Wednesday, May 23, 2012

[AMA] Zaku

As you all may or may not know, AKF has reached it's 1 year anniversary and over 2 million hits since its conception. To try out something new (or rather bringing back what new authors did when freshly hired), how about AMAs?

Since hun opened the door with his lengthy insight into what he thinks, I thought it'd be nice if all the other authors did an "Ask Me Anything" article thing where you all could just ask us anything you wanted in the comments and we'll do our best to answer all of your questions. You could learn more about us, why we run this blog, whatever.

Cause why the fuck not?

For this session, keep your questions addressed to me (Zaku) and not the other authors. You can ask me about them though, I dunno. I'll be checking the comments from now until I go to bed. Which probably means 2AM Pacific Standard Time. Ask as much as you want, I'll answer em all eventually.

So cum at me bros.



    1. 1. I am male.

      2. My real name should not be shared on an online forum.

      3. I'm technically Buddhist, but I don't have much religious inclination.

      4. Boy group bias would be Big Bang.

      5. Girl Group bias is a toss-up between SNSD and T-ara.

      6. Male bias is TOP.

      7. Female bias is Seohyun.

      8. I use CS5 Photoshop to make gifs.

      9. I think fanboys are introduced to KPop through the music, but stay for the faps.

      10. Most of SNSD have had some work done, some more than others but at least their surgeries worked out well. (*coughunlikesomeoneweallknowcough*)

      11. JYJ most definitely do not have godly vocals.

      12. I don't know if G-Dragon is a genius lyricist because I don't understand Korean. If I was fluent in Korean, I could tell. And no, English translations don't mean shit when you evaluate that kind of thing.

      13. Daesung isn't technically a murderer, but he did make the situation worse. VIPS can spin it how they want, but you can't say he DIDN'T run over that poor guy. I think he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

      14. IU is far more famous and beloved by the Korean general public than Taeyang is. I think Taeyang should be happy a cute and famous girl both likes him and is giving HIM free attention.

    2. FAGGGOTTTT!!!!!

      anyway... do you ship TOPSEO!?

    3. wow fantastic baby is the best boy band song I ever heard in KPOP. Fuck love that song. Would probably wash TOP's balls to...wait. nevermind.

      I also love t-ara and I find seobaby cute. :) Even with her fake surprised fail face in twinkle.

    4. i dont think its the best. its not certain yet

  2. what are your top 5 big bang/gd and top/taeyang songs including lives and explain why if u can
    I don't like a lot of their stuff
    but these are dope to me

    1. taeyang wedding dress solar concert live - the back up singers killed it and guitar solo was dope
    2. taeyang only look at me solar concert live
    3. big bang - bad boy - choice37's beat was heavy on this
    4. big bang - cafe - i like falsettos
    5. big bang - tonight - for the acoustic guitar outro

    1. 1. Big Bang - Haru Haru (This song got me into KPop, and there's a million different live variations for this song which I enjoy.)

      2. Big Bang - Cafe (Aside from the different sound Big Bang went for, Daesung's bit was really great. Especially since it was a different vocal range than we're used to hearing.)

      3. GD&TOP - Knock Out (Fat bassline unf)

      4. Taeyang - I'll Be There (My favorite Taeyang song, and the MV was pretty neat-o. Korean stalker zombie werewolfpack worked out somehow.)

      5. TOP - Of All Days (Guilty pleasure song, I like it because it's a different style of song than you would expect from TOP.)

  3. What do you think of people Labeling each other in groups instead of being an individual such as themselves?
    What do you think of Fanwars? What you like and do not like about it and how you would you or would you not change it.
    Which girl/boy group was the biggest disappoint after you felt the most excitement from?
    What do you think of idols that do not excel at variety TV shows? Do you think idols should only do music or should they branch out into other industries like acting? or maybe even gravure stuff.
    What do you think about plastic surgery on k-pop idols? Is it right or wrong for them to do the procedure? If so how does it affect them in the present if they are caught lying when presented with past picture? How does it affect their future when in 10-20 years looks will not matter for them anymore?
    Is Jesus real? Is god real? Will we go to heaven?
    Would you ever want to see boy/girl bands in America? Do you want them singing/speaking in their native tongue with translators or make them learn fluent english?
    What do you think of korean "Netizens" giving monikers to everything? America does it subtly like "twinkie" or "oreo" which are mostly considered as insults. Would you appreciate it if people started calling your thighs jelly thighs or something random?
    Are there any asian or non-asian dramas and TV variety shows that spark your interests?
    What are you thinking right now?

    1. 1. I don't see the point in calling yourself a VIP or Blackjack or SONE or ELF, much less the people who collect fandom names like trading cards. I suppose you're entitled to doing whatever the fuck you want, but I see such people as sheep until proven otherwise.

      2. Fanwars are hilarious. I like that they occur in the first place because watching shit go down because of some trivial matter or something the idols could care less about is seriously funny to me. I dislike how most fanwars these days devolve into name-calling, or how people attempt to diffuse the situation by saying, "Ignore them, they're just trolling (insert group name) HWAITING!" I would want this aspect of KPop to never change, but I do wish people would find better mud to sling around.

      3. EXO. I thought they were going to debut with a flurry of wank and butthurt and totally drain SuJu of everything, but this has yet to happen in a big way yet. YET.

      4. I think idols who don't do well on variety shows should just play to their strengths and not worry about being good at it. Unless having no variety show sense is their variety show skill, then that's sometimes kinda funny/endearing. Frankly, variety shows are to flesh out the people we're supposed to be idolizing and drooling over, and if they don't really appear on variety shows, that's just one less avenue to reach out to fans. I think idols should branch out to other industries if they have a capacity for it. As in, try it out once, and if it's obvious you blow cocks at it, then just don't. And gravure is always an option if you can't sing/act/dance/be interesting on variety shows.

      5. Plastic surgery isn't terribly important to me. Obviously it's nice to know if your favorite beautiful people are born that way or made that way with help from Dr. Kim, but it's not terribly wrong to do have done it. It's a very personal decision, so I understand and don't mind if people don't initially come clean about it. Straight up lying is a murky mess that I don't particularly care for. Plastic surgery shouldn't affect their futures when their looks don't matter anymore, unless you're Kwanghee and your whole identity is being "in your face" about having done plastic surgery.

      6. You may find me silly but I think all the religious deities of the world exist at once and they're all buddy buddy with each other. Kinda like that clip from Family Guy where Peter thanks Jesus but Jesus tries to tell him it was Buddha who helped him out. Every religious figure has jurisdiction over their own flock of sheep. An afterlife is nice in theory, but I personally don't think there is one.

      7. Hrm, I'm undecided about this really. Seeing boy/girl groups in America would either bring me secret shame or total indifference. It would be nice if they sang in fluent English, but there's plenty of musicians who have made successful careers being bilingual singers. Shakira comes to mind first, but I'm sure there's more out there.

      8. I think the Korean habit of labeling things is incredibly stupid. Why can't we just appreciate an individual's beauty on a case-by-case basis instead of shoving them into a neat little category? Twinkie and Oreo are more lowkey racial slurs than they are an American equivalent of shit like Bagel Girl or S-Line. I would not appreciate someone using a food item or a letter to describe any part of me.

      9. Yes. I enjoy watching things like The Office, Community, 30Rock, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones for drama-ish things. Jeopardy for variety show stuff, though the only "variety shows" in America are game/talk shows.

      10. I am thinking about what I'm going to wear to a banquet I have to attend soon, whether or not to eat beforehand, and about all the MV reviews I have queued.

  4. Out of the following groups, which is the best?

    Girls' Generation

  5. Whats your favorite site for watching korean porn?

    1. Korean porn is pretty hard to find (I tried looking out of curiousity), but I think the best site is Spankwire. /shrug

  6. Replies
    1. I used to read/watch Detective Conan, but I haven't done so in a long time. 400+ chapters to backtrack is not very appealing to me, especially since I've totally forgotten the plots and characters by now.

  7. would you rather suck a dick or get fucked in the ass?

    1. Hrm... Both are pretty bad, but I think I'd rather suck a dick.

  8. 1)If i think you are the most hilarious and supreme angsty writer in this site,,,would you immediately think I am a crazy bitch spamming here?
    2)have you gone to prison?if yes,was it fun?if no, don't you have plans and why?
    3)Is there a conspiracy theory behind this site?are you on cahoots with the other kpop site too?just curious..
    4)if you will join a kpop group,what group and what will be your contribution to bring the group into greatness?
    5)in continuation to number 4, what are your thoughts if your group decided to go to america?would you be confident that it will be a success if they have you?what's your game plan?
    6)is it natural for the japanese girls in porn sites to scream like they were mutilated or something?are they like that in real life too?
    7)is there no female writer in this site?
    8)what does tednee,Pinoy,eunjunf,637 mean?

    1. 7) Oh sweety. I am a female author.

    2. 1. Not at all, thank you for the complements! Angsty though?? .___.

      2. I have not gone to prison. And I don't think I plan on going to prison anytime soon, that kind of thing (though quite character building and badass-making if you don't get made into a bitch) is a big issue when trying to get a respectable job.

      3. I don't think there's a conspiracy. Unless you count the one where our boss routinely forgets to hand out our paychecks or give us vacations. What other KPop site are you talking about?

      4. If I joined a KPop group, it'd probably be EXO. I don't particularly care for any of them, but I wouldn't have to work hard and fangirls would love me and defend me from haters anyway. My contribution will be English skills!!

      5. If EXO and I went to America, I would fully expect to flop like a Magikarp. My game plan is to speak English and perform copious amounts of fanservice to distract fans from how terribly we're doing.

      6. I think Japanese pornstars scream like that cause it's a cultural thing. Maybe they're trying to be kawaii/demure/feminine? I'm pretty sure Japanese girls from Japan are like that in real life, but American-born Japanese girls are "normal?" I wouldn't know.

      7. There were several female authors on this site in the past, but I think the only one on the team right now is Shin-unnie. I saw pics, it's the truth.

      8. Tednee = SHINee + Teddy Riley. A joke on how he was going to fuck them over with shitty songs or something.

      Pinoy = racial slur for Filipinos. I think people transitioned from nigga to that just to be "funny." I only have myself to blame. ;A;

      Eunjunf = Eunjung + unf. She's hot, and people enjoy fapping to her.

      637 is an anon who posted (at 6:37 AM/PM) a hilariously offtopic rant about T-ara in a SECRET article, concluding with how much he/she wanted to fuck Eunjung. Sparked several imitators, but the original 637 anon was never again seen. That or no one believed any anon after that was the original.

    3. Pinoy isn't a racial slur. They're actually called Pinoys.

    4. Pinoy isn't a racial slur cuz it's some shit slang that originated from the slums of Manila. A lot of Filipinos want to be called Pinoys, ergo, they as an entire legion of spawns validly fit under the classification of a ghetto. 2 cents bbz

      I <3 u zaku

    5. are you a virgin. have u fuck anybody?
      tell the truth
      if ur a virgin
      would fuck a hooker without any condoms
      in the spur of the moments

    6. PS: Pinoy = Filipino = (fili)PI+NO(-y colloquial inflection)

      @Sooyoung is a Fat Whore bbz, plz get your projection of sexual fantasies its own spot not on my ass <3

    7. The fuck Zaku! I thought u were 637!

    8. Oh I was under the impression that Pinoy wasn't PC so I went with that. Ah well.

      I'm not 637, but I can do a good erotic fanfiction. At least I think so, see my Hyori one for reference.

      Also, I would not fuck a hooker without condoms.

  9. How many light years would it take to get to Andromeda?

    1. Wikipedia and Google say 2.6 million light-years.

  10. Replies
    1. Morgan Freeman played God, and his voice is divine.

      I wouldn't call him a god in any serious talk though.

  11. Replies
    1. Jessica hands down. The mystery of whether or not the Sicamelons are truly magnificent or just the result of a fabulous/bionic push-up bra will be settled once and for all. For me at least.

      Dara is too sticklike and flat as a washboard on both sides. Plus she'd probably be derping in the middle of sex, and I think she's a J-Pornlike squealer.

  12. Who's the "unlikesomeoneweallknow" who did plastic surgery?

    Rate your own looks on a scale of 1 to 10

    What do you think of after school's graduation system?

    1. 1. Park Bom? Come on now, you can't call yourself a KPop fan and not know that.

      2. 7/10. :D

      3. I think it's a horrible idea. It's just another way of forcibly retiring an idol when they're no longer of marketable worth to the group.

    2. lol EVERYONE says 7/10. We all can't be 7/10s.

      That's why a five point rating system is better, because people think 7 = C, 8 = B, 9 = A, 10 = TAEYEON. 5s are seen as ugly, when they should be average.

      I'd give you a 3/5, based on what I've seen. (nothing)

    3. I'm slightly above average in my opinion~!

  13. Are you Asian?
    How old are you?
    Are you still a student? On the average, how many hours do you spend online?
    Who do you hate the most? (can be individual or group)
    What are your thoughts about netizens ranking everything (height,weight,vocal range, etc.)?

    1. 1. Yes I am Asian.

      2. I'm 20.

      3. Yep, I'm currently attending college.

      4. I'm not really a hater, cause I like to give everyone a chance to change my mind. But so far, the irredeemables are Super Junior. The only song I like from them is Bonamana for some reason, and the majority of their group irks me. I do find Heechul, Donghae, Kangin, and Siwon funny at times. Kibum is my hero though, doesn't promote or do shit with SuJu, still gets love from ELFs. That's the life, man.

      5. I think those rankings are stupid, and all it does is generate butthurt. The butthurt was funny to see in the beginning, but now it's all the same shit.

  14. 00 or Seed?

    Who is your favourite idol to fap to?

    iOS, Android or Windows Mobile?

    If you could make a female K-pop supergroup, who would you pick? No size or talent limit.

    How do you make such awesome gifs?

    Who is your favourite female AKF author?

    Do you prefer writing or posting pictures?

    Bread, potatoes, rice or noodles?

    1. 1. I never got around to finishing either series, but I think I like Seed's Gundam designs a lot better.

      2. I don't fap to idols on principle because I personally find it extremely weird to do so. I dunno, it's hard to explain.

      3. I don't own a smartphone (yet, *sobbing*) but I like using iOS better. At least from playing around in the Apple Store.

      4. Female KPop supergroup eh?

      Leader: Rainbow's Jaekyung because she's used to leading a big group of girls. She's a good HBIC and would make a decent sub-vocalist.

      Main vocals: Davichi's Minkyung because she's very good at what she does. She could moonlight as a sub-rapper if I wanted her to as well.

      Rapper/Official Team Tomboy: T-ara's Eunjung because she's the top-tier KPop tomboy. She's also a decent dancer and rapper.

      Main Dancer: Rania's Di because I wanted a 5 person group and couldn't decide who else to pick so might as well pick a main dancer. As part of Rania, she's got plenty of experience doing sexy sex dances and shit. Downside is she's not a phenomenal singer, but she can hold her own. She's also a sub-tomboy, but is more feminine than Eunjung.

      Maknae: Miss A's Suzy because she's pretty, and very well-rounded at singing/dancing/whatever. I was also trying to pick someone who wasn't super young compared to the line-up I had already.

      5. I try to use as high quality source videos as I can to make gifs. It really makes a big difference.

      6. Shin-unnie is the only active female AKF author at the moment, but I'd still pick her if she wasn't. Or would I...?

      7. I like writing, it's become a hobby of mine. Picture posts feel empty to me for some reason.

      8. Rice!

  15. Replies
    1. Seohyun cums artificial femjizz that she concocts herself. She's trying to blend in with the fleshbags, so motor oil is too obvious.

  16. 1. When did you first get to know about the blog?
    2. What's your nationality?
    3. Most lulzy fangirl comment you've heard?
    4. How long does it take for you to come up with ideas for posts?

    1. 1. I first got to know about the blog back in the old 6Theory days from AKFG himself. He had just started it up, and was promoting it in his sig when he posted(at least until he got banned).

      2. I'm Vietnamese.

      3. "OPPA DIDN'T MEAN IT." It's a classic, and is just so universal. It's like the Swiss Army Knife of defensive comments. Makes me laugh every time.

      4. I get ideas from seeing articles from the big KPop news portals, from stupid shit I see on Youtube, or random tweets I get from my newsfeed. And if those don't come up with anything good, I just dig out an MV to review or something.

      So not very long. The hardest part isn't finding ideas, but figuring out how to articulate my points without sounding like the very butthurt fangirls this blog is for laughing at and trying to do it in a way that people would enjoy reading. No one likes reading srs business essay posts, so I try to inject humor into it. I hope it's working...



  18. You say JYJ have no goldy vocals... What about HoMin?


    1. What do you think of homosexuality?
    2. What do you say about racism?
    3. What's your opinion on suicide?
    4. Any idea of how to make this world a better place?

    And oh!

    5. Are you a soccer fan?