Sunday, December 20, 2015

Sunday Shitpost #3

Welcome to Sunday Shitpost, the series you read during the extremely long commercial breaks in football games or when you're having a painful bout of diarrhea and need something to laugh at while your asshole is screaming in pain.

News Story #1: Jessica and Kris meet up at some Chinese variety show

Laugh it off and rub it in to your former group mates.
The main reason I even read the article was for Sica's selca.

This is for Kpopalypse: Sica's selca is so supremely sweet and she needs to suck my schlong and swallow my salty semen.

News Story #2: Hyunyoung and Jaekyung make our penises hard and erect

I don't have to write shit.

News Story #3: April releases teaser for Snowman

At this rate, April will end up on my shitlist.

News Story #4: Shinhwa's Eric claims that no one else should be allowed to use the color orange

Dude, you're 35, get the fuck over it. Most of your fans are over 30. Who gives a fuck if iKon is using orange? There are only so many colors for fanbases to use.

News Story #5: iKon to release double title skid marks for their debut album

iKon's music is the equivalent of someone blasting their diarrhea shits all over you.

Last, but certainly not least,

News Story #6: Amber to release another solo album

Her last one wasn't bad enough?

This is me listening to Amber's shitty songs from this year.


  1. Meets required alliteration standards

  2. Do you read that Shinhwa dude statement? "Nobody can claim to own any color, but don't use orange." Way to contradict yourself.

    1. That makes it even more hilarious.

  3. On another note, now that we know who's boning Hyunyoung every night, I'm curious about the guy who gets to motorboat Jaekyung all the time. Damn lucky bastards.

  4. I never understood the obsession with fandom colors. There are about a dozen variations of pearlescent/pastel/baby/light/aqua/metallic/pearl/sparkling whatever-the-fuck blue, and they're all doing fine. Anyways, guess it's time for me to revisit Rainbow Blaxx.

  5. All the fangirls defending Eric are absolutely ignorant. I just lost brain cells reading their comments.

  6. I literally laughed out loud at your edit of Jaejoong.

  7. I literally laughed out loud at your edit of Jaejoong.

  8. If anyone's interested, Kim Hyun Joon's DNA is confirmed to be the same of his ex-girlfriend's child, but I highly doubt anyone on this site thought otherwise

    1. I always give the man the benefit of the doubt. You can never trust women in these situations -- have you never seen the Maury show?

    2. Usually I would to, but the overwhelming support he's been given from netizens causes me to doubt the legitimacy of his claims