Sunday, October 28, 2012

The shocking truth behind the other members of 4Minute

Recently I saw the new Hyuna MV, 'Ice cream' and thought it was terrible, but that's beside the point. I already knew about Hyuna because she's "the-girl-without-eyebrows" in 'Gangnam Style' by Psy. Anyway I was intrigued by her lack of  eyebrows and decided to Wikipedia her and much to my surprise she's actually in a girl group called '4Minute'.

When I read that name I was vaguely reminded of a song called 'Volume Up' which made me go "Huh, I thought that was a 2NE1 song", before realizing that 'Huh' is also a 4Minute song. I know this is confusing but bare with me.

Searching through various Kpop message boards for more information about this girl group lead me to tons of information about Hyuna but hardly anyone seemed to talk about the other four girls.

I had to know more. Who are they? Are the orphans owned by Cube? Are they North Korean refugees? Are they failed clones of Hyuna herself?

Here's what I was able to find out:

Nam Ji Hyun (남지현)

The face of pure evil.
Nam Gee, or Nam-Gee-Gee as she is known in brothels across Korea is the lead singer, dancer, and also purest(?) member of 4Minute. She started as a trainee with JYP before they realized she has no talent and Cube swooped in to pick up her contract in the same manner you might pick up a cheap movie from a $5 movie bin at a store. The fact she became lead-everything says more about the lack of talent from the other members than about her. 

What follows is an except from a fanfic which I can only assume is based on true, real life events:
Young people her age started disappearing and even her own friends. She cries and mourns for them akin to her mother’s death. What others didn’t know is that she was the one behind all the disappearance.  She bathes on her victims’ blood believing that it gives her eternal beauty.
Now, I'm no expert but I believe Jihyun may be responsible for any number of unsolved deaths all across
Korea, no doubt caused by her insatiable lust for human blood.

Motivational message or cannibalistic recipe for human stew?

Heo Ga-yoon (허가윤)

Heo Ga-yoon real name Dodosick Gayoon was one of the more difficult members to find information on. However, after some sleuthing I discovered a secret twitter account that revealed a shocking secret so unbelievable you probably won't be able to believe it. Just have a look: (These are unaltered screen shots, only the names of the innocent have been hidden)

What are we to make of these terrifying and perplexing tweets? Was Ga-yoon attacked by a demon or perhaps a 3000 year old mummy? I believe the most likely scenario is that Ga-yoon is actually Kurt Russel in the movie 'The Thing'. That would explain what she meant by "It has already shown one body". Is one of the other members of 4Minute the current host of an alien being buried deep beneath the Arctic ice? Only time will tell.

Jeon Ji Yoon (전지윤)

Jiyoon was the most difficult member to find any information about. I only learned later that it's because she's been on the run her entire life from a horde of zombies. Yes, you read that right. After reading hours and hours of every 4Minute related fanfic ever written, what I could piece together is that as a child Jiyoon's family was attacked and eaten by a horde of reanimated undead. She then burnt the house down with any remaining survivors inside. Where did they come from? Why did they attack her family? Why did she burn her own house down? That has yet to be written about but until then, that's all I know.

"Boom! The house went up just like that!"

Kwon So Hyun (권소현)

Sohyun or "Cute Sohyun" as literally no one calls her is the maknae of 4Minute. Everyday Soyou sends her a bouquet of roses for taking her place in 4Minute, allowing her to be in the moderately more successful group Sistar.

"Everyday I pray for death."

From what I could discern, Sohyun is currently being held hostage by Cube Entertainment while her father works to pay off his massive gambling debts to Hong Seung-Sung, CEO.

As an infant Sohyun was part of the group "Orange" but they were disbanded because they talked the talk but couldn't back their shit up on the mean streets.

Sohyun is whisked away in the Cube patty wagon.

I had no idea where my search for information on the other 4Minute members would lead me, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would end here. I fear I have only scratched the surface with this and now it is up to you to find out more...


  1. Jihyun prettiest member and useless
    Gayoon most talented
    Sohyun is a chubbier Sandara but at least she is a cuter nose unlike daras huge one lol.
    Jiyoon the one ruining phominat song with her damn irritating voice

    1. Jihyun is the sex. Gayoon has been slowly getting prettier, but still has that natural bitch face.

    2. the way Gayoon smiles is really odd.

  2. I listened to a 4 Minute song once. Only once.

  3. Clever article. Much too clever for this site (No offense, Chuck). Or maybe I'm reading too much into it. Probably the latter.

    Yet, another author, though! I give you 5 months...tops.

  4. HYUNGIE!!!!
    You dont know about phominute???
    Not surprising since hyunah milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and she melts us down like ice cream (whatever is suppose to mean)

    jihyun has the biggest boobies in teh group...........


    And they all have really similar names, too many yoon's, hyun's and ji's. God damnit. And I actually really like their music..

  6. Surely everyone knows the other members of Pominit, if only for the fantastic cleavage regularly put on display.

  7. The Yoons are the only two with vocal talent in this group

    The Hyuns pretty much suck at everything but one of them is a great dancer and responsible for 99% of the group's fame

    Jihyun should step down as leader, everyone thinks HyunA is the leader anyway

    Sohyun used to fuck DongWoon so she's cool with me

    I used to hate HyunA but the constant criticism and slut-shaming she receives from those two douchebagels at Eat Your Kimchi turned me into her stan. Fuck you Simon & Martina.

    1. "Fuck you Simon & Martina."

      A comment I can really get behind.

    2. I second that "Fuck you Simon & Martina."

    3. Constant? Of all the hate she gets their criticism made u a fan? They've talked about her like 3x

    4. It was actually when they tagged one of her reviews as "Hyuna is a dirty slut" or some shit like that. Someone called them out (and gave a them a beautiful verbal smackdown) and they back tracked saying they did it for a bet. When they have young, impressionable (dumbass) kids taking their word as gospel and mimicking their opinions they should not be doing shit like that. It's not cute or funny. They crossed the line.

      So once again, fuck Simon and Martina.

    5. fuck Simon & Martina, they're a pair of adults acting fifteen.

    6. and DAAAMN Sohyun used to fuck Dongwoon?

      teach me master :ooooo

  8. This is hilarious. Isn't Gayoon or Jiyoon the lead vocal though?? Jihyun has a pleasant but super weak voice and she kept going offkey in her part of Volume Up. Also I read the bubble pop post on eatyourkimchi and thought it wasn't even bad!

  9. I only ever cared about double Yoon in 4minute, the rest I'm not very interested in. Wish Jiyoon went back to the glasses concept though because she was x10000000000000 more charismatic in them when PhoMinute first came out (apart from that one time she did the BOSS cape-tail flips in "Volume Up").

  10. Bababababababababab Bababababababa

  11. nothing about this is funny nor clever lol but then again what can you expect from a blog hosted on oop~

  12. Jihyun may be useless,but at least she's beautiful.She's even good as an actress.
    Jiyoon has the most annoying voice EVER,but she's funny and fucking adorable. o_o
    Gayoon is getting prettier,damn it...and has a strange voice.Da hell.
    Sohyun is probably one of the most useful members. *sigh*
    You know,the other members aren't all that in the back in Korea.But internationally...their dead. <_<

  13. I think you're on to something with that failed clones theory. I smell a coverup.

  14. Uhh.. Jihyun's is just Lead Dancer (and Leader but that's because of age). She's also the actress in the group.
    Gayoon: Main Vocalist
    Jiyoon: Lead Vocalist, Lead Rapper
    Sohyun: Sub rapper, vocalist
    HyunA; Main dancer, Main rapper, sub vocals

  15. you guys all need to f**king stop commenting shit about them. Jihyun is NOT useless. She's doing way more than the douchebag that made this fake page. Gayoon is NOT evil wtf how do you even think of that and everyone in 4MINUTE are beautiful and talented. That one picture on this site that says something shitty like, "Please they haven't fed us" or something like that, please at least get an app to make it look somewhat real. Get a life and stop saying stuff about my goddesses.