Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Difference Between Fangirls: Dissection of the Horde.

This is friglet. I'm a new author for the blog and i'm about to write a fucking essay as is custom to pop my AKFG cherry. Shall we get to know each other a bit before we start courting? Alright then.

First off, this is to the bitchy fangirls that come to this blog. Out of all our authors i'm probably the closest to being your best friend. Why? Well, I had a very dark past...

I was once...once...an obsessive DBSK cassie! Yes, FOR SHAME. But, I was 14 back then and most 14 year old kpop fans are retarded as well. To the fans of this blog, i'm like an ex-convict. I've been to the dark side and now i'm back. But I did my time so please don't judge ;).

Now, to the fangirls, I've been in the fandom system, I know it well. If you read my posts on articles there are times when I actually defend an artist. So yeah, i'm not all 'MUAHAHAHA" evil. And now, for those fangirls that bitch and moan that we're blindly hating on you guys, I have come to help. Why help you? I don't know, maybe so you'll understand that us authors here KNOW what the fuck we're talking about. Now, for the fanboys, i'm about to break down the giant group that is "fangirls" so that you'll know and so fangirls know which sections we're hatin' on.


1.) N00bs - these fangirls have just found out about kpop and have started posting on kpop sites. You can spot them out by their lack of knowledge and stupid remarks/comebacks. They only know about a small group of kpop artists and think their favorite group was formed by God himself to bless our virgin ears with the best music in the universe. So they're quick to defend. HOWEVER, they're so new that they don't completely understand fan-wars and shit like that. So their comebacks are the weakest and will consist of basic name calling.


2.) Delusional fanatics - now, this group is the worst. They're the fans that have known kpop for about a year or so. They know other kpop groups, but they still think their group is the shit. These are the fangirls that we at AKFG hate on the most. These fans have done back research on their group by now and they're the ones that bump up their comeback attacks by posting stupid youtube videos trying to prove how oh-so-awesome their kpop boyband/girlgroup is. But alas! These girls are also the ones other fangirls want least to associate themselves with! Now, we'll deal with these crazies on the forums, but alot of fans try to pull the "i don't know that trick!" card behind their backs on multi-fandom sites (i.e. allkpop, soompi, omona, whatevs). Why? They're fucking embarrassing.


3.) Mellow fans - this is the group i'm in. These fangirls have been in kpop for years (3 and up). They have exhausted themselves out of the first two catagories. Mellow fans are the fans that like their group, but are still sane enough to call them out when their songs suck or their outfits are hideous. They don't start arguments because they've now been able to balance kpop with normal life and now see how pointless arguments over fandoms are. We know how to support our groups without obsessing because it's creepy to know everything about another person besides yourself. They can laugh at themselves and take a joke at their artists without busting an ovary. But don't think that we're boring as fuck! If you throw the occasional epic picture of our idols in our face, we'll be all over that shit. But it doesn't last. We know when to regain our composure. Let's just say we fangirl over stuff just enough to still blend in with the fandom and not be outcasted.


4.) Elitists - this is the final group. They are the girls that n00bs and delusionals look up to and the ones mellow fans roll our eyes at. This group never became exhausted from being delusional, but they did grow in age. Girls in this group are usually in their mid to older twenties and look down on all other fangirls. They have obsessed and squealed for years over their kpop group and now keep this facade of being calm whenever their artist drops a new album or photo, but it's just that they've fangirled so much that they're used to the basic pattern artists go through and have become a bit numb to the effect. This group deserves more hate because they think they own their fandom. They believe that without them, the fandom would totally have a hole. They're on a whole nother level of delusion than your basic stupid fangirl.


So there. I broke it down for you. Here on the blog, when we say we hate fangirls, really we're mostly talking about all groups above except the mellows. Now stop bitching.

57 comments:

  1. But where do fanfics come in? That shit creeps me out.

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  2. Surprisingly accurate...I'm impressed. It chronicled my development as a k-pop fan quite well considering how rough the approximations and groupings were.

    Nice 1st article!

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  3. ^
    ^
    Delusional, since they usually involve OTPs.

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  4. I like this post...cause I like categories. But I can't get over the fact that you put they're as their...sorry, nerding out here. don't mind me...

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  5. Awesome fucking article.
    I feel like you need to add another group though. 'Mellow fappers' (for Chuck). He's realistic and fits into the third category, but put up a picture of Soyeon and...
    ...fup fup fup

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  6. WOW awesome entry! I've started to become sick of allkpop & other kpop sites because of the flooded trolls out there on every freaking article of their favorite "idol". I also admit I was an avid DBSK/cassie fan for like 5 years ago but as time goes by kpop "fans" have become just uhhh...I can't stand them anymore. i'm definitely a mellow fan I still listen and check out the new updates on kpop but I don't go crazy and start fanwars and trolling kpop sites. It's just sooo immature really like GET A LIFE! BUT THANK GOD I've found this site! whoever started this blog is GENIUS!!! finally!!! some mature and intellectual people and are also a kpop fan.

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  7. thanks everyone ;)
    @david: yeah, i should elaborate more on the mellow group cuz charles fits in it. mellow fans aren't TOTALLY boring, we still have our moments ;D. if you gave me a picture of bora's legs it'll be SO ON.

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  8. HI NEW BEST FRIEND. I THINK I LOVE YOU.

    Also I need to pop my AKFG cherry too but I'm scurred.

    @아저씨
    There are fanfics from every category, I think. The n00bs write that really horrible shit that no one reads, delusionals write the really heavy shit and believe with all their fangirl might that it's real, mellow fans write shit without going all "MY OTP IS REAL" on you, elitists think they shit out golden words.

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  9. ^WHAT UP FRIEND! yeah i don't know you but still, nice to meet you since you're a new author like me ^^. also, i think your fanfic categories are pretty accurate. but i think mellows troll people more with their fanfics. first off, they'll be the least likely to write a fanfic in the first place, but when they do, they seem to be funny fanfics. it seems more like they like to write and write about their fandoms because they have an audience NOT like the other groups that do it backwards (they have an audience -like certain OTP fans- and decide to take a crack at writing because it fulfills their own fantasies.

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  10. okay edited the mellow section a bit ;).

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  11. I dont fall under any of these.Or maybe between mellow and delusional fanatic.
    I spazz about my favs but im not blinded or so obsessed that I brown nose them and everything they do.
    I think my age helps in that, being a delusional 22 year old kpop fangirl is not a good look for me.

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  12. I definitely see plenty of delusional fanatic type fangirls on 6theory's forums.

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  13. I am under the I ONLY WATCH GIRL GROUPS TO FAP category. I think we are a special few, but a great few.

    Also, I am a blackjack, but have never fapped to any member of 2NE1 because my lollipop would go on FIRE! IF you try to follow me in the bathroom, you'd surely clap your hands to my ability to fap only to SULLI and sometimes HYOYEON (cause I feel like no one does).

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  14. Good read. I can already tell you're one of the more intelligent writers. Some of the writers on this site either try too hard, aren't old enough to write a good article, or are too stupid to write an article as well articulated as yours. anon your no.1 fan friglet!

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  15. a mellow fan would say, i love big bang but daesung is still a killer

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  16. too many cooks spoil the broth :p

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  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  18. Accurate post. Thank you.

    Was a former Elitist and now a mellow fan. I was exactly what you describe as an Elitist and then I snapped out of it. I still love my bias in that certain group, which I will not name, but started to dislike/hate a particular member. I look back on those days and realize, I don't and shouldn't have give a f*ck on those arguements and stuff. Now I'm more laid-back and turned to mock delusional fanatics.

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  19. This sounds like a nature documentary but it's true.

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  20. I'm a mellow fan, but I still argue from time to time.

    If someone is ignorant as fuck then I may argue with them, 'cause I feel like it. Otherwise I'm just like w/e.

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  21. I'm a mellow fan. Was totally a delusional fan a few years back. Glad I snapped out of that.

    It's funny how all my friends think I would get all agitated if they insult my bias group, but I'll be like, "Er.. Okay."

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  22. good first post, great exposition of the mysterious and often menacing world of kpop fandoms.

    ps. sulli_fag, I really hope you used hyoyeon's name in order to get that 'no one' pun in there and weren't being serious...

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  23. Nice first post and welcome to the blog! :)
    & lol I don't fit in any of the categories.
    I guess I'm an anomaly :(

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  24. Love this post
    I'm in the mellow category, been a fan for 5 years
    So true, elitists are annoying

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  25. agree with this post, I think every fan starts from noobs to either stop in delusional, mellow, or elitist.
    I think I belong to mellow category, now I prefer to enjoy kpop for myself rather than going around searching for someone to spazz with, especially with the newly hallyu wave that swept everyone here, it's hard to find fellow mellow fans.

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  26. I was a Bigbang elitist back then. Turned into a mellow fan in 2 months. Quick, eh?

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  27. I'm actually shocked at how accurate this article is. Being a Kpop stalker for 4 years now, I've pretty much chronicled through all of the stages, so now, I'm a mellow fan.

    I love Super Junior, SNSD, 2PM, and all the big groups, a lot, but it's safe to say that only half the people in any given group are attractive or can sing or are interesting in general. MR Removed videos really showed me that. I hate it so much when a group outright sucks singing live, but the fangirls all coo "SOO GOOD! But the ickiness must've been from the mics and the dancing was too hard.. Stupid SM."

    ....Bottom line is, they just suck.

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  28. Mellow fan....but I pass all the other phases...After 6 years LOL.
    I`m really still a fan of a lot of K-pop bands and groups...but I got exhausted about crazy and delusional fangirls, fanboys and antis. And I conclude than they need a life...really...people are so crazy.They think than their idols are so perfect.... A moth ago I found this blog and I really like it, is awesome
    I`m a realistic person so for me K-pop groups and bands are no the best of the world, they are good and so-so.
    Really good article

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  29. "Elitists" are fucking horrible. They are worse than 14 year old SONE (noob or "Elitist"). 'Cause at least they (14 year old SONEs) have their age as an excuse. I got into many verbal fights (on the computer, of course, these fools wouldn't dare speak to my face) with "Elitists". One Cassie was 25 years old. Bitch grow the hell up.
    I have known about K-Pop for 6 years now (Big fan of SHINee, or "GAYNee" as some say, lol), and I still don't know most shit. Nor do I care, I'm the kind of fan that just like some of songs in K-Pop.
    I'm more of a "Mellow" fan I guess. I just listen to songs I like. Don't care too know more then necessary of the group (like why should anyone care about what their "ideal girl" is? It's not you).

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  30. ^YES ELITIST SUCK THE MOST!there are acouple of main ones that i know of that NEED TO STOP.
    shinee fandom - shane!
    soshi fandom - soy!
    dbsk fandom - sanbi!

    i wish i knew more D:<!

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  31. Maybe im mellow, i mean i love me some big bang but gd in a skirt, taeyangs hairstyle and top's bottom row of teeth...

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  32. "Mellow fans are the fans that like their group, but are still sane enough to call them out when their songs suck or their outfits are hideous."

    yes yes yes yes!!!!! I'm so in this group im a big Big Bang and BEAST but i certainly have no problem throwing tomatoes at them when their new material/outfits/etc SUCK!!!

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  33. holy crap. that was spot on. though i've never heard of such "elitist " fans before.

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  34. @davidfresh
    MELLOW FAPPERS FTW!!!!

    i was a noob and delusional for a year, i think...thank god i met some people who think like the people here sooner than i expected...

    elitists are the worst, since they have a horde of noobs and delusionals who back them up...i only know one hardcore elitist(Soy) and i had dreams of beating him up(seriously)...

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  35. SOY IS A GUY? HOLY FUCK LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

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  36. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH SOY BEING A GUY HE JUST ISNT A SEXIST BASTARD LIKE YOU AND KNOWS THAT THE POWER OF NINE IS THE DEEP MAGIC THAT BROUGHT ASLAN BACK AND NOW YOURE MAD BECAUSE WE BEAT YOUR ICE KINGDOM OF HATE SO STOP HATING YOU STUPID FUCK AND JUST LOVE SNSD BECAUSE THEY PROVE THAT LOVE ALWAYS WINS WHEN THEY SHAKE THEIR ASSES TO A TAXI SONG

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  37. WOAH! i thought Soy was a girl! she even posted on soompi defending that she wasn't a lesbian. lol she said that she doesn't like boys dancing in pajamas (super junior if you didn't know) but she liked REAL men like jang dong gun and others. but...what the fuck! if soy is a boy...what a troll XD!

    also, i remember when soy got mad a t-ara's forum for "stealing" soshi's site layout. bitch wasn't even a tech admin or worked on the graphics! what a funny elitist.

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  38. lol @July 20, 2011 12:18 AM

    since when are people too young to have opinions ? that's all these articles are - our opinions written out. just thought i'd ask lol. age has nothing to do with it[x

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  39. on another note , hey it's cool to see you as an author now friglet ! good debut article , and welcome to the team.

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  40. goddamn i thought Soy was a girl too .
    you guys should make a post about Soy too lol

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  41. This is my first and probably last time commenting here ('cause some of you all are just dirty jerks haha). I've held my tongue on other articles, but this one needs to be addressed.

    "NOTHER" is NOT a word it is either "another level" or "a whole other level." Spread the truth and the world will be a better place.


    Thank you from an always mellow fan.
    (Well sometimes I act like a delusional noob offline for fun. Sarcasm is a blast!)

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  42. just checked her facebook page, Soy is a girl *shinfo*

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  43. SOY IS A GIRL? that might explain her elitist mentality(is there even a well-known male elitist? i really want to know)...

    boy or girl, i still want to beat the shit out of him/her...

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  44. @bassfreak gonna join you there. Ima dougie on her corpse. OH FUCKING YEAH.

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  45. Awesome breakdown of the types of fangirls! I loved your post.

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  46. Lol I've only been into kpop for 9 months but I've always been a mellow fan...

    but maybe thats because i'm a guy.

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  47. When it comes to rabid K-pop fans, the likes of John Nelou Rabe are Elitists who hate their country of origin.

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  48. Great article! I was once too a dbsk fan & been their fan/known kpop since their debut (i was 13 back then), even tho i'm mellow now its hard to have friends who just started kpop and they nuts bloody hell I will have a heart attack soon

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  49. That human excrement Soy needs to be properly curb stomped.

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  50. 1. Nate News/Pan
    2. Daum
    3. DCinside
    4. Bestiz/ in their own hermit weird ass website eg)Shakizi
    among Korean fangirls at least
    그러하다

    SOY IS A GUY??? WTF????

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  51. I'm in the mellow fangirls category. Awesome. Even though I've only know Kpop for less than a year, I know when to admit something sucks. Like hoot. Or the new super junior concept photo. My cousin is the elitist. Pisses me off. "but suju's new concept is soooo hot!" bullshit.

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  52. I HAVE A QUESTION - is it possible to be a Mellow Fangirl while only knowing about K-pop for like... a year?

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  53. wow, I have no life. This article was posted a year ago, and i read through (almost) all of the articles and got here. wow. I have NO Life haha
    anyway, interesting article XD

    Is it possible to be category nr 1 and 3,
    but still be sorta obsessive, but not hardcore yknow? lol
    IDK, I'm just a no lifer :T

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  54. I'm a mellow fangirl. Ok, but sometimes I spazz, but after like 10-15 min. I calm down, my friend is a noob...it irritates me, I don't even tell her about K-pop news anymore. This is probably the only article I'll actually agree with, because a majority of this site is shit. And the authors are total assholes. I usually like groups cause their music, and personality. Looks hardly play a part in my opinion. Well, back to me (narcissistic I know), I got my band CD and I was more excited for the music being downloaded to my ipod then the photo album it came with. While my friend(the noob) kept stealing my albums to look at their pictures. I think she might become an etlist or what ever that's spelled. (sorry for the long comment. I have a lot to say, lol)

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