Saturday, December 31, 2011

What the fuck is a SJ Funky?

By listening to parts and bits of SJ songs (I don't think I could stand listening to one in its entirety), I was able to come up with a general idea. Bland synth loops, lots of autotune, and lots of repetition: I believe this is what they call SJ Funky. Almost sounds like Korean crunk (mad respect to my homedog Lil Jon though, well alright!) But anyways, inventing a non-existent genre to protect Super Junior's reputation (what's left of it anyways) from their shitty music is actually pretty fucking brilliant. SME strikes again.

P.S. I read the term for the first time today, so don't blame me if I'm a year late.

And in other news:

- Sunhwa has officially become the hottest member of Secret. No, not just because Hyosung is beginning to lose her appeal; Sunhwa has simply gotten a lot hotter. Watch out for this classy hoe in 2012.

- Jessica accidentally blinded a fan with her super-shiny forehead, who took the case to court and asked for $10,000 and a video of Sica sticking a cucumber up her ass as compensation. 
bitchface is back
- IU has taken a fancy towards dancing. Notably: shuffling. Which was cute the first time (actually, every time, she's fucking adorable), but really, I think she should just stick to singing.

And before you ask, no, Hara still can't sing. Why?

14 comments:

  1. you really hate Super Junior don't you.


    yeah they have the shittiest title tracks on earth, but their overall album is generally much better than most idol groups.

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  2. Most of SM's albums work in a certain way.
    Albums are made of an annoyingly catchy title track i.e your basic bitch hook song. Filler tracks that are 90% remakes of some generic European track or in some cases rejected demo tracks for Big guns in the US. SM stans will buy the album because of SM's lil bitch incentives : member card, glossy photo book to fap to. Or in deluxe editions to rip the fuck out of you : a poster or some other shit. Then you have another title track(upgraded compared to original album's title track) for the infamous repackage album.


    Ji Eun will forever be the only relevant bitch in Secret.

    I still prefer Sica's kitchen floor shine forehead over Nicole's map of Australia forehead tbh.

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  3. ^ LOL @ map of Australia

    I feel so much second-hand embarrassment whenever IU does the pop&lock or whatever it's called.. She should probably stop.

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  4. ^
    ^
    who care about nicole forehead? everyone is too occupy with that ass.

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  5. Dude, that IU video just made me fucking cringe. I want to go lie in bed for 3 days straight now.

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  6. WTF! Hyosung is still the hottest member in secret, dont care wat you say bittttttttch

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  7. did you actually listen to the songs in their albums?
    SJ funky refers to the main track.

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  8. Straight from the Youtube video of Mr. Simple on SMTOWN's website:

    "The title song, 'Mr. Simple', is a 'SJ FUNKY' song created for Super Junior only, and it can be considered as the final version of 'SJ FUNKY' following 'SORRY, SORRY' and 'BONAMANA' that became a worldwide hit."

    Go look if you don't believe me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6TwzSGYycM

    ROFL

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  9. gtfo from SJ already

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  10. SM is really talking about their special BO... as Asians know Koreans somehow has higher percentage of BO carriers than other, non-stinky East Asians (sorry non-East-Asians, it's true most of us has no BO), so this Funky thing must be talking about how they reek after a good serving of Mr. Simple.

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  11. IU CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS. WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE A GODDESS?

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  12. @10:04 i checked lol and ahahaha sm never fails to amaze me and whoah

    "The lyric describes the reality where modern people living in a complicated world failing to achieve what they intended to and losing their love and dreams without the breadth of mind in a simple way with humorous and metaphorical words, meaning "There is no need to take everything very serious. Simple and easy way can rather be a better choice for finding oneself" like the title, 'Mr. Simple.' <-wow i never knew mr. simple was deep.

    hahahahahhahahahaha

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  13. SM PRODUCED THE MOST WHORES...YES THAT INCLUDES THE GAY GUY GROUPS TOO!!!

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