Friday, December 30, 2011

A recap of SBS's Gayo Daejun.

Just my thoughts on one of the end-of-the-year shows.

SBS/KBS/MBC whatever the fuck no1curr, look it's Hyorin's panties.


Well, I'll start with 'the best'.

2NE1

As a dedicated member of the "I-really-don't-give-a-fuck-about-2NE1" club, I generally don't watch 2NE1-related videos, and I certainly don't praise them. But damn, this intro is eerie and startlingly good. Well it was, until they started performing and I saw their faces. That was when I went 'SOMEONE GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS ROOM' and made sure to un-fullscreen. Here's what I thought of each member. CL was obnoxious (in every conceivable way) and was (unfortunately) given 90% of the parts. God knows why her fans think she is good at singing, she's blares like a fucking foghorn. Minzy is by far the best looking member, but she gets the least screentime, and humps the floor or shakes her ass enthusiastically in every performance I've ever seen of her. She doesn't disappoint. Bom still looks like a dumb plastic hoe, but I like how slutty she looks in her dress. Although I have noticed that she always dresses like that. If you're wondering, she hasn't improved much live. But Dara has. Oh Dara. You've shown much progress, coming up from a 'shittier-than-Hara' vocal level all the way to 'merely shitty'.. Congratulations! Also, her annoying expressions managed to be more amusing than annoying this time, so that was a bonus.

Though the performance may have been energetic and exciting to some, I believe the purpose of music, performing, ect. to be entertainment (correct me if I'm wrong), and seeing four mediocre idols pull off a mediocre stage is certainly not entertainment to me. I'm sorry boys, but that was a 5/10.

KARA

Oh goodie. My favorite girl group. They all looked fabulous. Gyuri with her see-through blouse that sparks the imagination and helps form a template with which we can fill in the blanks and fap to at night, hoping that our parents are asl- ahem. Jiyoung looked as cute as a button (it's Jiyoung after all), and still managed to look sexy, showing off her fabulous legs. Nicole, whatever. Seungyeon was as fuckable as ever, and even Hara managed to look like she actually had a rack (someone has been raiding Sica's wardrobe, icu Hara). And don't get me started on that funky, old-school beat that they had playing for their dance intro, made me wanna shake my ass like Nicole. The choreography was sexy too, bravo girls! 10/10.

Unfortunately, they did end up singing. Which means I'm going to have to deduct a couple points. Overall score: 6/10.


SNSD

Predictably, this was the biggest joke of the show (although I'm sure Super Junior managed to fuck their shit up even more). Tiffany finger-synced (???) her flute, and managed to fool a grand total of: no one. The girls then performed Shinhwa's 'T.O.P.'. Again (They've performed it multiple times at other award shows in the past). I suppose they're allowed to show complacency now that they've reached the top and have an army of fans that'll support them through thick and thicker, but a little effort would be endearing girls. Being one of their simpler dance routines (coming from SNSD, that means it's really fucking simple. I'm talking T-ara level.), and the fact that I'd already seen it multiple times managed to make it a very yawn-inducing perf. Luckily, it was short, and Taeyeon appeared with a solo stage in tight, sexy, black leather. (insert gif of black man ejaculating). She sang convincingly too. However, the solo stage was plagued by some ridiculous vocal effect that made it sound like she was lip-syncing (never a good thing), and the corny rock act was just embarrassing.

So while parts of Taeyeon's stage were interesting, the overall thing was boring. And before anybody asks, no, I didn't watch their performance of The Boys. It's really a shitty song. 3.5/10.


miss A


JYP remixes are always fun (although somehow 2PM and Wonder Girls managed to have some of the most boring perfs this time around), and this one is no exception. The girls incorporated some dubstep-esque elements and more of that wonderful head-banging, which combined their fierce, powerful, (insert other adjectives that fangirls love) outfits created an electric (and humorous, due to the head-banging) atmosphere. Although the makeup did fuck up their faces (especially poor Jia), Suzy still looked great and stood out above the rest. As always. And since the only important member of miss A looked fabulous, I'd call this a success (not to be biased, but miss A consistently proves themselves more talented than other girl groups, so I don't bother talking about their actual talent). My only real complaint was Suzy smiling throughout the entire thing. Girl needs to take her sexiness to the next level, and that starts with developing a proper bitchface. 7.5/10.

Various chicks

This was a complete mess, and what the bloody hell was G.NA doing here? Regardless, this right here is what I love about these end of they year shows. Girls of different ages and groups gathering together to join on one stage and whore themselves out in the spirit of Christmas! Gain was the nicest to watch, she really is great when she's not being a hag, although she literally had a liter of vegetable oil spread on her legs. Jiyeon looked great (gasp), and Sunhwa would have been great, if she had gotten any screentime, but I guess Secret is still a no-name group when pitted against the likes of T-ara, miss A and BEG. Once again, what the fuck was G.NA doing here? Still, I enjoyed this enough to rate it a 8/10.

Other performances which I opted not to write about:
IU - You & I was as great as ever; IU is the paragon of consistency, but it was nothing out of the ordinary. Well, for kpop, yes; for her, no. She also performed with Yoseob the monkey.
Sistar - I don't know. I suppose it would have been pretty hot if Hyorin didn't irritate me so much.
Secret - Sunhwa looks fucking awesome these days. Don't remember much about the actual perf itself, unfortunately.
4minute - Really? They're still functioning as a group?
Wonder Girls - Boring. I miss the days when their stages were something to look forward to.
2PM - The only boyband performance I watched, god knows why. Yes, I was disappointed (this is fucking 2PM we're talking about). The entire performance was completely devoid of energy. Apparently the audience thought so as well, as they were close to silent throughout.
T-ara - I didn't think the remix was as bad as everybody was saying. It's a shame they were lip-syncing. Not that I expected any better.
EXO - The actual members performed for like 10 seconds, so there's not much to say. I'd smang Victoria though.

40 comments:

  1. GNA > Sunhwa by a country mile. In fact wtf why was jiyeon and sunhwa even in that dance?

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  2. In that Miss A performance, Min was dancing her ass off. I have a feeling girl could outdance most of these idols tbh, who knew?

    Apart from Infinite (I'm surprised that they are actually good and I like them after yesterday's show... they don't deserve to be treated like shit, SM was probably pissed that they outperformed exo tbh and cockblocked~ conspiracy) Miss A Secret's Remix the show sucked.

    The worst was that fail rap stage though, Taecyeon's screaming... I think SBS actually saved Hoya by giving him a bad mic tbh, at least he can say he did nothing to contribute to that fail and stayed classy with Gary and T.

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  3. 2ne1, that's my girls. No matter how fucking horrible you wrote about them, I always adore them.
    Haters to the left..

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  4. Are you kidding me....2PM had the place jumping. Wow. I see you didn't show their video. Lol, pathetic.

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  5. 2pm sucks. Period.

    Also, the run the world mix woulda been good if the better dances were the centerpiece. HyunA pulled off all the moves fucking beautifully and so did G.na (idek why but hey she did) and Hyorin. Shoulda kept them with the camera. Gain, as much as I love her, forgot her moves at one point and she was the front! Bah!

    Also, I watched that SM dance whatever and I was freaking out because I thought Taemin kept swapping outfits and hairstyles... WTF THAT EXO GUY LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE HIM WTF WTF WTF WTF.

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  6. fei stood out for me during the Run the world perf

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  7. Dara, contrary to popular beliefs, is not one of the shitty singers people make her out to be. She has a sweet tone and the largest range (E3-G5), so if she ever received training being soprano oriented, she can actually become a hella good singer, meaning, main vocal level. FYI I'm not even a stan. CL's decent too, she just needs to work on her higher register.

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  8. Suzy is a fat whore.

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  9. the hyorin pic is from the kbs one, not sbs

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  10. who cares about SBS or KBS... just watch hyorin ass

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  11. I dont care about anything on the show, except for Hyorins beautiful ass......UNFF

    look at the muscle in them legs, she can probably out sprint me!!! And thats sexy in itself to me :P

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  12. Really though, G.Na had absolutely no relevance in that girl group special stage. If she'd have shown off her rack a little more, probably would've gathered a little more attention. The perf was a mess.

    Hara's outfit made me snort. Seungyeon looked gorgeous.

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  13. Please photoshop Hyorin's face with someone else's face. Please.

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  14. None of my articles are left alone these days..

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  15. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnMcymTR7As

    you guys have to read the comment here, they are fucking hillarious

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  16. Hyorin's ass...gawd damn

    but I agree with akfg....DAT FACE!?

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  17. dat ass <3
    dat face on the other hand...reminds me of the facial expressions that dr. seuss characters make.

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  18. i thought kara did well :P :P definitely something new

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  19. Worst gayo daejun ever.

    Surprised that miss A got good reviews on this site, since they sounded out of breath and couldn't bring themselves to sing the three notes that make up "Goodbye Baby". Wonder Girls were terrible as well. No words for the amount of WTF that came flowing out of my eyes during SNSD's performance...

    The only highlight of the night was that we got to see panties. Too bad it was butterface-Hyorin. Girl can sing and dance, but damn her face is weird.

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  20. the pledis shuffling was the best thing there

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  21. Fuck the haters. The Cry Cry remix was dope.

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  22. Suzy is a fat whore.

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  23. i saw a fangirl (i'm assuming, could be a boy) on tumblr complaining that G.NA was the best dancer but was sadly in the back the whole time. i'm 95% sure it wasn;t satirical

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  24. This year's Gayo Daejun kinda disappointed me. Last year, they had a theme with cooler sets and pretty cool collaboration perfs, but this year's was kinda boring. I didn't even bother loading the stream to watch.

    I'd have to admit that the Run The World (Girls) stage was quite cool, at least Ga-in was in the center for once, and Fei did pretty well too. But still.... why is Hyena there??

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  25. Hyorin wants to be whore like suzy

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  26. there are cleary a couple of problems to the hyorin face problem.

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx0z77eoJt1qbi3a3.jpg

    http://i.imgur.com/m8I09.jpg

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  27. ^i mean solutions. :p

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  28. no After School and Pledis Boys?? they are dope

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  29. I don't give a fuck whether Taeyeon was singing live or not, that was so fucking boring. Even Changmin couldn't save it.

    Pop fans really have no clue what rock is OTL
    how could anybody praise that.

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  30. that part when missA started doing that dubstep part
    and they were flinging their bodies back and forth made me laugh

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  31. So many low ass quality performances this year, someone needs to upload in HD.

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  32. ^ hyorin's ass was in hi def. man i just fapped blood to that shiz

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  33. Problem with CL is that she shouts. I hate that. Otherwise, 2NE1 are a pretty good team to me.

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  34. There ain't a woman in KPOP that can outslut HyenA. Her two second booty drop owned that entire performance. Hyorin has some fucking GORGEOUS legs. KARA are quickly becoming one of my favorite female groups. I like the fact that they don't try to be uber slutty, badass, or over do it with the cuteness like other groups. Plus they are so very pretty; especially Gyuri.

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  35. Could not agree more. 2NE1 and KARA were just fucked up...No girls in those two mediocre groups can compare to SECRET. Tragic, but true.

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  36. EW Those irrelevant, obese bitches in Secret should never be compared to 2NE1 or KARA.

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  37. So Kara & JYP artist is the best then?

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  38. All Kara members are fuckable! at least in your imagination

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