So you want to be a k-pop songwriter - Kpopalypse's 7 steps to certain success*

I've written before about people wanting to become k-pop idols, and how realistic (or not) that is... but what about people who aim to be songwriters?  Is k-pop songwriting a realistic goal?  Can it make money?  How to best approach pitching your songs to the k-pop market?  Never fear as Kpopalypse has all the trufax!

Kim Hyun Joong celebration post

Hi caonimas!  As many of you may know, SS501 singer Kim Hyun Joong was recently found innocent of all those nasty domestic violence charges!  Courts can never be wrong, so this means that Kim Hyun Joong must be the great person that Kpopalypse always knew he was!  It's time for a celebration post!

Healthy porn for men - deconstructing dog-whistle concepts in k-pop

Recently, a producer of the idol TV show "Produce 101" came out and openly admitted what I'd already known and had been telling people for years - that the show (and by implication, all idol groups with a similar theme) is basically jack-off material, or "healthy porn for men" as he describes it.  Several people were shocked - could this be true?  How come they hadn't noticed?  More importantly, how to identify this "healthy porn"?  Come on a journey with Kpopalypse into the world of dog-whistle concepts!

Kpopalypse explains common song structures in k-pop

I'll post full results of the latest Kpopalypse survey later, but one of the big requests that is emerging is that people really want me to write a post about song structures in k-pop.  So, here it is!

Things Kpopalypse dislikes in music: k-pop ballads

It's well known that Kpopalypse doesn't like k-pop ballads, but why?  What is it about ballads that makes them suck so much?  Are there any good ballads?  If so, what makes a good ballad good, and a bad ballad bad?  Can ballads be bad meaning good?  Read on as Kpopalypse explores the trufax about k-pop ballads!

Tiffany's guide to Korean culture and lifestyle

Ohmigosh, hi everybody it's Tiffany here!  I'm so happy to be here!  Kpopalypse always gets questions about Korean culture but he doesn't live in Korea, so he asked me to write something about my favourite country in the world for you who are thinking of coming to Korea!  This is absolutely unexpected and exciting and humbling all at the same time!  Let's learn all about Korea!

The Kpopalypse Fandom Insanity Scale

With the emergence of YG's new girl group Blackpink who in true YG fashion have debuted a cool, casual 32 months behind schedule, curious caonimas now wish to know what I think of their fandom.

However, I wasn't sure that answering this question was a good idea.  Kpopalypse blog has always been about teaching k-pop fans to think for themselves rather just go along what what's trendy or accept what some dickhead on the Internet spoonfeeds them, even if that dickhead is me.  So rather than just answer these questions simply, I thought - why not give readers the tools to determine by themselves exactly how insane any given k-pop fandom is?  Enter the Kpopalypse Fandom Insanity Scale!

Kpopalypse's handwritten apology letter to Sones for what he did when he was 10

Well, I typed it by hand, does that count as "handwritten"?  I hope so.

Produce 101 is boring, and so is this post, and so are you

Wow, I've gotten more questions about reality TV show Produce 101 and their associated group I.O.I than just about anything else in this blog's entire history!  So here a post where I tackle all 238672 questions that I received about this shithouse TV series.  Read on and enjoy, or be completely fucking bored out of your brain like I was when I wrote this!  Yay!

Kpopalypse vs CaptionBot

The latest web-based AI intelligence image-recognition program and shining example of the future of infotech is Microsoft's CaptionBot, a program that will describe any image that you send to it.

CaptionBot is an astounding piece of software that can recognise many images of different things, but can it determine trufax from fiction in the world of K-pop?  Read on as Kpopalypse puts CaptionBot to the test!

Kpopalypse endorsement test - Jessica vs Taeyeon

After a long reflection period, Kpopalypse Endorsement Test returns again with a more mature image and another important question that concerns all k-pop fans!

Who should I stan more, Jessica or Taeyeon?

Things Kpopalypse likes in music: pedal-point harmony

Three things I have noticed about my readership:

1. They would like to know what I'm talking about with some of my fancy-ass music terms
2. They seem to dig my technical posts for some unknown reason
3. They are interested in more information on why I like or dislike certain songs

So here's a little post about pedal-point harmony - a musical term that I refer to quite often.  What the fuck is it?  Kpopalypse will explain all!  Although this is a music theory post, you won't need to know anything about music to understand this post, because I'm going to attempt to explain pedal-point harmony in a way that any drooling fangirl can understand.  Or maybe not, but we'll certainly talk a lot about drooling fangirls on the way, just for fun.  Don't forget your napkin!

The Kpopalypse Awards 2015

The only awards ceremony anybody cares about is back!  Twelve months has passed so it's time for the second annual Kpopalypse awards!

Even more relevant than the MAMAs, it's time to look back on the last 12 months and find out who won accolades from Kpopalypse!

Kpopalypse prediction results for 2015 and new super-infallible and totally accurate predictions for 2016

Last year I made a post predicting events in k-pop over the course of 2015.  It's time for Kpopalypse to revisit this post to see how right/wrong I was, and also to predict what's going to happen in k-pop in 2016!

Oh My Girl couldn't enter the USA and neither can you - a quick primer about performing visas

It's rare that an opportunity for me to drop a post about something extremely topical comes up, but occasionally k-pop will throw me a jewel like that and here one is.  K-pop girl group Oh My Girl had some visa issues recently when attempting to enter the USA and since touring headfucks is an area in which I'm uniquely qualified having managed many of them personally, here is now a quick, helpful trufaxual post for your entertainment and education!

The Kpopalypse guide to common k-pop logical fallacies

It seems that many people in the world of the onlinekpoposphere (which is a neat word I invented just now) don't know how to argue correctly, or have trouble picking up on other people when they are constructing arguments without sufficient adherence to trufax.  To aid these people, I've put together the following list of common logical fallacies used in arguments by k-pop fans, netizens and media outlets.  Sure, you can get all this information elsewhere on the Internet, but you should get it here instead, because only the nicest and most awesome people read Kpopalypse posts.

Understanding plagiarism and song ownership issues so you don't look like a fuckhead on the Internet

A couple years ago I wrote this post and then this other post about plagiarism in k-pop, to help the people I encounter understand the basics of what plagiarism is and is not.  I still gets tons of questions every time a new k-pop plagiarism or song ownership dispute appears, which seems to be about once per week lately.  So in the spirit of "teach a man to fish rather than slap them across the face with a fish", as well as the spirit of "please stop asking me these stupid fucking questions because nobody cares", Kpopalypse now brings to you a nice, simple guide to finding plagiarism in your favourite k-pop songs!  Yay!

An introduction to k-pop music genres part 2 - more stuff and things

Recently I did a post about some of the different music genres that are explored by k-pop.  Although it wasn’t supposed to be a complete list, people still complained anyway about me leaving out their favourite genres (along with their other usual complaints).  The smarter readers would have realised that I left certain genres out for a reason, but there were a few genuine oversights that I probably should have covered.  Also, I started getting questions like this:

I thought it would be fun (for me and people who enjoyed the previous post) and annoying (for everyone else) to revisit the topic of music genres and go through some genres that k-pop explores but which I didn’t cover before.  Let’s do it!

Red Pill Qri

It's a clear day on the beach, with just you and Qri, there's not too many people around, the sun is shining brightly and Qri looks great in her correctly-proportioned striped top.  However, behind her sunglasses you can sense that all is not right with Qri.  You've been talking about the world of Korean entertainment all afternoon and as you speak, her attention wanders.  Something seems to be increasingly on her mind, and you get the feeling that Qri seems to want to tell you something profound to shake your preconceptions... but what could it be?

K-pop life lessons with Kpopalypse - Ailee edition

Hey everyone, it's Kpopalypse back again with more amazing life lessons to share with you lovely readers!  After the stunning success of my previous life lessons post, it seems that some k-pop fans are still struggling with life's many challenges.  Thankfully, Kpopalypse is here to help all you caonimas achieve and succeed at life, this time with a little bit of help from Ailee!