Saturday, August 20, 2016

Tiffany's guide to Korean culture and lifestyle

Ohmigosh, hi everybody it's Tiffany here!  I'm so happy to be here!  Kpopalypse always gets questions about Korean culture but he doesn't live in Korea, so he asked me to write something about my favourite country in the world for you who are thinking of coming to Korea!  This is absolutely unexpected and exciting and humbling all at the same time!  Let's learn all about Korea!

tiffanykorea

 


GEOGRAPHY


Korea is a nice country full of wonderful people.  It's located on the eastern coast of the Asian continent.
korea
It's the peninsula thing a little to the left of the green island.  Aren't green islands pretty?
Korea is divided into North and South.  North Korea is a dictatorship where people have no freedom, and little food, so they can't eat what they want at any time.  South Korea is a democracy where people do have lots of freedom, and lots of food, so people can eat what they want at any time, unless it's against SM's dieting rules.

HISTORY


I don't know much about Korean history because I'm busy being a k-pop star so I asked the girls from AOA but they didn't know either.  They said that our president is busy rewriting the history books so they didn't want to comment on history and get it wrong and upset their sensitive fanbase, but once the books are all rewritten they're going to learn what's in them and let you know all about it.

WORKING LIFE


Koreans work longer hours than anybody else in the developed world!  However don't be fooled - Korean workers actually have the lowest productivity of all OECD countries, and it's probably because they're so busy building up their own businesses on the side.
jessicunt1
Smart office attire could mean a worker cares about her presentation in the workplace, but it could also mean she's practicing clothes-making so she can start her own business and leave you in the lurch. Don't be too trusting of co-workers!


TRAVEL


It's fun to travel in Korea to see important sights that will fill you with Korean pride, however the roads are very dangerous, public transport is safer!  When using public transport, it's best to travel light!
tiffanytravelbag
Stylish!
A small travel bag like the one shown above will ensure that you cause a minimum of inconvenience to other travellers!

LEISURE


When it's party time, Koreans definitely like to have a drink, and the favourite alcoholic drink of choice in Korea is soju, depicted below.
sake
The soju is somewhere on this shelf, I think - sorry I was a bit tipsy when I took this photo.
Soju is about 20% alcohol by volume so be careful and drink responsibly!

The other common Korean leisure pastime is prostitution, which is unfortunately very popular and makes up 4% of Korea's GDP.
jessicawhore
Prostitutes can be identified by a general lack of clothing, low moral values and a tendency to abscond with other people's money to feather their own nest.  Avoid!

To make your time in Korea enjoyable, don't associate with prostitutes or you may end up with diseases, broken friendships or strained business partnerships.

PATRIOTISM


It's important for Koreans to love their country but people who post about it on the Internet are probably just showing off.
jessitryingtoohard
Say it, don't spray it.
Love your country on the inside instead, where it matters the most.
tiffanypa
Go go Korea!  Can you feel the Korean patriotism emanating from this picture?


ENTERTAINMENT


Don't forget to listen to Girls' Generation (少女時代) while you're in Korea!  Here are our albums that you should listen to!
snsdsnsd
Girls' Generation - Girls' Generation
snsdgirlsandpeace
Girls' Generation - Girls & Peace
snsdloveandpeace
Girls' Generation - Love & Peace


Thank you for reading this guide!  Please watch over us fondly!

6 comments:

  1. Tiffany, thanks for the 101.

    But I think you forgot to mention how as a k-netizen, you should always talk in a calm and rational manner. It's very important to keep your Corean Kraziness™ inside of you and never let it out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tiffany doesn't care about k-netizens, just like every other rational person.

      Delete
    2. Nobody cares about the pissed retarded minority in Korea either, yet we talk about it.

      Delete
  2. Hey Tiffany..
    BlackPink has kidnapped Sunny...they want 1 million dollars for her. Will you arrange for her rescue?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Why did I read it in a valley girl voice the whole time?

    ReplyDelete