Sunday, October 12, 2014

[MV Review] Red Velvet - Be Natural


tl;dr: Mute the fucker and fap. Detailed review after the jump.



At first I was happy that Red Velvet was making a comeback so soon, but then I read that this song was a remake of SES's "Be Natural." I was praying that the song would be rearranged to have a more modern sound. No. As usual, the K-pop gods kicked me in the nuts and pissed all over my face before having explosive diarrhea all over me. The only thing this remake improves from the original is that the song is a whole minute shorter now, which saves me a minute of agony.

There are people out there who will like this song, and it may be people who like the old K-pop and/or people who like R&B. I like the old K-pop sound, but I fucking hate R&B. It is a genre that masquerades as being sophisticated music to cover up its fatal flaws of having boring instrumentals that are as slow as fuck, massive vocal wanking, and unbearably long song length. Vocals are the last thing I have ever cared about in music (I love Perfume for fuck's sake), so R&B vocal wanking is like seeing a pussy covered in warts, crabs, and pus.

The song insults me even more by adding in the shitty idol rapper. Talk about adding an aborted fetus on top of this steaming pile of vile shit. For the love of God, just mute the song, because...

...the girls are hot as fuck in the MV.

Wendy is my favorite, but Irene and Seulgi look so much better in this MV without the weird hair colors. Irene actually looks her age, and therefore more fappable. Luckily our pal klogg made some great gifs the other day.

Joy wants you to know that she is now legal.







21 comments:

  1. That rap break totally kills the mood. Fuck SM and their shitty idol rappers. Why can't they just give us more Seulgi and Irene?

    But yeah, I was expecting for the song to at least be a bit original but it's a straight up cover. Still ok though to listen.

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  2. SNSD who? Sign me up for more Red Velvet please.

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  3. Based on the comments on the Youtube video, I seem to be the only one who really liked the rapping (it could have been shortened though). I don't think there was enough Seulgi for my liking :c

    But the choreography and one shot (ish) styled filming was phenominal

    RV can only go up from here

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    Replies
    1. That dude looks like Kris+Luhan combined. Which is not good considering, well, you know

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    2. new EXO member confirmed

      plus he's not a chinese male so he's possibly capable of honouring his contract

      Delete
  4. finally a girl group that can dance and look good at the same time <3

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  5. I'll take R&B with some nice sounds in it over some overly slow and drawn out agonizing ballad any day.

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  6. R&B? I got a more jazz feeling from it, besides that the girls look great, thier outfits look great, and the dancing was great. I've never heard the original but i don't really wanna hear it either Red Velvets rendition is satisfying enough.

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  7. it turns out I can fap to women in suits. that's probably why i'm banned from office premises, anyway

    seriously considering changing name to irene_fag or joy_fag. but seeing as areum went schizo, and nayeon may or may not have been kicked out of s_x dolls, I may be cursed and don't want to spread it to Red Velvet too

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  8. They suck, but Joy is hot enough to compensate for that.

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  9. I don't know, but I don't think RV girls are especially hot.
    Irene is ok, but that's about it.

    The song is truly bad.

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  10. Seulgi is my RV bias and also my favorite idol rookie this year.

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  11. Red Velvet is amazing. All of them. And their tight pants.

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  12. Replies
    1. in the gifs, its Joy, Wendy, Irene and then SeulGi. & in their Happiness concept, they had colored hair, Irene was pink, SeulGi was orange, Wendy was blue, and Joy was green.

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    2. OK thanks this helps a lot.

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  13. Irene and Seulgi must have gone to the same surgeon because they seriously look too much alike. In their Happiness promotions I couldn't tell them apart with a gun to my head.

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    Replies
    1. Huh???
      They look nothing alike.
      Irene looks like a poor man's Jeon Ji Hyun and Seulgi looks like Jia.

      Delete
  14. So much for their COLORFUL debut.

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    Replies
    1. Those white pants ain't helping anybody ...

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  15. 'Be natural'? More like 'Be quiet'

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