Monday, February 13, 2012

[MV Review] SPEED - LoveyDovey+

SPEED debuts with Lovey Dovey+. Full review after the jump. (No lure this time. D: )




CCM's new boy band is a subunit comprised of the irrelevant male members of Co-Ed. CCM's grand plan to compete with the likes of BAP, EXO, and NU'EST (Holy shit these names are stupid),  is to have them debut with someone else's song. The official word calls it an "hommage" but we all know CCM probably couldn't be fucked to come up with a new song for them, having spent far too much on hush money.

The MV itself is a seizure-inducing, rapid fire sequence of cutaways of the dance and random close ups. Just like T-ara's I Go Crazy Because of You... Hmmmmmmmm. Being totally in black and white doesn't help the viewers' attempts not to burn out their retinas either. Oh and apparently Hyomin was partly responsible for the MV's terribadding, having dedicated a sleepless night to helping edit the damn thing.

Lovey Dovey+ is not just an over-glorified cover of someone else's song, oh no. It's not nearly as simple as that. Because SPEED apparently lacks vocalists, they cut out all the "vocally demanding" parts (and I say this with tongue firmly in cheek, cause everyone knows the original Lovey Dovey was not hard to sing at all), and stuck pretty shitty raps in instead. In addition to cutting up Lovey Dovey's body, SPEED decided to shit all over it too by splicing in Michael Jackson moves into the choreography(on record as the Billie Jean era, read: every iconic MJ move).

The King of Pop is rolling in his grave.
I will give them a bit of credit for modifying the original Lovey Dovey dance to be slightly more technical than  "Every Day We Shufflin" though.

Thankfully, CCM decided to throw in the Ryu Twins to save this horrible travesty of a song. However, even in outside of T-ara and being one of the main focal points in someone else's MV, Hwayoung still manages to get the shaft from life. The majority of screen time is given to Hyoyoung, from being in the dance shots to getting solo closeups. Hyoyoung even gets her own solo closeup version of Lovey Dovey+, and as of now, Hwayoung doesn't seem to be getting one herself.

Righteous.
The funniest thing about the whole deal is the crazy fangirl response to the MV(s).



 Key lulz I want to point out:
  1. People are criticizing the bad lipsyncing. Yes, it's a bad job, but the way they're going about it makes it seem as if they don't realize that ALL music videos are lipsyncing.
  2. They don't seem to realize that Hwayoung and Hyoyoung are just lipsyncing and don't actually sound like that.
  3. They don't seem to realize that the Ryu Twins are separate people.
  4. They think that the Ryu Twins are part of SPEED.
TL;DR:
Same shit, no nipslip. 

I give it a 2.5/5.




63 comments:

  1. This MV pretty much proves that Hyomin is indeed the biggest troll in CCM. She sacrificed ONE night of sleep in order to make a seizure inducing video to troll on us viewers. This is probably the single most dedicated act of trolling I've ever heard of.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hyomin already gives me seizures when I fap to her

      This is just 100% troll concentrate with pieces of pulp

      Delete
    2. Hyomin is a horse... why was she allowed near a computer?

      Just give her an apple and ride her into the night. Ney.

      Heehaw.

      Delete
    3. In North Korea, horse watches human porn!

      Delete
  2. I give this zero shits out of 10. Fail, bad, idiotic. Typical CCM song basically.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'd rather have Syoyeon in the mv.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. for a moment I thought you invented a completely new kpop star there...disappoint

      Delete
    2. Fapping too much to Hyoyeon again? Son, I am dissapoint.

      Delete
  4. Ryu twins be pimpin. Oppar wat do UNF

    Where's the Eunjung

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish Eunjung wasn't injured. The Ryu twins are hot and bouncy but they aren't the strongest dancers. :/

      Delete
    2. Doesnt matter had fap anyway

      Delete
  5. hwayoung has gotten a solo close up. how do you think the nipslip happened?

    ReplyDelete
  6. waiting on that hyoyoung nipple slip. make it happen!

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is the first time I couldn't raise a boner to a CCM mv

    KKS IS A FUCKIN PINOY

    ReplyDelete
  8. Replies
    1. Twins are everything I've ever dreamed of. Imagine the most powerful, mind-blowing, dick-busting orgasm you could possibly conceive of. Then multiply it by two.

      Then there was that nipple. I could feel my one-handed skill increasing as I charged my thunder stick with that vivid .gif still fresh in my mind. The feeling was indescribable when I added Hyoyoung's nipple in for good measure. Then suddenly my mom open the door, get on the floor, everyone walk the dinosaur

      Delete
  9. So wait, did Hyoyoung cut her fucking hair too?

    ReplyDelete
  10. where's hwayoung haha

    ReplyDelete
  11. Replies
    1. You misspelled Eunjung foo'.

      Delete
    2. Yoona > Eunjung

      COME AT ME MOTEHERFUCEKRRS

      Delete
    3. I'll cum on you motherfucker!February 14, 2012 at 6:47 AM

      You are delusional. That basic bitch ain't got nothing on Eunjung.

      Eunjunf is better than Yoona in literally every way, fuck off.

      Eunjung >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Yoona

      End of discussion.

      Delete
    4. Oh, oh! I'll play!

      http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzd6h56KOm1r3vzedo1_500.jpg

      UNF!

      Delete
    5. Eunjung FTW hands and penises down!

      Delete
    6. Hounoes the eunjunf stans are here! HIDE YO WIFE HIDE YO KIDZ

      Delete
  12. I nominate Hyomin for the Golden Globe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But hyomin already has golden globes

      Delete
    2. Wtf, really?

      Hyomin currently has the body of thirteen year boy. Even in her fuller/sexier/IGCBOY of you days she was flat chested as shit lol

      Don't let the padding fool ya~

      Delete
    3. Truth hurts bitch :/

      If you want some real golden globes watch Hwayoung giggle

      Delete
    4. links or it never happened

      Delete
  13. SPEED is like a detergent brand

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now u know it is a deterrent band lmao

      Delete
    2. SPEED is a pinoy detergent brand. true story

      Delete
    3. holy fuck hahaha he wasn't lying!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNGw04hvErk

      LOL

      Delete
    4. What the actual fuck

      Delete
    5. But what do Pinoys need detergent for?I think all Pinoys are born germ resistant.

      Delete
  14. Hyomin I hate to say this but I liked you better when you induced orgasms not photosensitive seizures

    ReplyDelete
  15. "Hwayoung still manages to get the shaft from life"

    Damn right I gave her the shaft. She felt good and tight.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Good job, Hyomin. Now, you're officially the Queen of troll in K-Pop world. Keep trolling because I love to see fangirls' eyes ball burst after watching the MV that you edit. KKS must be really proud now since he have the successor to keep trolling after he die and Cha Eun Taek can die in peace now because he get an apprentice to keep torture viewers eyes with flashing, rapid change of frame MV.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I thought that the J-pop group SPEED was on allkpop when I first saw this... J-pop SPEED >>>>>>> K-pop SPEED

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah it's a whole trolling thing using the same name LOL a lot of people will go and say 'this is not SPEED' because SPEED are Hiroko, Eriko, Takako and Hitoe. It would've been OK if SPEED were a fail of a group, but on the 1990's were one of the #1 Asian girl groups, and despite disbanding, they came back together and still are treated as legends, even if they don't sell like that anymore LOL. They're still pretty popular and J-Pop International fans do know them, which will cause more than one awkward situation for sure.

      Delete
  18. Did I just ignored how stupid their name is? O_O

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dunno, but you definitely ignored ordinary grammar.

      Delete
  19. ROFL it got me really dizzy ROFL

    ReplyDelete
  20. t-ara didn't have enough versions of the mv, so they needed another group to make them

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL at first I thought it was another version of Lovey Dovey, by T-ara. I saw speed, and I was wondering, is it a sped-up version? Lol I want to hear that.

      Delete
  21. HwaYoung and HyoYoung? What a fucking lie. All I saw was Hwayoung..

    ReplyDelete
  22. This isnt their debut song though. Thats not till March.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I have the feeling someone wants their group to be like Infinite...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Heh, at least no one in Infinite is a rapist NIGGA.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Needs moar DUBStep. Check 'em

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can't find number. Rolling again. BTW samefag here

      Delete
    2. Show me your triforce first newfag

      Delete
  26. "Holy shit these names are stupid"

    When were they good? Fin.K.L., Sechs Kies, SG Wannabe....

    ReplyDelete