Sunday, August 21, 2016

Yang Hyun Suk's Guide to Promoting Black Pink


As you know, one of the ways for Kpop groups to become really popular is to promote in other avenues aside from music. It's how Kpop lures us all in for the long haul. However, Yang Hyun Suk has found an ingenious way to promote his new group.



In the new generation of girl groups, the ones at the top are Twice, GFriend, Red Velvet and now Black Pink. In the second tier, there's Lovelyz (which is a shame tbh lbr since they are the most consistent group) and Oh My Girl. The third tier is populated by a lot of groups that have the chance to shine because of certain members or the success of groups in their parent company.

You'll see many of these groups have their members MCing music shows, appearing on variety shows, bombarding us with CFs, holding V-Lives, branching out into acting, etc. For example, Twice is everywhere and is undoubtedly this generation's girl group to beat. GFriend has been sweeping the music shows this year and the members are increasingly appearing on various variety shows. With Red Velvet, Irene is carrying the group on her back at the moment, but Joy has been in WGM and Yeri has MCed.

Where does this leave Black Pink? Fucking nowhere. They have no schedules except to collect trophies on Inkigayo because of course Inkigayo gives trophies to YG artists just because. However, Black Pink still has to have good sales and a fan base to win on Inkigayo, so how does Yang Hyun Suk do it?

1. Deprive VIPs and Blackjacks of music from their favorite groups

The easiest way for YG to do anything is to build up the image of the "YG Family". Unfortunately, there are a lot of Kpop fans who like YG groups because they act black. Bobby has the hip-hop culture down with his prohibition on showering and GD and Bom love drugs. That's not to say all black people don't know what soap is and use marijuana to bathe (or if any at all, but people will now blame me for creating this new image).

Since the majority of YG artists have the "urban/hip-hop/R&B/yoloswag bullshit" cornered in the idol game, fans of one YG group will naturally gravitate towards another YG group. So, in step one, deprive the two main groups' fans of any music for years.

2. Hype the debut of your new girl group for years and years and years

Was it 2012 or 2013 when YG started hyping up the new girl group? I don't remember, but I remember that it was a long-ass time ago. When fans are anticipating a new girl group for years, in combination with 2NE1 not doing anything aside from CL having God-awful songs in the U.S., YG fans will be thirstier for a song from a girl group than I would be if it was announced that a Han Ye Seul x Victoria lesbian porno would be released.

3. Take advantage of the idiocy of YG fans

I shouldn't have to explain this after five years of doing it.

4. ?????

??????

5. PROFIT

This is how Black Pink has been so successful already. Once they move on from having Teddy producing "music" for them will they have a shot of making me a fan (the girls are hot, unlike 2NE1, so they're 50% of the way to making me a fan, but I cannot get on board with more yoloswag bullshit from YG).

26 comments:

  1. Yang oppar looks like a frog.

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  2. It work's, I can't stop listen to Boombayah and Whistle...

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    1. Boombayah & whistle are drilled into my cerebellum, same with 'Lifted', the lyrics in particular are like earworm. "hey you get off my cloud. You dont know me and u dont know my style"...What a polite way to tell someone to get the fuck outta my face & let me live my life :P

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  3. Apart from their music, I have to applaude YG for finding such fine specimens

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  4. Replies
    1. Everyday I show up...blow up.

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    2. Bom Bom
      Every time you show up throw up uh

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    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    4. Everyday I show up... blow.

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  5. I have to be honest, I don't get why anyone saw anything in Lovelyz before Achoo. Their old music is so boring and typical, I never noticed them until Achoo's chorus. And then Destiny came out, and it was great, and now I like them (but still, unless you had a thing for prepubescent looking girls saying 'You're the best ever come in my life," I don't see how you could have liked them)

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    1. That'smyfetish.png

      The debut song was great, next couple were forgettable

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    2. I did like Goodnight Like yesterday now that I went back and listened to it, but yeah the others are very bland

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    3. I really liked Hi~ but my taste in music is questionably impeccable.

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    4. They are all too cute, with the three exceptions that are more adult looking. Candy jelly love is the best.

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    5. I was looking forward to Lovelyz simply because of Baby Soul's songs that she released in 2011 and 2012. I still wish Woolim debuted her as a duo with the other Yoo Jia, but they fucked that one up completely.

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  6. Winner won it in 5 days and look at them now

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    1. True true. Do they even do anything anymore?

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  7. In the next generation groups are going to win music shows before they even debuted.

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  8. Ok but lets be honest. Literally 0 groups are promoting something worthwhile right now. I dont want to be the "robbing an empty house" jerk, but Black Pink really hasnt done anything noteworthy besides dance well; something every girl group theyre competing against already does. And as long as they keep Jisoo around, they'll be at the bottom tier dance-wise.
    Their fans really need to chill with the whole #LegendsOnly #EndingCareers nonsense
    Plus, missles do not whistle. And neither do bombs.

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    1. there are many types of fans. ppl can think what they want & call their biases queens/kings whatever out of endearment, but so long as they arent trying to backhand comment other groups in the same sentence, then its all good. i cant wait for school to start so that all the fanwar creators aka children, can stop the retarded ass trending tweets like "---party". `Get off the internet, do your homework & just leave kpop alone.

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    2. BP's noteworthy trait for me would be the the kinda ok club song 'Boombayah' ('Whistle' is fucking garbage so idgaf), Gfriend already set up the dancing bar pretty high I guess so theirs look kinda meh.

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    3. Actually, certain bombs and missiles during WWII were purposely fitted with whistles to mess with enemy morale and scare the shit out of them.

      Maybe YG, in all it's edgy glory, was trying to send a message to other groups with this, because I don't know why else you'd put it in your pop song. Maybe I should look at the lyrics before commenting about it, but I'm a netizen, and facts and research don't mean shit to us.

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    4. Yeah no. I love Gfriend as much as anyone, but they set 0 bars for dancing. Theyre good dancers, yes, but so are TWICE. Yes, their formations are interesting, but so are WSJN's. Yes, theyre in sync, but so is OMG. Yes, they have difficult choreo, but so does Red Velvet. Plus, as individual dancers, SinB doesnt really match up to Seulgi, Momo, Mimi, Irene, YooA, Cheng Xiao, or really any other main dancers in these new groups. If you want to talk about setting the bar, you have to go back to Afterschool who have yet to be topped.

      As for whistling missles, YG's lyricists couldnt have looked that deep considering how they also came up with every one of the English raps in their Japanese singles.

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  9. YG's idea of promotion is nothing short of trolling his hardcore stands to get them thirsting for more. Which as an admitted once fan of 2NE1 and BB does make me sad, and also makes me sad for the future of his currently mismanaged groups.

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  10. I forgot you were a racist

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