Thursday, December 8, 2011

Why won't anyone love me?

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Moon Hee Jun, back in November, announced that the only way he could score his first kiss was through date rape. No, I don't mean he took some girl out to a fancy dinner to only fancy himself to a dinner of her, I mean like a girl wanted him. Crazy, I know. This is what he looks like:





On OBS‘s Kim Gura and Moon Hee Jun’s Gossip Girl (some sort of Korean version of the North American teen drama where everyone sleeps with each other) [no, not actually], Moon Hee Jun announced that “Mine took place on a college trip after I passed out from drinking too much makgeoli [Korean rice wine]. I felt something cold on my face and I woke up to a senior who had her lips on mine.”

I guess stories like this gives hope to many... less-than-skilled-in-the-looks-department-boys. This man pulled a Hyori.

Note: Pulling "a Hyori" means either:
1) Being a super hot girl dating a questionable male in order to always stay the "better looking one" in the relationship.
2) Being a male who looks like he would Forever be Alone, but somehow gets the hottest girl you could imagine, then shows her off to everyone who bullied him in highschool.

It seems that singer G.NA stumbled upon said story and decided to announce on MBC's Weekly Idol that she has a very low tolerance for alcohol, setting her-self up for date-rapes.


She even went on to announce that: “My tolerance level is [that] I can drink exactly 3 shots of fruit wine… If I drink more than that, I become a drunk fruit wine lady”, specifying how much a boy has to get her drunk before he can kiss her against her will.


Sources: A TV show no one watches and G.NA's tear-filled diary. Found under date December 1, 2011. Title: WHY WON'T ANYONE LOVE MEEEE!?!? WHY CAN I ONLY GO ON DATES WITH MY MOM!?!?
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18 comments:

  1. CombatBabyDecember 8, 2011 at 11:15 AM

    Poor Poon, don't become the fangirl who concerns herself with the social lives of these disgusting celebs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousDecember 8, 2011 at 11:55 AM

    He comes from H.O.T. anyways who were all fug except for Woohyuk and Kangta so I'm not even surprised.

    As for G.Na, I love you girl but you lately have come across as desperate and you are too young to be using that much botox... your face looks like it belongs in a horror film.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ShinbiDecember 8, 2011 at 12:19 PM

    @ CombatBaby: I promise I won't ;___; haha I don't even watch these shows. I just find articles about them. Which I hate. So much more important things to do than write about what celebrities say/do. I only want articles about new music. But then again, I'm being a hypocrite writing about them! =P

    @ Anonymous 11:55am: Woah he was from H.O.T.? I guess I forgot. And I agree. I heart G.NA, but recently she has not been looking good.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousDecember 8, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    lol @ "a Hyori"

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  5. AnonymousDecember 8, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    HeeJun was definitely date-raped on that college trip. By a senior, too. Damn.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousDecember 8, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    man...what's up with GNA's face? seriously she is starting to look like the michael jackson of kpop with fake boobs.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousDecember 8, 2011 at 2:52 PM

    ahahahahaha that gna face is priceless. it seems everytime she loses weight, she looks weirder and weirder. shame, since her boobs shrink too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousDecember 8, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    U can't date rape aliens

    That's unpossible

    ReplyDelete
  9. Nayeon's VibratorDecember 8, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    This is part of G.NA's trap. She wants someone to try kissing her while she's drunk in her human form. As soon as the dude'd lips locks hers, she'll stick her alien tongue into the guy's mouth and kill him.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousDecember 8, 2011 at 3:24 PM

    ^ lol. Sucking the life out of them boys.

    I think she's hot. Just not so much anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousDecember 8, 2011 at 6:39 PM

    "I guess stories like this gives hope to many... less-than-skilled-in-the-looks-department-boys. This man pulled a Hyori."

    Well for all you know, that senior who kissed him could be the ugliest looking piece of shit ever.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousDecember 9, 2011 at 12:44 AM

    Man that ugly ass piece of shit really puts the GNA in VAGINA... Lol

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  13. AnonymousDecember 9, 2011 at 5:19 AM

    That guy somehow looks like Janghyun from Sunny Hill..

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  14. AnonymousDecember 9, 2011 at 2:59 PM

    People need to stop taking rape so lightly. Grow the fuck up, are you 12 or something?
    fucking shithead.

    ReplyDelete
  15. davidfreshDecember 10, 2011 at 1:29 AM

    I love getting raped though!
    Oh wait, this is what you didn't want, right? Sorry. :<
    .
    .
    I love getting raped!

    But regarding Moon Heejun, I've actually found him to be a riot on variety shows, regardless of his infinitely fugly face. Actually, it honestly helps.

    ReplyDelete
  16. XissuomynonaDecember 10, 2011 at 1:38 AM

    Sorry, G.NA. Hyukjae is too classy for that stuff.


    //forever lolling at G.NA and Hyukjae's awkward intense post-breakup relationship.

    And Moon Heejun is fricking hilarious. He was the MC of Intimate Note and omg best show ever.

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousDecember 10, 2011 at 2:00 AM

    Shin-B, you've just posted the best article in a while. You deserve an award for this masterpiece.


    I'm serious.

    ReplyDelete
  18. ShinbiDecember 11, 2011 at 9:19 AM

    @ Anonymous 2:00am: Why, thank you. And I'm single ;)

    ReplyDelete

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