Thursday, July 3, 2014

[Review] f(x)'s "Red Light"


I have never, ever been more mortified by a song since SNSD released that tragic rhapsody entitled "I Got a Personality Disorder Boy", but f(x) have taken the cake when it comes to "Red Light". Listening to "Red Light" is like having a high powered, electric drill in my ear whilst listening to a castrated goat attempting to Yodle with a side of Princess Peach being bludgeoned to death by Luigi Mario. It took me a whole a hour to  gather my scrambled brains together after putting myself through the voluntary torture of listening to this song so I could bring you all this review and heed warning as to what you might encounter if you do press "play" on the above video.

I am here to lead you not into temptation, but deliver you from evil.



"Red Light" combines all the aneurysm-inducing aspects of IGAB and 2NE1's "Come Back Home", which wouldn't sound so diabolically bad if they didn't pump it up on Molly. The song lacks any form of cohesion and is a convoluted mess - it's basically another one of SM's failed attempts at emulating Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody". But, as seen with I Got a Brain Disorder and Ulf, the song is utter dog piss.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that this is SM's second attempt at making IGAB, because f(x) have been releasing this sort of dementor shit for a long time, but before it actually worked as there was some cohesiveness to their songs. This, this is just a mess. SM have finally succeeded in releasing something more awful than Kyrary Pamyu Pamyu's "Candy, Candy", which was nauseatingly bad. This song leaves me feeling like a dementia patient.

The pre-chorus and bridge were really wasted on this song and could have made an entirely different, but listenable, track.

Audio aside, the music video is like some sort of devil-worshipping, satanic shit that I just LOVE. The girls look great, and even Amber doesn't look repugnant because her styling and the music videos settings prevent her from sticking out like a sore thumb. I suggest watching the music video on mute because the girls look hot (especially Victoria, I wish I had her legs they are amazing). Luna's hair cut, weight loss and boob job also really added to the visuals of the music video.

I AM JUST SO GLAD THAT SM STUCK WITH ORIGINAL CONCEPT, BECAUSE FUCK IS IT GOOD!

Sadly though, the song fucking sucks and I will be sure to delete it once I download the album. Now, if the album isn't as good (or better than "Pink Tape") I am hitting the SM building with a helluva lot of TNT. I'll make sure to hit e*o whilst I'm on my jihad.

Here are some smoking hot gifs of f(x) slaying everything to oblivion.

CHINESE QUEEN OF THE WORLD
HEXING!
APOCALYPSE IS NOW!
F(SLAY)
STEP ALL OVER ME, QUEEN VICTORIA!

52 comments:

  1. *shrug* I liked the song. It's way better than IGAB in terms of cramming multiple songs into one, and it works for f(x) because like you said they normally do this kind of thing. SNSD has too much of a "clean" and cute image to pull it off.

    Anyway yeah the video itself was hot. Probably my favorite of theirs so far. Here's a thigh gap shot to piss off the fat activists.
    http://i.imgur.com/gHnTrSQ.jpg

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  2. The main problem is the vocals unfortunately. You can tell if you listen to the original

    https://soundcloud.com/phrased-differently/red-light-maegan-cottone

    The melody they chose for the chorus makes the transitions too jarring

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    Replies
    1. Wow, it sounds so much more better - and bearable - than f(x)'s remake. They shouldn't have changed the melody for the chorus because it's just so misplaced.

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    2. Do you think sm told them to try to sound like that, cause I do. I think the vocals is why its kinda off. I like the song, but it is something off. I had no idea they take songs like that and redo them. Cool

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    3. The original makes much more sense than that jungle shit they came up with. Red light is about making someone stop their advances, not about stopping while in the jungle and pushing caterpillars around.

      The song is much better performed than that atrocity that was I got a boy. Victoria saves the day with her flawless looks. In terms of looks for this comeback Victoria >>>>>> Sulli >>>> Krystal >> Luna >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Manber, but she's still looking prettier than what she has been looking like in their previous concepts.

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  3. Song is forgettable but nice, I thought it sounded perfectly coherent and not disjointed at all. Reminds me a bit of M.I.A, I still don't understand why peple are comparing it to IGAB. Personally I think the MV sucks: ringing phones, black cats, burned books, fetish costumes... this sort of screams "I have no idea what I'm gonna do for this video, so let's make a 'Takashii Miike meets the Internet Memes in JAV attires' in order to make the girls yell -ZOMG THIS IS SO ALTERNATIVE111- and the boys masturbate over the 5 members". Unfortunately f(x) is the only kpop group I like I never fapped to, so this just didn't work for me. Plus, that's NO WAY I would ever consider attractive a girl who's wearing a rosary as an hat.

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    1. I feel like the problem is that they had too much footage to work with. It seemed like they had this really great drama MV going on, similar to T-ara's Day By Day or EXO's Mama, but when it came time to edit they had to compress the whole thing into a four minute video and ended up with a whole bunch of shots that just confused the viewer. I quite like the song. It's not as good as Wolf but its better than IGAB. And fuck, Sulli as the maid/nurse/nun was so fucking sexy.

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  4. I liked the MV but the song sucks.

    But it's not as bad as IGAB, of course.

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    1. i got a boy was better than this ._. at least there's some proper music, this is just...i don't know.it does kind of sound like an electric drill...

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  5. SOMEONE BLEACH MY EARS, MY BRAIN IS GOING TO DISINTEGRATE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

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  6. So apparently sportseoul is supposed to out Krystal and someone from YG as a couple today?

    Standing by for more delicious drama.

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    Replies
    1. yIIISSSSSSS THE FANGIRLS NEVER LIKED KRYSTAL TO BEGIN WITH

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    2. NO WAY REALLY? HOLY MOLY I AM SO READY

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  7. am i the only one who finds these songs not only incoherent and seizure-inducing, but also boring as hell? i watched three minutes of that video and it felt like at least twenty

    if they'd gotten around to finishing their damn makeup this would've been f(x)'s best concept to date for me though

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  8. Awww damn f(x). This song had great potential up until the pre-chorus. Like, this was the song that 2NE1 dreamed of releasing, and then it turned into awkward, fast paced electronic crap. I blame the composers for even thinking that was a good transition because it clearly wasn't. The girls did a pretty good job with their sound till that point, especially Luna <3
    This'll take some time getting used to, but I can definitely get behind that beat at the beginning.

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  9. Look at the YouTube comments, its igab all over again. This time I told them to stop or fx will lose credibility

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  10. I liked the video, but the song in general is just a mess.

    That being said, I'm still looking forward to the album. Their comeback stage included "Milk" and I thought it was pretty good.

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  11. In typical SM/F(x) fashion the album is better than the actual title track by fucking miles. I didn't think the song was terrible however it didn't leave me in a "WOW" factor. It kind of just left me in a "What the fuck did I just listen too?" Either way I still think their music is better than SNSD's, IGAB or not. That's just my opinion.

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  12. amber in Hotpants..wow!! thats a rare sight...

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  13. I think Red Light is F(x)'s best song so far. I almost always disagree with the reviews on here. I also think Pink Tape is boring and I Got A Boy is awesome.

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    Replies
    1. "Pink Tape is boring" - I disagree

      "I Got A Boy" is awesome - I agree

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  14. Trap Beats- Good. Excellent. Loved them. K-Pop makes trap beats bearable for me God Bless them!
    Dub-Step (basically the chorus)- Horrid. No. Not good.
    Bridges- As good as the trap beats.
    Basically anything that wasn't ear raping dub-crap was great. All the girls looked hot.

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    Replies
    1. It sounds like dub-step to me. Sorry, I'm not excellent with technical terms. Anyway I listened to it like three more times and I actually kind of love it now, so the above comment doesn't really matter anymore lol.

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  15. I have to admit that after listening to the song a couple of times I'm kind of addicted. I guess it's only logical since I love Pink Tape AND I Got A Boy.

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    Replies
    1. It's going to take me a good few months to work up the courage and listen to Red Light, once more. That's what happened with I got a brain disorder...and I got hooked. oops

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  16. In case anyone is interested in listening the original version in english:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tnDNr3gZcU

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  17. The song was pretty disjointed, but not atypical of f(x)'s other songs. The format just didn't seem to work this time around and left the wonderful pre-chorus and bridge to waste, like you said.

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  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. This bears striking similarities to an idiot fangirl comment.

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  19. At least Sulli actually looks fappable instead of a pre-puberty kid.
    Song isn't that bad either. Just forgettable.

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    Replies
    1. And at least there's no cringeworthy rap from Amber.

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  20. Admittedly, I don't know why SM released this as their lead single. Judging by their snippets, the other songs sound a lot better.

    It's just like SNSD a few months back. I can't for the life of me understand why SM chose to release the bland "Mr. Mr." over the significantly more catchy "Soul".

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    Replies
    1. Didn't they already release soul for some Chinese drama or video game or some shit like that?

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    2. Because Mr. Mr. is a much more interesting song than Soul, which is uninteresting..

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    3. I actually liked Mr.Mr, it didn't give me a headache like Soul did.

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    4. Well, I'm the only one that wishes Goodbye would've been promoted rather than Mr. Mr.

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  21. Choiza should be damn cautious that Sulli wouldn't cut his GIGANTIC thing and offer it to Satan.

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  22. This is funny because I liked the song but I thought the video was a mess, because that makeup style doesn't suit Sulli at all.

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  23. I wouldn't even call this music.

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  24. Dunno I really liked the song (and also the MV), but yeah I admit I've realize I usually like the shitty songs like "Maxstep" and co. Whatever, I'll be the only mofo blasting this at full volume...

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    Replies
    1. no shame in liking terrible music, this is a commercial pop blog

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  25. Despite being jerky and kind of clunky I honestly really like it, it's something different for the group. Although since a lot of other people think it's terrible I'm worried if my bias towards them has clouded my judgement...

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  26. Decent direction IMO. I liked it personally but thhe again i also listen to music with pretentious labels like "post-hardcore" /shrugs

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  27. Candy Candy candy candy gummy sweetie sweetie gi-url-z luv.
    chewing chewing chewing chewing chewing cutie cutie, chu chu chu chewing love.

    I liked Candy Candy, then again I was able to listen to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gPuH1yeZ08 in all it's duration without it fazing me. The best part of Red Light is 1:05 to 1:19 imo. The song peaks there, and then falls flat on it's ass from that point on.

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  28. hhmm..i actually liked the song and the MV its like a rare good song from SM just like snsd IGAB..its still typically Kpop song, they have they're own colors on doing a song. so if you compared it to a good song from western pop...well you're really not good at judging, sorry..
    i just really love music and i enjoy listening to them :)
    btw, there's no bad song, its just our preference that makes us think its a bad song..

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  29. Am I the only one who thinks the chorus reminds of Lucifer? I think the same of IGAB, only that this one has the parts even worse merged.

    The vocals are totally off. I don't understand why K-Pop idols insist on doing this style of music that, obviously, doesn't suit them. I didn't like any of Big Bang boy's attempts at it either.

    The MV is great, but it's also true the idea is a mixture of other groups' MV's, only that visually all the girls, even Amber, look stunning. I just didn't feel their dance parts at the chorus at all, they look awkward.

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  30. Its all about Sewol yo! 경고하는 누군가 목소리를 잘 들어!

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