Thursday, June 4, 2015

Masters of Mediocrity (Jan-May 2015)

                               

It's true that 2015 hasn't been as shitty a year for K-pop as 2014 had been, thank heavens for that, but I'd be lying if I said there hasn't been some really terrible music, too. Well, I'm not gonna talk about the shitty or the good songs today, but about those that stand annoyingly in the middle; just plain old, "meh".

It's time to throw some spotlight at those songs that aren't memorable in any way, neither for how catchy they are nor for how cringe-worthy they are; the songs that are so unremarkable on so many different levels; the songs that have no value at all, and have no influence whatsoever or a reason for existing.


So let's take a moment to thank them for not giving us a mental breakdown, but also shit on them because of how unremarkably boring they are.

These are the Masters of Mediocrity.

10. 9MUSES - 'Drama'



Now I always liked 9MUSES' music (Namyu stan here), but this song was just dull and boring as hell. I couldn't care less about Eunji and Lee Sem leaving, but it was Sera's departure that really affected them, since she was one of the better vocalists and she had a unique voice. To me, Namyu lost their 'sound' and this is clearly evident here. I would have put them a little higher up the list but since no one was expecting much from them anyway after those, "developments", they've landed themselves the tenth spot with Drama. However, though the music video was bland as fuck, the visuals and outfits were on point (excluding Sungah, anyway).



9. Big Bang - 'Bae Bae'


The song was alright, but not Big Bang standard. To be honest, I was pretty disappointed with their double comeback, both the songs were pretty bland (Loser ranks higher up this list since 'Bae Bae' was slightly better). The video, though, is another story. But we're not here to talk about that.

8. SNSD - 'Catch Me If You Can'


The song isn't terrible, but it's not great either. Huge improvement since I Got A Bitch, but that doesn't stop it from making the list. Good for you, GG! This comeback also proves that Jessica getting the boot doesn't really affect the group since she never contributed much anyway. Simultaneously she is also now free to follow her dreams of becoming a pornstar, so win-win right?

7. CLC - 'Like'


The song was alright but doesn't live up to 'Pepe'. 'Pepe' had a really catchy chorus and it's a song that instantly grabs you on first listen. As for this one... I don't even remember how it goes. Apart from that, the music video was everything a K-pop stereotype is- overwhelmingly bright colours, overly cutesy girls, some shit about oppa and ermagawwwd revenge. Skip. Also, really terrible outfits.

6. Jay Park - 'Sex Trip'


Not sure if it's appropriate to put this one here since it's not really K-pop, but ah fuck it. I couldn't not include it.

5. Red Velvet - 'Automatic'


Why does this exist again?

4. Big Bang - 'Loser'


So this is the Big Bang comeback everyone was waiting for. Seriously now? You made everyone wait two years for this shit? Heck I could compose a better song. But why does it matter? Why bother making good music anyway? They already have a huge fandom consisting of dumb, delusional fanboys and fangirls who will buy whatever is thrown at them. Even if it's middle-class garbage like this.

3. Jun Hyoseong - 'Into You'



Hyoseong easily made this list at the very first listen. But this shit sells anyway, for obvious reasons.

Bet you wanna squeeze those tits.
2. Miss A - 'Only You'



Miss A has never failed to disappoint me with their consistency in making good music. Until now, of course. I've stanned them ever since I could remember but this song is so mediocre, it's sad. It has a nice instrumental but the rest is just dull as fuck, there is literally nothing to talk about here except for how much I'm disappointed with this comeback. However, it's just like the old saying, "a little Fei saves the day."

I just farted all over your bias list.
1. KARA - 'Cupid'



I literally could never get halfway through this music video, heaven knows I tried. There is nothing remotely interesting about it to be honest. I liked 'Mamma Mia' to some extent, even though the chorus gets annoying after a while, but this is just... ugh. All I can say is, congrats, KARA, you made the top of the list. Fucking A!

Well that was my opinion anyway. I may have forgotten some songs, or I may have terrible taste in music. Anyways, leave your opinions in the comments; what songs did you find most mediocre this year so far that may have not been included in this list?

Extra:

G-dragon looking fa-fa-fabulous at the airport. 


GD, teach me your pretty ways~



21 comments:

  1. I preferred the OMG Cupid over the KARA one.

    Loser was ok imo, though it wasn't worth a long-ass wait.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Found myself humming loser's chorus most of the time. But i dont remember how the other parts of the song sounded like.

      Delete
  2. Am I the only one jamming to catch me if you can?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope. Apparently, you and 277287 others (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b09U0KLv6I4)

      Delete
  3. Is not here but the OMG Cupid was so shitty that I couldn't finish the MV

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Their visual is freekin creepy and their.main vocal looks shit.

      Song is catchy and danceable though.

      Delete
  4. Sex Trip represents every triumph of human endeavour

    ReplyDelete
  5. The only recent k-pop song that comes to mind that I liked was FM, but it instantly (while listening to some bootleg-tier fancam) fell in love with it.

    JYP's Who's your momma is just really fucking funny.

    Other than that, absolutely uninteresting first 5 months. What a shame.
    I did some catching up MP3-wise with stuff that I've just forgot about ever getting, from Spica, Stellar, Sistar19 and others.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kara looked hot so idgaf, more close ups of gyuri would have made it better tho

    ReplyDelete
  7. I actually think Automatic is amazing, but I'm in the minority here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same, I liked it more than ICC, it's one of my favorite songs so far. Probably the only song on this list that surprised me.

      Delete
    2. Count me as the minority group too then, as I will listen to Automatic anyday over Ice Cream Cake.

      For me, most of the girl groups' comeback so far this year have been "meh", especially the perennial middle-tier girl groups (9Muses, Fiestar, Dal Shabet), which have comeback that is inferior to previous year.

      Delete
  8. That Hyoseong gif is hilarious.

    Bae Bae sounds like a song that aspired to rise above mediocrity, but fell just short.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I would have put Into You as the 1st choice. It's really lacking compared to her previous solo.
    I would also have replaced Only You with You're Pitiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually liked You're Pitiful, but it got boring pretty fast. I'll say it's a bit above mediocre.

      Delete
  10. Hello it is I, the only person in the world who thinks Cupid and Joker are two of the best singles this year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which cupid? omg or kara's?

      Also, Choke-her was fun :) my cousins always sings the chorus whenever i play it (they are non kpop fans)

      Delete
    2. I meant KARA's Cupid (from what I can gather OMG's Cupid was received pretty well).

      Delete
  11. You guys are so pitiful.
    More pitiful than before.


    Also, OMG CUPID is a great song with a boring MV. But the choreo is fun.

    Drama ended fast.
    Into you was decent because of the instrumental of the rap part.

    Bae Bae chorus was catchy enough.

    Like started with a nice tune but that fucking rapper has the same irritating voice aa jimin. And the choreo sux. The only thing that saves the group is the RiSe Look alike

    ReplyDelete
  12. Just realised that the embodiment of average, "I Am a Woman Too", is not here. My only solution is that it was so unbelievably dull that it completely evaporated from Oreo Monster's head immediately after the first listen and therefore wasn't even up for consideration.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pretty accurate. When I remembered it I was like 'shit....how could i forget.....'
      i'd put it first place tbh

      Delete