Saturday, May 12, 2012

wat the fk, no 1 riting about apink???!

speshur note: deez apink my favorit grls frum cube bcuz trolol



The Group: I've always been conflicted about A Pink. At times, they remind me of SNSD in their glory days (when laws were stern, and justice stood, and people was behaving like SNSD was good) with the consistently catchy songs, convincingly cute outfits, and great chemistry. On the other hand, they're fucking boring. Their entire concept is a rehash of the classic "Look at me! I'm Sailor Moon and I can wink!" concept, which inevitably becomes unbearable. And there's also the problem of how fake they feel.

The Song: Moving away from the surgary sweetness of their previous hits, Hush Hush is much more disco-driven (think T-ara), and unfortunately catchy. I say "unfortunately" because the song is filled with a shitton of, well, shit (i.e. "ooh ooh", or the entire Engrish rap fuckery), but in the end, it's still a catchy mother fucker.

trying. so. hard.
Bomi: Cute. But not very convincing, especially when she tries to be cute. It seems to me, that she is only too aware of how pathetic they look with all the winks and sweet smiles. Or her facial expressions are just naturally awkward, I don't know. Regardless, she's in the upper half of A Pink.


Namjoo: No. Although with Hush Hush, she has become slightly more bearable, she is still a flaw. Something about her nose... See 'My My' if you aren't convinced.

ooh ooh
Chorong: Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. She is a cutie, to be sure, but her smile often looks so awkward, it's distressing. Otherwise, she's great. Besides, I like fatties (see: Su- but no, I'm not allowed to do this anymore).


Eunji: Possibly the only "genuine" member of A Pink. She constantly looks as if she's actually having fun, as if she's actually happy. And maybe she is. She's also a very adept singer. All of these qualities should make her the most amiable member of the group by far, but I don't care for her. The reason is simple enough: She reminds me of Victoria. And anything that vaguely reminds me of the gross clusterfuck that was Victoria on Invincible Youth is repulsive to me.

so qt convincing wink!
Hayoung: A little-known fact: "Hayoung" is in fact a unisex name (and coincidentally, mine). Whether or not her parents named it Hayoung after seeing it was a hermaphrodite is irrelevant, how it managed to convince Cube to let it join A Pink is. 2/10. (Okay, she's not that bad. Hush Hush has seen marked improvement on most of the shittier members).


Yookyung: Hyoyeon. Shindong. Yookyung. This girl is a ruiner. She's like a rounder, uglier, chubbier, manlier Kan Mi Youn. She ruins A Pink and Kan Mi Youn. Fuck her.

how to look like a classy nympho 101
Na Eun: The fakest of them all. Incidentally, she is the most beautiful. She knows exactly what she's selling, and exactly how to sell it. Again, it helps that she has a sexy, petite body and an adorable face. Regardless of how fake her smiles may be, the way she exudes sex appeal while still attempting to maintain the "cute and innocent" guise is just fucking irresistible.

Best performance thus far, because these outfits are so fucking great (especially on Na Eun)

Disclaimer: I am not Zaku, nor God (and if you choose to believe they are one and the same, that's fine). I don't make my own gifs; most of these were found on tumblr and various other corners of the interwebz, but if you want credit or something, fuck you.

37 comments:

  1. Fuck you. Namjoo is their Hyoyeon; Yookyung is their Ren.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fuck YOUUUUU
    Yookyeong is the fucking best, Hayoung is a goddess and Eunji and Vicky are adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello Venus is shittin on APink
    http://bit.ly/J5Tf8L
    How couldn't you like her. Their group is like a hot SPICA.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. alice is awesome. I second

      Delete
    2. I like them better too, but I wasn't going to write about them until Yoonjo. We'll see. On the other hand, Alice? Look at those disgusting roots.

      Delete
    3. http://bit.ly/IRmgkp
      Because this is much better...

      And fangirls need to quit blubbering over Lime like she's the reincarnation of Christ. Same thing with Bjs and CL.
      But I can't complain about much else.

      Delete
    4. I really want to check your links out. But the last time I opened a shortened link it redirected me to free porn and refused to let go until I ripped out the battery on my laptop.

      Delete
    5. http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3th3scl3X1ru8iwdo2_500.jpg

      http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3w36x81291rvs88xo1_500.jpg

      Delete
    6. IMMORAL ACTS, FUCK YEAH

      okdr.tumblr.com/post/21580333445/just-came-across-the-fact-that-hello-venus-nara

      Delete
  4. yookyung and hayoung looks the same to me...
    they are the "hyogre" of the group

    ReplyDelete
  5. You call this a cumbag article?
    I AM DISSAPOINT. DAT NAEUN THOUGH.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yookyung is awesome,she even looks kind of pretty with short hair.
    Hayoung though...her voice is horrible too.
    Na Eun <3

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  7. they remind me of SNSD in their glory days (when laws were stern, and justice stood, and people was behaving like SNSD was good

    sounds like Mos Def's line in blackstar album

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  8. In short, you wanna fap to Na Eun? writing of this review just gives you an excuse to look at her gif.

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  9. i agree on your opinion about na eun, she knows she's the face of the group. and every time she appears on camera she's like, "yea i kno i'm the prettiest"

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  10. I can't get into APink. There is no members that stick out to me as attractive or even memorable. also yeah that one girl/boy looks like a hermaphrodite. Also SUZY IS A fat whore. Don't care, I'm saying it.

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  11. A Pink bores me, but Na Eun is definitely the best of them.

    On that note, expect a proper Hush review sometime tomorrow. :D

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  12. I find Na Eun really annoying...IDK. I think it's bcuz she had the most attention during their debut. It's like with Chocolat where Tia appears every 5 friggin seconds and it's irritating.

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    Replies
    1. Koreans love Tia, yet foreigners love Juliane

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    2. so true. i'm from Portugal, Europe, and my favorite is Julianne. Tia annoyis me so much

      Delete
  13. their aegyo is fuck!
    their face make me want vomit
    and the song is damn nothing special about

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  14. a-pink is boring and everyone is like a repeat of the other.

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  15. good article but are you seriously saying the snsd was good in before,those bitches have always been fcuking horrendous
    I always thought the apick was like snsd but just much better just look they look way better with those pants than snsd in the gee days

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I realize not everybody may agree, but yeah, I thought they were great (notably Tiffany). Gee was about where my love began to falter, Oh! is when I really started doubting. After RDR + The Boys, I no longer give a fuck.

      Delete
    2. I have to agree. SNSD was good before but now they are just riding a wave of imbecile fanboyism to coast along.The only relevant members in my opinion are Taeyeon and Seohyun because they are the only genuine beauties and singers in SNSD (many may not agree with the "beauty" part but the "singer" claim should be much less controversial). The other 7 are screwed up, so are their plastic-enhanced faces.

      Delete
    3. I think I liked snsd up to OH!

      Black soshi is where my love died...after that it was all down hill.


      But honestly I kind of like Da boyz but I shouldn't admit this.

      Delete
  16. A Pink is the best. Anyone who thinks Hayoung is ugs deserves a bitchslap that would reunite the Korean peninsula.

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    Replies
    1. not everyone leaves in south korea. Hayoung is ugly to some people, including me, because we don't have the same ideal of beauty

      Delete
  17. omg davidfag I hate you I cannot stop watching this stupid video. The chorus is quite a letdown, though.

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  18. Eunji is curvier then Chorong but there both no way near fat, dude... there not even 50kg. you should feel ashamed

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  19. well, i love Apink, they're my second favroite kpop girl group, after SNSD xD
    and i don't think Naeun is the prettiest, but yeah, she's quite fake, she tries too hard to look innocent
    and Eunji is amazing, especially her voice. and she doesn't remind of Victoria, why do you say that? o_O

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  20. A little-known fact: "Hayoung" is in fact a unisex name
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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  21. You thought naeun is the most getting attention?
    Well, if you are really a fan of them, I'm sure you'll think twice... Because Eunji is the real irritating...

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