Sunday, February 22, 2015

Kim Hyun Joong plans to marry his pregnant ex-girlfriend + Dispatch releases timeline = victim blaming!

Most of you know, by now, that Kim Hyun Joong (actor/singer/girlfriend beater/member of SS501) previously admitted to beating up his ex-girlfriend (Victim A) and breaking her ribs - albeit under the guise of attempting of "practising martial arts". He has always vehemently denied that he was a serial abuser when said ex-girlfriend brought up a lawsuit against him, in an attempt to sue him for domestic violence. However, the lawsuit was eventually dropped and Kim Hyun Joong was ordered to pay a measly penalty fee.

Now, according to reports released in the magazine Women's Sense, Kim Hyun Joong has apparently reunited with victim A and has plans to marry her as she is now...pregnant. 
In the March issue of magazine ‘Woman Sense’s March issue, they wrote, “Kim Hyun Joong reconciled with his two years older ex-girlfriend and are expecting a baby. The baby’s mother is Ms. Choi (31), the ex-girlfriend who sued Kim Hyung Joong for assault.” A close friend of the couple told Women’s Sense that Kim Hyun Joong and Ms. Choi peacefully reconciled when the idol sincerely apologized for his actions after the assault case. The magazine went on to quote the friend who revealed, “Currently, Kim Hyun Joong is worried about his upcoming enlistment into the army while both families are discussing about marriage and the baby.”

 In order to add more clarity to the matter at end, Dispatch released a timeline of the events starting with the filing of victim A's lawsuit - it goes as follows*:
Source: Dispatch via Nate

2014 August 2nd: A files a lawsuit.

2014 September 15th: Kim Hyun Joong releases an apology.

2014 September 20th: Kim Hyun Joong called in for investigation. He constantly visited A's house to apologize and ask for a lighter prosecution. Part of their 'misunderstanding' was resolved. 

2014 October: Kim Hyun Joong genuinely apologizes to A, continuing to reach her for contact. A seems to have gained back her feelings for him during this process.

2014 November: Kim Hyun Joong throws a surprise event for A's birthday. One insider said, "Kim Hyun Joong sent flowers and a cake to A's home and had a surprise party in Seoul. A friend's couple also joined them."

2014 December: Kim Hyun Joong and A get back together.

2014 December 24th: The two take a Christmas trip to Jeju Island for 3 days. They also spent New Year's together at Kim Hyun Joong's house and officially returned to being lovers.

2014 December 29th: Police cross-interrogate Kim Hyun Joong and A.

2014 December: A confirms she's pregnant. Currently, she's 11 weeks along and is expected to give birth in September. 

2015 January 19th: Police close Kim Hyun Joong's assault case. All he must pay is a penalty fee.

2015 February: Kim Hyun Joong is currently promoting in Japan and recently returned to Korea after his fan meet.

2015 Future?: Kim Hyun Joong will be enlisting in the army this year. Both families are currently meeting to discuss matters on the baby's birth and future.

You can see the original timeline here.

Obviously, with the release of this information, oppapologists that never believed that KHJ could harm his ex-girlfriend (who is soon to be his wife) have come out in their masses to slut-shame and victim blame the woman. I'm not just talking about fans in Korea, but people in the international K-Pop fandom as well. One such comment, that caught my eye, happens to originate from OneHallyu itself.

What is this "I'm-not-going-to-defend-him-instead-I'm-going-to-victim-blame-the-ex-girlfriend-as-a-sexual-predator" type of bullshit? I understand that people might not be able to comprehend the situation at hand, especially if they haven't been in it themselves, and are probably thinking "Why the fuck did she put herself back in that type of situation?", but this type of comment is so far from being like your usual far-removed comment. This comment is basically implying that the victim worked her way back into Kim Hyun Joong's abusive underpants for money. Oh no, he didn't take advantage of her vulnerabilities it was she who manipulated him!

The amount of abhorrent victim shaming that this woman is receiving is absolutely unacceptable. The timeline, that Dispatch has provided us with, makes it absolutely clear that KHJ went out of his way to continually manipulate this woman into getting back together with him. The aspects of the timeline, that I put in bold, emphasises this fact. You can clearly see that KHJ groomed this woman with gifts and emotional promises (possibly even threatening to kill himself if she does not get back together with him) in order to regain her trust, have the lawsuit against him dropped, and "clean up" his public image. 

Or even worse: he might have made her feel as if she was the guilty party at hand. That she was the reason why he would act out. It is not uncommon for those that suffer from domestic abuse to be made to feel guilty, by their abusers, and thus feel the need to return to their abusers as they are "righting their wrongs".

This article by CNN best explains the possible reasons for KHJ's ex-girlfriend going back to him, and why victims of domestic abuse go back to their abusers in general. I think it's something that everyone should read.

It doesn't matter how he manipulated her, but Kim Hyun Joong advantage of an already emotionally vulnerable woman (who was probably starting to blame herself for the abuse, anyway) and groomed his way into her underpants. He probably intentionally slept her with her without using protection as well. The manipulation that he probably, most-definitely inflicted upon her probably means that he groomed her into having sex with him (which could constitute as rape, but I'm not sure how South Korea's laws on this type of predatory manipulation works - they're probably bullshit anyway).

Getting his fiancĂ© pregnant basically leaves her with no other option, but to get back together with her abuser because the stigma towards single mothers, in South Korea, makes it pretty much impossible for a woman to raise a child on her own in such a country. Plus, his wonderful fans have already leaked personal information on the woman we know to be Miss Choi which means that if she were to go it alone she'd be known as both a single mother and a victim of domestic violence. God knows what that might drive her to do, knowing how cases such as Choi Jin Shil ended. Bloody hell, the poor woman might have thought that going back to KHJ would be the lesser of two evils.
But I think that there is definitely something more sinister going on, right now. The Dispatch article clearly states that the girl's and KHJ's parents are discussing "matters on the baby's birth and future". This probably means that the girl has been made to feel ashamed by her parents and is thus being pressured into a marriage that she might not even want. You'll be surprised by how victims of abused are pressured by their own family members - the very people that should be supporting them - into doing something that is most definitely detrimental to their health.
I am just so worried about what might happen to this woman once the honeymoon period is over. Thank God that KHJ is going to be in the military for the first two years of the baby's life, I hate to know what he might do to her and their child. 


  1. It is really sad how most of the time, good looking people are aesthetically pleasing in order to compensate their lack of kindness. Seriously, most of the good looking people I have met are fucking cunts.

    1. He can use his good looks, and celebrity status, to "justify" his abuse towards her as well.

    2. Kind of ironic how this is the one situation in which people are willing to defend an idol rather the condemn them.

  2. hasnt it occur to u that maybe they just love each other n would like to gv themselves a second chance

  3. hasnt it occur to u that maybe they just love each other n would like to gv themselves a second chance

    1. Everything is possible but even if he understood his mistake and tried to change (with a help of therapist ofc otherwise is worthless) IMHO it's still too early to create healthy relationship and family. I wish them all the best- but they should work on couples' therapy. No idea how it works in Korea, but as he is in police's files he may be forced to get some psychologist help, no?

    2. hasnt it occur to u that maybe sometimes you just gotta smack a bitch

    3. To jisoo_fag, SHAME ON YOU!
      The lady's ribs were broken for goodness' sake.

      Seriously I hope that commenters who post such things will be banned and their comments deleted.

      WHEW! I barely managed not to type in caps lock throughout.

  4. I've missed your articles akisame. Welcome back!
    I'm honestly kind of scared for the girl and the baby. People who are abusive typically don't stop being abusive in situations like this.

  5. I can't help but think that if someone hit him that plastic nose would fly right off his face

  6. Also, here's a dramatisation of how all of this will end

  7. I guess this is their way of feeling less feminine by beating up females. The fact that he didn't even use Shinryuken means he's hopeless.

    Ryu and Ken would shame him.

  8. Ain't this some rihanna and Chris Brown type of stuff. I cannot mess with stupid.

  9. This whole situation is just sad, and I'm very disappointed by some people's reaction to it.

    Abusers like him are the worst, because they make their victims believe that they're the ones keeping them safe.
    I can only wish the best for the poor lady, tho I don't think that the best includes KHJ being anywhere near her or her baby.

  10. Why do all of the biggest douchebags in South Korea have Justin Bieber's haircut?

    1. Hey dude, name us a few, and maybe akisame could do a sequel of this article.

  11. the gf should have practiced martial arts whi

  12. i was never a KHJ fan.
    Resembling BaeYongJoon in good looks is pointless.