Tuesday, October 2, 2012

How to be the Next Dara

AKF has recently formed a new training agency that can transform ordinary girls into kpop global stars. For all of you guys who are dreaming to fuck bang SHINee members, flirting with the likes of EXO and Super Seniors Junior all day long, there is no better chance.

We also have recently established affiliations with a few rubbish outstanding agencies in the kpop industry such as Open Your Eyes, Fuck Your Oppars, Sullifag is a Fag, and many more.

Don't YOU want to be the next Dara? Does the thought of banging SHINee intrigued you? Are you useless enough? Can you not dance/sing/rap? Do you want to do nothing but act cute/sexy and earn respect from 10 years old kids? If any of the above answer is yes, time to test your chance and give us a call!

We promise, you will be the next big star while still having 1% of your life untouched. If that doesn't sound appealing enough to you, please consider that we are giving out warranty for 5 years after debut. We promise that you will be better than that failed allkpop's idol group [ New F.O.].




So, what are you fags waiting for ? Just pick up the phone and call 1-800-KPOP-IDOL. It's toll free and our service is available 24/7 ( unlike the rubbish customer services of SM, YG, JYP, ect...HIV?)

Wait...but that's not all! For the next 24 hours, we will also give out free, fabulous Goo Hara posters as a gift! If you have the talents as stated above, please don't wait much longer and ruin your potential!





One of our best trainee, Im Jigeum is about to have her debut and take the typical Dara's role to the next level!
Please look toward for eet!!!



2:34 is the visual, the end is the high note part. As you can see in the comment, one of our staff member--Reehji has been training her hard enough for this debut!

28 comments:

  1. I can't rap, know 0 Korean, and am 100% tone deaf. Expect my debut soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you were a gangly twelve year old, you'd debut even sooner.

      Delete
    2. Remember! You CANNOT dance. If you have 20%< coordination in your legs, you have to forcefully fuck it up, or do the electric slide.

      Delete
    3. I can read 'get boned' all over this

      Delete
  2. i cant believe i watched all of that Im Jigeum vid, fuck you Reehjers, almost died from second hand embarassment, had to brace my self for the 3 octave notes, good god, at least she is cute

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey, at least she's better looking than most idols out there. I'll be applying to the agency to be in charge of security, sabotage (preferably YG and JYP) and all black operations.

    That cool?

    ReplyDelete
  4. sorry to burst ur bubbles but girls only man...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Gasp* DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!! SEXIST!!!!!

      Delete
    2. life is not equal. deal with eet!

      although girl securities can be really sexy ;)

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. oppar, i didn't pick up the phone because i knew it was you wanting to say hi, and your wife wants fany+beast autograph

      Delete
  6. so do all the women of seoul go to plastic surgeons with IUs picture in hand?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because most ahjussi love IU and they have more money in bank account?

      Delete
  7. I will be the main dancer and cute maknae.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YOU'RE NOT TALENTLESS, THEREFORE U DISQUALIFIED. I AM SORRY, BUT THERE CAN ONLY BE SO MANY DARAS....

      Delete
    2. BUT I AM NOMU NOMU KIYOPTA OPPAR

      Delete
  8. Hello... is it me you're looking for?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDZcqBgCS74

    ReplyDelete
  9. Pick up ur damn fone Rizzy unnir ! I want to debut along with that Kawaii Jigeum !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sorry but im a guy . its possible that we thought that was a prank call:/

      Delete
  10. wow, that jigeum looks a LOT like IU. is she a clone or something?

    ReplyDelete
  11. OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE'S SO PRETTY! O_O
    I think I'll skip the "Volume:On" thing though.She's better in mute.

    ReplyDelete
  12. if this bitch can make than maybe I have a chance to manager a Kpop group without them needing to be super talented

    just korean
    skinny
    pretty face
    that is it

    ReplyDelete
  13. too bad i am such an amazing rapper already i missed out

    ReplyDelete
  14. can I be the one who is so obviously gay that they stick me on We Got Married because Korean society is so homophobic they dont realise what gays act like?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. then have a couple named after something very masculine like Adam

      Delete
  15. I can do a decent impression of Jessica in Oh! and of Zinger in Poison. Does that count as talent or

    ReplyDelete