Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Why, Luhan, Why

So this happened recently:

Okay, what is it with all these EXO graduates releasing yoloswag bullshit these days? What the fuck has SM been feeding these guys? I thought Luhan would actually go somewhere with his solo career since he's the only one who can actually sing, but then "That Good Good" happened. But you know what, I still had hope in him. I thought, "Maybe it's just a phase." Like that little phase of victory you have when you take a really epic dump, and you feel like you just lost 10kg. Maybe that's what he felt when the burden of being an SM idol was off his shoulders. Maybe. But just when we thought things couldn't get any worse, along came "Lu" to prove us wrong.

Lesson: There's no limit to how bad music can get. Keep your expectations low to the ground so you don't feel too disappointed later.

My (100% legit) reaction basically:

The moment he started with those "OOHs"

"Better get a holo, I'mma make that flower bloom"

"Bend that body like gymnast."

"Yeah, the deer be everywhere, everybody scared. Run and say your prayers."

"Come at me I'll press you like some juice." 

In summary: 
  • These lyrics are ridiculous. 
  • Luhan, you can't rap. I repeat: YOU CAN'T RAP.  
  • I googled "holo." It's not a word. 
  • Also, just so you know, that's his cum shooting all over the screen. You're welcome. 
Bottom line: Cool beat, I guess. And, surprisingly enough, his English is half decent. Everything else: no. Just ... no.


  1. The beat sounds like a DJ Mustard reject.

  2. The beat sounds like a DJ Mustard reject.

  3. The only thing worse than EXO are it's former members.

  4. This is a special kind of terrible.

  5. What pisses me off most is that the beat and the video are pretty sweet. But they're sullied by the "rapping" and the just awful lyrics.

  6. I laughed so much, i bought the track.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. This reminds me of drakes stuff. So much YOLOtrapswag bullshit. It's just… a bore, really. An unintentionally hilarious, engrishy bore.

  9. This was created under the influence of dank.

  10. It's funny because even the fangirls are going NOPE NOPE NOPE

  11. When he was doing the "OOH" shit, he sounded like some retarded cow wtf...

  12. Why didn't he hire ME to write lyrics for him???
    LA LA LALA LALALA LA LA, everybody now...