Wednesday, July 9, 2014

[Review] Hyomin - Nice Body



Hyomin released many teasers for Nice Body and luckily that was all she did. She simply wanted to remind all of us of Jiyeon's Nice Body, which the Cyclops Overlord displays in her live performances. Hyomin is so nice for drawing extra attention to Jiyeon's excellent 1 Minute 1 Second.






Unfortunately, that alternate reality doesn't exist (or I simply don't exist in that alternate reality.) Hyomin actually did release Nice Body, and well...it sucks. I've been putting off the review because I didn't want to listen to this song ever again.

I don't know what the bigger offense it: the 2NE1-inspired styling or the monotone beat composed by Brave Brothers. It's like deciding between what is worse between licking Shindong's asshole after he had explosive diarrhea or having sex with that chick from Akdong Musician without being able to put a paper bag over her head.

The beat in Nice Body is really uninspired, just like 99% of the songs Brave Brothers composes. It repeats itself ad nauseam, and refuses to change into anything interesting. Even the bridges of the song don't sound much different than the rest of the song. I wonder if Brave Brothers took a dump before composing this song and composed the song based on the rhythm that the turds were dropping out of his ass into the water below. "Plop...plop..." That's the whole fucking song.

So, the song is awful, but can the MV save it? Hell no. Hyomin sports a fashion style that only a 2NE1 stan could love. So, if you want to admire someone's nice body, you may as well skip this MV altogether and watch Jiyeon's cuts from the drama Triangle instead.




39 comments:

  1. I just don't know how you guys can fap to Hyo "horse face" min

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    1. I take it you've never seen her ass then.

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    2. I really wonder if people like you even know what a horse face is. THIS is a horse face.

      http://theconservativetreehouse.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/sarah-jessica-parker-horseface-e1339713863225.jpg?w=179&h=262

      Really long and really ugly. Hyomin doesn't even come close to horse face.

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  2. all the anti t-ara stans still dream of hittin' that

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  3. That song had a strange effect on me.. I've read so many negative reviews about it, that in the end I felt disappointed, because it didn't seem THAT bad. It was like the opposite of over hyping a song.

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    1. I've noticed it, too. Lower expectations yield less disappointment!

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    2. when i was listening to it without subs i thought "okay, mediocre, mediocre, ew panty line, mediocre, why is her makeup so terrible, mediocre" then i noticed the triggerfest lyrics and basically i hope this is the last song brave ever makes because god damn. everything about this production was so.......lazy

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    3. Ew panty line ? Triggerfest... ?
      This isn't tumblr.

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    4. oh dear my phrasing doesn't please somebody on the internet

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  4. Replies
    1. And AKMU too. Lawl, YG represent! ;)

      If I pretend I don't know the lyrics I really don't think the song is that bad. It's just very....vanilla which is not something I'm into but, there's definitely a community for that.

      But then you look up a translation of what she's saying and watch the MV and the whole thing is far more ruined than it already was. Though, I guess there's a community for that too unfortunately.

      P.S. "that chick from Akdong Musician" turned 15 two months ago.

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  5. Personally, I think Hyomin looks smoking hot in this video. It's too bad that fat male rapper gets so much camera time. Why do so many of these female k-pop videos feature fat ugly guys, who'd probably date rape these girls if they weren't idols?

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  6. Its a throwback yall to ten years ago when they need male rappers to act all american like

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  7. The style reminded me more of Miley than 2ne1.

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    1. I think it would be better if it was more 2NE1 than Miley.

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    2. You could totally put this video on mute and play Miley Cyrus- 23 or vice versa

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    3. i thought hyomin's teasers had a lot of 2ne1's flavour but DONE RIGHT FOR ONCE. if the concept through the video had been anything like them, it would have saved this at least a bit. they went with the 23 style, but they didn't even take it half as far as miley did????

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    4. except miley's songs are much better

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  8. "or having sex with that chick from Akdong Musician without being able to put a paper bag over her head."

    Does this option include being convicted of statutory rape?

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  9. Both two of solos have been disappointing so far, plus Hyomin look anorexic (anosexy for some of you). When I knew BB was going to make the song, I immediately drop all my hopes towards the song.

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    1. What didn't you like about Jiyeon's solo? I thought she looked sexy and the song wasn't terrible. Hyomin looked like she went dumpster diving for her clothes at a good will.

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    2. Not to mention, that hair style and color was atrocious. Nice body, but not a nice song.

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    3. that's one thing that confused me though- a lot of people have been saying that she looked too skinny this comeback cycle, but didn't she always look like this?

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  10. as a new convert to the cult of the cyclops goddess, i can't seem to stop noticing that the way she moves her mouth is a little..like she's in pain? when she sings, she twitches her face awkwardly like she has an itch on her nose and even when i saw her on weekly idol she often didn't open quite open her mouth when she spoke. i don't know why i find this so distracting, but is it just how she is?

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    Replies
    1. The song's concept is about her being in eternal pain or some shit, so she had to perform like that. Plus she has a small mouth, and the song didn't have any vocal wailing, so she didn't need to open her mouth as much to sing.

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    2. yeah the whole fragile-and-insane concept is part of why i love the whole thing so much and i considered that that was why, but i just thought it was a really odd way of expressing *emotional* pain because it looks more like she's annoyed at a fly near her face that she can't quite swat, which is why i thought that it might just be a mannerism of hers .-.

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  12. I pretty much agree on both counts. The styling was especially bad though. I get that they were going for something resembling sports wear, but that was the wrong choice. And the hair...come on. Majority of men find long hair sexy, so why chop it off and fry the shit out of it? Jesus CCM has bad taste.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, the song did have a good message though, but that's it's only redeeming quality.

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  13. Any good songs in the past 1-2 months? AKF and gang hardly seem to like any new songs that came up recently and i have a lot of catching up to do on current releases...but seeing their comments on new songs and all, kinda makes me wanna wait for good songs

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    Replies
    1. f(x) Red Light and any song on the album.

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    2. >f(x) Red Light

      LOL no just no. The song made me wanna kill myself more than the time I listened to Everybody

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    3. Ha! Red Light is god awful. Nice Body isn't nearly that bad either.AKF with the horrible taste in music over here.

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  14. Did they film this in between visits to the ER? The "nice body" concept can't be sold when she looks like she's sick enough to pass out and become an unintentional drowning statistic. Song is tolerable if I feel like taking a nap.

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    1. Fat girls, pls go. No one cares how insecure you are about your own weight.

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    2. I'm male but I guess I forgot to jack it off to the latest diet trend / make-up shit stain that appears to be going on here, but nice try sport.

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