Sunday, July 3, 2016

Kpop's Most Iconic Song Intros

Kpop, to a degree infinitely greater than Western pop, is prone to appending informative introductions to their songs. And every now and then, these first ten to fifteen seconds of a song are so unbelievably ridiculous or catchy (or ridiculously catchy) that they far overshadow the remainder. Here are a few of my favourites:





Hey, remember when After School was a thing? Well, this music video is notable primarily for its extensive, extremely tasteful use of stripper poles. But the song is notable primarily for the fact that the man whispering "get funky, get down, get down, COME ON, get down, get down" is interrupted after a mere ten seconds by a bloodcurdling female scream. I can only assume that Nana fell off her pole, causing the unholy noise that makes this intro so memorable.




Did you know that no matter where you go (Korean I can't understand because I'm uneducated) the pretty girls are ... AOA? Yes! Uh-HAH! You know! (I know!) You know! (I know!) But you would not know were it not for Jimin's instantly iconic introduction.



There is no greater offender in the realm of unintentionally hilarious song introductions than the Brave Brothers. Complete with a stage-whispered "are you ready?" and weird use of AutoTune, this is Bravesound at its best and most incongruous.



This most mortifying of music videos is foreshadowed by the deeply mortifying call to arms "Everybody, I said EVERYBODY, report to the dance floor. Miss Hyuna is back." It makes Hyuna sound like she's some knockoff version of Ciara circa 2004.



Finally, the self-congratulatoriness of a JYP intro is combined with the awkwardness of a Bravesound intro, creating this masterpiece of a lovechild. Here, we get our usual Stock Male Whisperer (who I have to assume is a Brave Brother?) introducing this collaboration like it's going to solve world hunger and end racism forever. It's the first collaboration! Can you even believe it? Really makes you think about how much the world was missing out on before JYP and Bravesound joined forces on February 16th in the year of our Lord 2014 to inform us that finally it was "time to ... leggo".

25 comments:

  1. I was surprised to see the first four MVs, since I don't remember them having a good intro at all (and never heard of MV 5). But then I realized you were going for bad "iconic" intros.

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    1. Yeah these are ... terrible. Maybe I'll do a sincere post someday, but it's unlikely.

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  2. I thought 'like a cat' has the trumpets at the beginning to be the catchy intro, the jimin part is more prominent and iconic in 'heart attack' imo.

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    1. Really? I agree that the Heart Attack intro is also a gem but "the pretty girls are AOA" really changed my life.

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  3. Doesn't get more epic then this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a5MjqTz_m4

    You think the engrish chat is the intro, but then it still sounds like an intro, and you can't tell where the intro ended and the song began.

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    1. Oh wow this is off the chain

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    2. I'LL MELCHUDEL LIKE ICE CREAM

      So many classic intros.

      2NE1 Fire: *horns* AHGOBAH THE NAME OF SEE EL OF TWENNY ONE

      5dolls 입술자국 (the most cheerful song about being cheated on in existence): FIIIIVE GURRS! YES! YES! 5 DOORS! COMIN ATCHA! I KNOW U BEEN WAITING FOR DA WRONG TIME -- LONG TIME!

      Kara Lupin: No one truly knows what Nicole is saying after TWO OH ONE OH

      Tiny-G 보고파: (BABIES! *echoes*) *bewildered* "...who are you?" *aggressive* "I'M TINY-G!" (BABIES! *echoes*) *lighthearted* "...and you?"

      After School Yes No Yes: *whispers* I'm dreaming you're not Hulk... you're driving me crazy baby... hey... listen up.

      Taeyang I Need A Girl: Tired of being alone... sick of being single... I guess I need me a girl!

      miss A Bad Girl Good Girl: *scoffs* JYP... Introducing... Made in Asia... MissSSS A! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! SO SHUT UP BOY! SO SHUT UP BOY! SO SHUT UP BOY! SO SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

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    3. Kara If U Wanna: *decidedly un-hype* Yeh yeh... ladies an gettleman... right now introduce K-A-R-A... do you wanna love? Yeah, I know you wanna love! (I LOOOOOOVE!) Baby boo!

      f(x) ME+U (the official jailbait anthem): Yea yea yea yea yea yea yea! "Oh!?" "Hey, this is it!" "What?!" "Let's go~!" "Heh!" M E + TEACH ME! Uh huh! Teach me! *sexual panting* Show me! Show me! Show me! OHHH!

      Nine Muses 넌 뭐니 (Who R U): *sexually moaning everything* uh ahhh.... come on... only you... *robotic announcement* SENSUAL ENERGY! *more moaning*

      Shinee Ring Ding Dong: It's all Korean so I won't type it but it is definitely iconic the way he sings it and the mixing is so forward and flat it's downright abrasive.

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    4. Shit I can't believe I forgot Bad Girl Good Girl ... and Goodbye Baby too. Gotta love that extended rev up.

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    5. Also Fire is amazing. I need to do a followup to this post, I guess. So many incredible things slipped my mind.

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    6. What's wrong with the intro to miss A's Good-bye baby?
      It's a simple "This is a JYP production" and I think the starting melody doesn't sound bad.

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    7. Nothing, I love it! I'm currently plotting my non-ironic kpop intros post.

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  4. SNSD I Got A Boy: AYO GG!

    T-ara Bo Peep Bo Peep: Don't lose your temper so, so, so quickly.

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    1. SNSD The Boys ... although Jessica (may she rest in peace) throwing the bird into the air is probably the most visually iconic thing in kpop ever, so that might overshadow the audio intro.

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  5. Ha ha yeah! BBC follow me! BOunce like this! Bounce like this! BLock B in ths houuuuuse, Z and pop time music, it's oFICially over now. Bye guys, HI LADIES! mmm hwa.

    It was an early sign that we need to end Zico.

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  6. VIXX:
    Yeah, I wanna win this race
    VIXX haha
    Value in excelsis, Aoooowww
    Uh Brand Nu Boyz is in da buildin’
    Yes sir, Show we gonna make it rookie’s time
    Race is exciting

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    Replies
    1. Ravi of Vixx is well known for his unique intros.
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a3uF_lOfBmI

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  7. 3/4 are Brave. If there is one thing Brave is good is making a great first impression....then makes a mediocre bop

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  8. That Sistar's intro in Shake It was so bad it's not even funny:
    "Money maker, rump shaker
    Heartbreaker, chance taker
    Net payer, one slayer"
    Someone got paid for rhyming random ass words out of a dictionary.
    Also the deep tryhard guy's voice in genie:
    "Turn it up
    Just turn it up
    That's right, c'mon" lmao

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    Replies
    1. I'm late but Shake It's into perfectly describes Sistar.

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  9. you niggaz better know

    https://youtu.be/gg9F3OJV5_0?t=56s

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  10. I would add GD's cringy 1 minute long intro for Seungri's Strong baby

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  11. A.De Strawberry

    Its summer time, lets cool down with A.De!

    But The ebglish is great though

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  12. I have just downloaded iStripper, and now I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

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