Monday, February 23, 2015

Suzy tries to be a hat whore and fails; still succeeds in being a fat whore

Miss A member Suzy filed and lost a lawsuit against a fashion store over a hat dispute, sources say. The latter marketed one of their products as a Suzy hat without the consent of the idol. Suzy was seen wearing the hat in question (pictured below) prior to this lawsuit.


The fashion store has released a statement regarding the incident, saying: "We apologise for any inconveniences we may have caused Suzy and JYP Entertainment. Our intention was not to advertise the product as a Suzy hat, but rather as a fat whore hat. We wanted to convey to our customers the message that 'fat' and 'whore' are words with negative connotations only because of people's attitudes to them. There is nothing to be ashamed of about being a larger and/or sexually liberated woman, and we wanted to reclaim those words. We thought that Suzy perfectly embodied these traits, which is why we were so pleased when we saw her wearing our product. It seems as though fans of Suzy were excited by this and dubbed it a 'Suzy hat' when we had not explicitly stated it to be so. Again, we offer our deepest apologies to all involved. tl;dr: go suck a dick you fat whore"

"I think it's disgraceful that I don't have rights on my own signature fat whore image," said Suzy, when asked about the lawsuit. "I was relying on the income from the lawsuit and hat royalties to buy more Sprite. It's not easy having so much trainee debt. I suspect a certain someone with the name [whisper inaudible] might be pulling strings to cut down on my sugar levels."

"I can't believe she would be so distrusting of me," said Park Jin Young, CEO of JYP Entertainment, in response to Suzy's allegations against him. "Besides, there is no hope for that plus-sized promiscuous woman, so I gave up on making her diet long ago. That's it, Suzy, no more dessert for you tonight."

However, Suzy was not alone in taking issue with the so-called 'fat whore hat'. "I was disappointed with this product," said suzy_fag, netizen and regular customer at the fashion store. "I was expecting Suzy to have worn the hat beforehand, but this was not the case. It smelled nothing like her hair." Mr suzy_fag refused to answer any further questions regarding his last statement.

Please donate to the Suzy Is A Fat Whore Foundation (SIAFWF) so we can continue to fund future SIAFW articles. We thank you for your understanding and support.

17 comments:

  1. She's about the only fat whore I'd fondle.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wait, did you sell out to special interests for this post? I thought AKF was founded on a culture of transparency and anti-Suzyism. This is a violation of everything we stand for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Suzy haters gotta eat too. Suzy herself, on the other hand, does not.

      Delete
  3. What does Suzy's hair smell like?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sprite and semen, if her CF is anything to go by.

      Delete
  4. lol I hope suzy_fag got a refund

    ReplyDelete
  5. Whats with the fat suzy joke going around, when did she get this fat whore tag?? Did i miss a joke or akf article?? Someone update me plz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was long ago, fucking long ago. So were cyclops and horsica.

      Delete
    2. Couldn't find the original SIAFW article, but this seems to be the first mention of Suzy and her weight:
      http://antikpopfangirl.blogspot.com/2011/04/suzys-pictures.html

      Delete
    3. I think it was Leeteuk saying that she needs to lose weight on a radio

      Delete
  6. Oh no. One author who is copying AKF's writing style is bad enough. Now we have two AKF copycats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wasn't aware that Zaku is considered an AKF clone because he uses "Suzy is a fat whore" jokes as well.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. I was not talking about Zaku. You know who I was talking about but anyways dgaf.

      Delete
    4. @DBY F ...lol you are the reason blogs like this got created

      Delete