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  15. FINALLY someone appreciates Hyejeong! I discovered AOA in Heart Attack and I swear I thought I saw a goddess when her close ups appeared. Hyejeong and Yuna need more love.

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    Replies
    1. Hyejeong is so unfairly pretty, I'm surprised she isn't considered a top visual.

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    2. Hyejeong is so unfairly pretty, I'm surprised she isn't considered a top visual.

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    3. I am elated that there is a secret undercurrent of Hyejeong/Yuna stanning. I was getting super tired of the nonstop Seolhyunathon.

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    4. Seolhyun is my current bias in AOA however Hyejeong and Mina share the #2 spot.

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  16. Yay you are a bitch face fan (because you can relate yourself with them or something like that) lol

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  17. I was so happy to see Hyejeong in this list. She is too beautiful to not receive recognition.

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