Saturday, July 26, 2014

Kpopalypse fashion class - horizontal black and white stripes

Never one to shy away from the important issues surrounding k-pop, it's time for Kpopalypse to cover an often-misunderstood and misrepresented topic of great importance - the effect of horizontal black and white stripes on boob perception.  Welcome to Kpopalypse fashion class!

stripeseunjung1

If you're anything like me, you'll be very sick and tired of the superfluous fashion articles that appear in k-pop media.  You've all seen them - some lazily tossed-off article about "oooh, look what [insert idol here] wore today, wow, isn't she so classy!".  If these worthless articles are not just paid for by the record company to help boost the idol's profile, they're churned out by the media outlet simply because nothing interesting was happening that week and someone had an article quota to meet - but they're functionally fairly useless.  If you're into k-pop fashion (or perving at k-pop fashion), surely you want some information that you can actually use.  Don't worry, Kpopalypse has got you covered!

Horizontal black and white stripes are often sadly avoided by many females as a fashion choice, as they have acquired a reputation for making women look fat, and women generally don't like to look fat for some strange reason that I've never quite been able to figure out.  Interestingly, science has in fact shown that the reverse is true and horizontal stripes in the right proportion actually contribute to a perception of being skinnier, but we all know how allergic to science people are in this day and age.  However, all this is neither here nor there for me, as long as women have nice-looking well-proportioned boobs I don't care that much about their weight, and horizontal black and white stripes also have the great effect of enhancing boob volume.  Therefore it's in my best interests to promote this fashion choice and show how it can be applied in an effective manner.

For best results, there are a few rules.

Firstly, black and white are the colours to use.  Accept no substitutes.

stripessunny

Sunny's assets are well-documented, yet she oddly doesn't look all that busty here - the reason why is mainly the colour red.  To be fair, Sunny is probably already busty enough for most, but it's worth noting that other colours don't usually have the same pronounced effect as black on white.  The reason for black and white working better than other combinations is the high contrast between the colours - the only higher-contrast combination possible is black and yellow, but nobody wants to wear that lest they remind people of Stryper.

stripesgain

Gain's blue top also doesn't work that well for boob-enhancement, to really get any effect here the colour needs to be stripped out of the image:

stripesgain2

That's a slight improvement, but this leads into the second point - clothing should be tighter rather than looser for the most pronounced effect.  Horizontal stripes work for boob enhancement because they give the curves an easily traceable outline for the eye to follow, like looking at a topographical map.

stripesleehyori

Lee Hyori's striped top is hanging just a bit too loosely here to provide any bust enhancement, because the eye doesn't have enough information to tell the difference between the curves of her body and pockets of air hidden under her clothing.  We know it's a bit of both, but which bit is what?

stripeshara

This pic of KARA's Hara is better but it should be noted that stripes have a maximum size before they are no longer effective and this clothing nearly exceeds the limit.  As a general rule, the thinner the stripes, the more enhancement that is generated.

stripesjihyun

The right spacing of horizontal black and white stripes can make boobs come up nicely even on quickly-snapped airport paparazzi shots.

stripessuzy

As you can see, by using a combination of very thin horizontal stripes and well-fitting clothing, sufficient boob enhancement can be generated even when working at a severe initial disadvantage.

Although purely vertical stripes convey no boob boosting properties whatsoever, combinations of horizontal and vertical stripes can work well in certain patterns to increase volume by leading the eye to important areas.

stripeshyomin

You don't need to go all-out - as long as at least some horizontal stripes are covering the boob area, this is enough to generate the impression of boob enhancement and thus boost fap potential.

Note that the brightness of the colour white gives the illusion of volume increase by reflecting more light, therefore care should be taken to make sure that the top contains white stripes of a width equal to or thicker than the black stripes.

stripesJewelryEunjung

This picture looks good but the desired effect would be increased significantly with at least equal thickness white stripes.

stripessohee

Thicker white stripes on the other hand works quite well, although minimising the black stripes too much can also be a problem.  Sohee demonstrates the minimum amount of black stripes needed to still maintain a positive effect, any less black than this and the boob boosting effect is lost.

stripesbom

Bom's top here is sneakily designed to portray her boobs in the best possible light by thickening the white stripes specifically around the boob area.  Good work, Bom!  Next time please get your hands and arms out of the way so we can appreciate this inspired fashion choice more, thank you.

The right combinations of stripes in the right places can be very sexually suggestive.

stripesjiyeon

Jiyeon's amazing striped top is really just subliminal instructions on how to titfuck her - not that we need any.  The phallic necklace has no doubt been carefully chosen to add to the effect!

stripesjiyeon2

We don't want to go too crazy with details though.  Stripes have the effect of "leading" the eye, so it's important to not create too much confusion by leading it in too many directions at once.

stripedbaekahyeon

This top gets bonus points for not only being striped but also promoting cleavage, however the jagged knit patterns make the contours a little harder to follow than they would otherwise be.

It's difficult to know where to look in the following photograph.

stripestahiti

Too much detail can be off-putting and can distract fap because the eye doesn't know in which direction it's being led and becomes confused.

stripesmisss

For group shots, straightforward horizontal lines with not too many conflicting directions and patterns is best.

Now that we've got the basics down, here some more examples of people doing it right.

stripessulli

Everyone's favourite cao ni ma is as sick of netizen bullshit right now as the next rational person, but she's not sick of wearing striped dresses that give her form some welcome volume.  Just as well for the rest of us!

stripesseohyun

Seohyun knows how to rock a striped top and like Sulli she also has her purse on standby just in case she needs to speed-dial security to usher out any losers not worthy of observing this hotness.

stripesway

I'd pop my crayons all over this great striped top given the opportunity.  Don't tell her I said that, I don't have the money to hire a bomb disposal expert to defuse the C4 she'd probably get one of her minions to attach to my car.

stripeszinger

Zinger might not be my fave in Secret but she knows how to work with what she's got.  On top of the stripes, super-sized accessorising is a good way to bring extra attention to important areas.

stripesnana

Nana is known for not being particularly busty but her extra volume in this striped top meant that even Son Dambi couldn't resist going for the grope.  Look how happy she is about molesting Nana.

stripesdavichi

This photo of Davichi isn't great quality sadly and it's also not a great pose for perving but it's the best striped-top photo that I could find.  Hopefully some avid researcher will turn up more photos of Minkyung in this clothing and the fapgods will smile warmly.

I'll leave you now with this great CF featuring Raina, that I've posted before but here it is again anyway because it's relevant to the topic at hand.


Hopefully you've all learned something from this post, whether it be how to dress to present maximum boob volume with casual clothes, what to buy your girlfriend as a clothing gift, or just what a colossal pervert Kpopalypse is.  In any event I hope you've been entertained, and let me know what you'd like to see next on Kpopalypse fashion class!

stripeseunjung2

27 comments:

  1. I know what pictures of Soyeon to fap to next.

    http://www.hdtabletwallpapers.com/var/albums/Sweet-Korean-girl-T-ara-member-Park-So-Yeon-wallpapers-1024x1024/Sweet%20Korean%20girl%20T-ara%20member%20Park%20So%20Yeon%20wallpapers%201024x1024%20(16).jpg?m=1374119312

    http://www.soompi.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/soyeon.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Soyeon meets required standards!

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    2. http://scontent-b-sea.cdninstagram.com/hphotos-xpa1/t51.2885-15/925016_803466583019478_1248423434_n.jpg.

      Sadly Soyeon hasn't gotten the memo about the too thick of stripes. She has one nice fitting stripped top that she often posts on her instagram, but I think she's afraid of doing a full bodyshot or something, fucking tease. NOW SHE'S TROLLING THE PERVS.

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    3. It's too loose-fitting as well.

      Delete
  2. I hope you guys never stop posting Eunjung pictures. She always looks amazing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I reckon I post enough Eunjung pictures for all the other authors combined.

      Delete
  3. Now I know why I get stared at whenever I wear black and white horizontal stripes O_O lol. [Insert the Most You Know Music Here.]
    Also...
    *Cries Tears of Joy Because You Linked My Post* :-'D.

    Kpopalypse is the best apocalypse to have ever been apacoplypsed. If that makes sense...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Although this is primarily a fap post, I'm glad that the white-coater approach is appreciated!

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    2. Education in a fap post is always appreciated. If this type of mentality was applied in certain schools maybe more kids would go *just talking about where I'm from.* Then again, it could wind up in disaster so who knows.

      Delete
  4. I don't seen an improvement in the b/w version of the second image. I also thought that was Choa for a second...

    Boobs are so damn great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well there isn't much and it's because of the point I talk about after.

      Delete
  5. I also heard when guys wear black and white stripes clothing (or stripes in general), it would make them look buffer or having more broad shoulders too, I honestly have no idea if this is true.

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    Replies
    1. It is, but if you're a really weedy dude it may just accentuate your weediness instead.

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  6. This makes next to no difference. The only girl that looks a little bit busty is the one in the sweater with the piano, and that's probably mostly because the sweater is also low cut and is thicker so it "pads" the boobs some.

    Personally I don't like horizontal stripes because they are seriously ugly. Especially the full on dresses of black and white stripes, what an eyesore. Vertical stripes or preferably no stripes at all, please.

    ReplyDelete
  7. move over style websites, kpopalypse oppar has got the real deal

    (everything i've read about style has said that black clothes with thin and widely spaced white stripes are the best for accentuating your figure, but i guess most idols can ignore that rule because they all have great bodies to begin with)

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  8. "it's also not a great pose for perving " Two asian girls eating cum and liking their fingers afterwards, a scene we all wish we'd never seen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes but the vision of their boobs isn't great in that photo. Hopefully there's more pics from that set somewhere.

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  9. This plays well with all my prison fantasies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could be prison "realities" soon. Bom's getting some style practice in.

      Delete
  10. http://gfycat.com/PleasingAccomplishedAcornbarnacle

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    Replies
    1. Jimin is padding hardcore but I appreciate the effort. Why red, though. She needs to read this.

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  11. It looks like Kpopalypse and I have the same taste in terms of women's body type. Great article! Also, it looks like you're covering all topics around K-pop. Cool!

    Now for your next fashion article, can you please scientifically explain how these clothes emphasize the boobs and how this effect compares to the horizontal stripes?

    http://31.media.tumblr.com/00adb608ad4db341be6f66e2bd7a309d/tumblr_n6mdfvcPmg1smljmjo1_500.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  12. "Firstly, black and white are the colours to use. Accept no substitutes."

    What about this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WGoN-YEKvw
    Surely we can make an exception for blue...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blue is good but black would have been better

      Delete