Friday, June 21, 2013

[MV Review] Chocolat - Black Tinkerbell

For the longest time, I thought Chocolat had disbanded after making their I Like It/One More Day promotions. Not a single peep was to be had from them, and I'm pretty sure they didn't do any variety shows either. They pretty much dropped off the radar without doing any of the usual activities groups take to assure their fans/investors that they're still alive.

It would have been a travesty to have Tia or Julianne's sweet ass (one of da best in da biz) leave the KPop scene. Thankfully, they've made a cumback with Black Tinkerbell.


The MV seems to be a hot mess of a dance in box + close ups + shitty storyline type of MV, one we've seen time and time again. The storyline of Black Tinkerbell is your typical "Girl(s) like boy, boy is already dating someone, girl attempts to steal boy" kinda deal, an overarching theme that seems increasingly common among KPop MVs these days. Fuck empowering women through inspiring song and powerful example, Korea wants girls to grow up as tough bitches who take what they want or otherwise chase that D.

Judging you, Korea.
Anyway, the MV ends up doing it very ham-handedly because none of Chocolat can act worth a damn, except maybe Tia. But that's more of a "D'awww, she so precious" kinda feel than actual emotive prowess. Melanie especially is guilty of confusing constipation for brooding/contemplative/anguish (or you might argue that constipation IS anguish), every scene with her in it makes me crack up. The other girl whose name escapes me (the only pure-blooded Korean left in the group) comes off as extremely creepy.

Maybe it's something about her circle lenses...
In the end, the MV showcases how best to steal another woman's man through various techniques such as hanging up on the man when the man calls the woman's phone while she bathes while telling her it was just insurance people, cockblocking/clamjamming, or lazing around like a whiny bitch.

The dance portions of the MV are decent at least with a couple moves I found kinda interesting. Especially when the MV opens with a soaking wet Chocolat writhing around.

BEST CONCEPT EVER
This shit is the point dance. Pretty basic shit, but w/e.
I thought the discoboogie stuff was interesting. Might be due to the editing, not too sure.
Unfortunately, this is the only significant ass shot of the whole MV.
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT
Sadly for Sulli_fag and the rest of Chocolat's stans, the MV suffers from a distinct lack of ass. Because of the dim lighting combined with random T-ara-esque seizure lights, most of the good angles were obscured or otherwise unsalvageable. A damn shame. 

The outfits are nothing special, but in this day and age, unremarkable/simple = jjangbak as fuck. No one wants to see any more Korean kids dressed in wannabe ghetto hoodrat shit to compete for Korea's Top Fashionista. The girls look good, but Julianne looks kinda dumpy in certain angles. Tia is fab as always.

I'm actually kinda surprised at how relatively evenly the camera time was distributed. Everyone had a decent amount of screen time, and although Tia still (understandably) got a majority of it, it wasn't overwhelmingly a "Tia and her backup dancers" production. More like 40/20/20/20 instead of 70/10/10/10 like other groups.

The song itself is nothing special either. No fancy vocal runs, no frills, no nonsense. Super basic, but again, in this day and age, that in and of itself is rather remarkable. Thank god they didn't try to go for a dubstep dance break, or a mid-song tempo/style/everything change, or some other garbage like that. I will say the the English can get grinding on the ears with repeated listens, but this isn't the kind of song most people will be replaying over and over again. It's probably going to be one of those songs you listen to a couple times, download, but never played until it comes up randomly on shuffle. One More Day shits all over this song, even with that shitty rapper guy in it.

I don't get why this song is called Black Tinkerbell anyway. The only thing that has to do with "Tinkerbell" is some line about "you're my Peter Pan" or some shit like that. IDEK man. 

TL;DR:
Basic song, basic MV, basic dance, but that just means going back to fundamentals.

+:
  • no random shit
  • Tia
  • wet Chocolat
  • the scene where Tia hangs up on the guy
-:
  • no ass
  • rather boring song
  • English can get annoying
  • Chocolat can't act for shit
I give this a 2.5 out of 5 (2/5 technically, but 0.5 extra for Tia<3).

15 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. I'm assuming this MV will get 0 faps from sulli_fag.

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  3. Song is almost as boring as 'First Love', just a tiny bit better. Dance came out of recycling factory and is terribly generic. 3/5 is too generous

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    1. and idk whats wrong with one the girl's face, its weird and reminded me so much of Seo In Young.

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  4. Pretty weak. Like Al Gore justifying the purchase of his Hummer.

    2/5 from me. Tops. Not a sliver of effort.

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    1. You're right... I'm revising it to 2.5/5. Extra 0.5 for Tia. <3

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  5. i think i made it to the first chorus before i was too bored to continue

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  6. It's certainly not bad. In no department.

    The MV is pretty well done I'd say.

    The only thing it lacks is juuuust a biiit more umpf or speed to make it really exiting.

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  8. I dont give a damn, i still love Melanies bitch face.

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  9. Do more reviews like this. They're really good. Do one for After School.

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  10. I love this song, it has been my jam all week. But why do they hide Juliane's magnificent ass? Oh well, at least she gets good vocal parts.

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  11. Huh. I liked it even though it was sorta boring. Maybe because they played it safe, and didn't fucking rap, dub step, or dress stupidly like you pointed out.

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