Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Tony Moly chooses JYJ to be their representatives

I didn't think they'd be getting any endorsements, but hey, they still do.

At their press conference, an AKF reporter asked "Why JYJ?" Tony Moly's representative then stated:

Our former endorsers T-ara image didn't quite fit in with our new promotional strategies. We needed an image change, so we chose JYJ. We thought JYJ could help us expand overseas and into new markets.

First, we want to market to males. We want to tap into the homosexual market, and the best way to do so is by using Junsu. Damn, he looks the part. We originally wanted to use Jo Kwon as our new endorser, but no one gives a shit about him in the rest of Asia, so Junsu was the next best choice.

Secondly, we wanted to market to wife beaters. Yoochun and Jaejoong are known for beating the shit out of their female fans, so it was a perfect fit. If the husband/boyfriend beats the shit out of his wife/girlfriend, our makeup can cover up the bruises and it will look like domestic abuse never happened.

That is why we couldn't use T-ara anymore. Makeup can't cover up the effects of bullying, but it sure works wonders for domestic abuse.

Dumbfounded, the AKF reporter asked why their new promotional strategy seemed so insensitive. A moment later, the PR manager walked onto the stage and it was none other than...

Kim Kwang Soo?! Yes, and this is what he had to say:

I'm a fucking genius. No one else has thought of this marketing strategy before. You may ask why I removed my own group from endorsing Tony Moly, but hey, I have the Midas Touch. I'll end up making more money through this shit. If you don't agree with me, I'll sue your ass.


  1. That last paragraph was beautiful
    That sums up what KKS would do in fact it should be a new slogan

    Who Would Kim Kwang Soo Sue?

    WWKKSS gonna make braclets and spread the word. He is truly the anti-kpop christ next to Yang Hyun Suk

  2. Fuck JYJ I hate them more than Jessica, Jungmin, Kim Hyun Joong, Jonghyun, Yuri, and Hyomin, mixed together. I hope they die

    Heh JK, I want them to gtfo and lose the lawsuit to SM. Fucking wusses don't even show up to court.

    1. SM keeps dragging this out
      Snap my fingers at you

  3. Actually, they replaced T-ara with the fiery hot Min Hyo Rin.

    JYJ's addition is probably to boost overseas sales. Tony Moly aint got shit on Face Shop and Etude House's endorsers.

    1. the one with the seohyun face on it is great, i bought a metric shit ton of stuff from it which got confiscated at customs

      apparently snail jizz is a controlled substance

    2. I cant even imagine how snail jizz would look, feel, taste and smell like.

  4. I still think the middle one is funny looking.

  5. Why do they look like doctors?

  6. did anyone watch the new SPICA MV?


    ps. id fuck the shit out of jiwon

  7. Yoochun looks like he's aged by half a decade and Junsu eerily looks like a tranny.

  8. KKS and JYJ? Child abuse incoming.

  9. I laugh too much and wtf jaejong you look like vampire...(the sparkle one)

  10. Jesus christ, Yoochun looks older than my grandpa. I guess getting a little more money and sleeping just 1/2 hour more than they used to do in SM didn't help at all!

  11. That t-shirt with the SMILE face is actually the face of KKS

  12. Junsu looks like blond Amber
    Jaejoong looks like a cracked out alien
    Yoochun looks about 45

    gj tony moly, i refuse to evar buy your bb cream nao.