Saturday, February 20, 2016

GFriend Exposes a Hilarious (and Horrifying) Belief Of Korean Teenagers


Who would've thought it would have been GFriend to spawn this ...

So GFriend was on a show called "My Little Television" where the group went to a guy's house and found toilet paper next to his computer. The jokes write themselves, and the GFriend members were not shy in making some non-extreme fap jokes. Now when I first heard this, I laughed because, well, a group like GFriend making fap jokes is funny. Of course, nothing can be enjoyed these days without people on Pann bitching about how problematic it is.

However, the comments are a step above the regular idiocy that we've come to expect ...

Specifically: 

1. [+579, -45] Everyone laughed it off but I cringed the whole way through. They're basically indirectly talking about a man's masturbation habits. Girlfriend was only able to get away with it because they're girls but if the genders were reversed, they would've gotten tons of hate. Imagine if Girlfriend were boys and they found a cucumber on a woman's desk and they kept asking her "Why is there here? Do you really need this? Were you going to use this to eat or use as a face mask?" they would've gotten tons of hate.

5. [+106, -3] I don't know why people find this cute. Switch the genders for a second. If a man had found a cucumber on a woman's desk and the man kept reading the chat and saying stuff like, "I have no idea why this cucumber is here! Did you put it here to eat later?" that male idol would've been exiled already.

10. [+37, -0] To all the stupid Girlfriend fans trying to shield this, would you like it if a male idol came into your room and saw a pen on your desk and started accusing you of masturbation? Asking you if you really use it only for studying~ why is there a pen here~ can we throw it away? Do you really need this pen? You'd feel embarrassed just like that man did.

WHAT THE FUCK????

Okay, let's backtrack for a minute. To any Korean speakers out there: Is cucumber or pen slang for dildo in Korean, or are netizens really that stupid that they actually think women masturbate with vegetables and writing utensils???

The reason I ask is because awhile ago a video of pre-debut Lovelyz Kei went viral of her singing into a glue stick. A lot of people had clicked on the video because someone titled it "Glue Stick Girl," and in Korea, girls will buy glue sticks to masturbate with. 


I'm not going to say these comments are all coming from males (even though, to be honest, I hope none of these people who comment are women who actually shove vegetables up their vaginal canals) or claim that these are women pretending to be idiot males (which actually seems more plausible). I'm just going to go with they've been believing way too much odd porn. Look, watching porn is fine and all, but if there is one thing even the biggest porn addicts will say, it's: Don't let it be your sex ed.

I mean, I was taught that horrid "Sex Ed + Abstinence" class, and we still talked about the do's and don'ts of masturbation, like cleanliness, safety etc.

Sure if I sat around all day and watched nothing but porn where women shove vegetables and other objects up their vaginal canals, then I might actually start to believe that shit, but someone has to be teaching these kids that porn is just a fantasy right?

If not, I'll just say this: The typical form of masturbation favored by females from what I've learned from books and what many of my friends, who are female, say are fingers, dildos and/or vibrators that are made specifically for stimulating the clitoris. I've heard of some girls rubbing the clitoris with a vibrating toothbrush, but that's about as far. Not shoving fucking vegetables and pens up there.The glue stick made my eyebrows widen, but a fucking cucumber is pretty much the most random thing anyone could have pulled from their ass (literally).


I'm not saying that no woman masturbates with a cucumber; however, considering the other things to use that are way more pleasurable, I don't see it as a common method. To each their own. 

If anyone is offended by the fact I just talked about female masturbation, please grow the fuck up.

Also, the part about "If a boy group went through a girl groups things he would be exiled" is kind of a lie. A lot of people were pointing out that on shows like "Roommate," a lot of male idols will go through a female idols things and get absolutely no negative feedback. Also, I'm pretty sure at the rate these fandoms are going if a male idol were to make masturbation jokes about a female idol and she reacted negatively, the hate would go to her for "overreacting." I'll change this opinion when this happens and netizens don't witch hunt a female idol for once.

28 comments:

  1. never thought I'd have to talk about this… but I still don't understand the idea of veggie masturbation. Seems like lodging that shit up there would hurt more than it would pleasure due to the size and texture of the object, when fingers are wayyy more convenient

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    1. Also who the fuck would fap with a pen. Too sharp.

      lol koreans sound even more lost as far as sexuality goes than we do and our sex ed in this country can be absolute crap if you live in a conservative state

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  2. If GFriend had been all pretend-innocent about it, netizens would have been like oh, they are so stupid and naive, don't they know anything about men etc.

    Despite South Korea's conservative reputation, that country is one of the biggest exporters of sex toys in the world.

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  3. Pretty sure the point isn't that it has to be a pen or cucumber.

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    1. I'm not sure what you mean.
      Like I said if it's slang for dildo then I guess it's okay but then again I don't really understand why someone would leave a dildo out in the open on a show like this.

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    2. He's saying that the the cucumber/pen wasn't relevant to their point

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  4. "If a guy did this then..."

    Then they would probably find a way to turn it into the girl being a literal whore because it's motherfucking South Korea. Let's be real, the country is sexist as fuck and guy idols get absolutely every single pass in the book while girl idols have to be literally perfect or a grudge will be held against them forever (see: Kara, T-ara). That's one of the big reasons we started this site, because we were basically not allowed to have pro-female-idol views anywhere else without getting into a bitchfest. It has been very very verrrrrrry slowly coming around for years, but moronic responses like this shows the delulu wave is still quite strong in Korea for anything related to gender relations.

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    1. ^^^^^^ THANK YOU. As I said in the article, if a male idol did this and the female idol reacted negatively, netizen responses would be something like "OMG she overreacted!!!" I'm not fucking kidding.

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    2. Fuck, your comment is everything. If a female idol breathes she's being bitchy, if she wears shorts she's a fucking whore, but if an oppa says/does something actually offensive "he apologized and is really sorry for his actions".

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    3. Oh please. Henry got a shit ton of comments about sniffing Nana undies on Roommate. You people act like this puritanical idiocy stops at girl groups. If they are getting more petty bullshit from fan girls it's because of competition and jealousy. It's not about sexism. The "fandoms" are predominately female.

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    4. Oh please. Henry got a shit ton of comments about sniffing Nana undies on Roommate. You people act like this puritanical idiocy stops at girl groups. If they are getting more petty bullshit from fan girls it's because of competition and jealousy. It's not about sexism. The "fandoms" are predominately female.

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    5. Who are sexist to other females.

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  5. Replies
    1. Why is this sticky?
      It's a glue stick, duh.
      It doesn't seem like you ever took the cap off...
      (;;O_O)

      Delete
  6. Ahh, some nice masturbation jokes. Time for me to go actually watch their music videos!

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  7. Didn't we get an STFU about a cucumber a while back?

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    1. No, it was about a TORCH or a lightstick, if I remember correctly. That was hilarious.

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    2. Yeah wasn't it someone using a flashlight attached to a kris poster?

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  8. I know girls who have admitted to veg masturbation. Just saying.

    Definitely a minority though.

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    1. Yeah, I'm not denying that some women do it it's not immensely popular. Like that wouldn't be the first thing a whole lot of women would jump to.

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  9. Lol I live for gfriend

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  10. Those comments aren't just stupid but also wrong. It is not true that if the roles were reversed the effect would be the same. Just picture a male idol visiting a female room. He finds a pen on the desk (what a weird and inappropriate place for a pen!) and say something like: "Hey what do you do with this pen? ;)". She would obviously answer: "I write with it. That's what pens are for".
    Now, who would look like a perv between the two in this scenario?

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  11. I like gfriend more now that I know they are not actually robots and can make normal dirty jokes like everybody else.

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  12. Well I guess vegans have to use cucumbers no?

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  13. "women masturbate with vegetables and writing utensils"

    I have really bad news for you, bro.

    We do.

    See the cucumbers at the movie theatre image in the comments section of the link.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Actually, the video is way more entertaining than this article lets on... Sowon (who finds the toilet paper by the computer) lifts it up and asks its owner why it's there. His face is hilarious already, he comes up with "Better you don't know." But meanwhile, Yerin (who has an older brother, unlike Sowon) is already about to bust a gut laughing, she knows! Later she says, "I'm so embarrassed!" and Sowon (bless her innocent soul) asks "Why? What are you embarrassed about?" And I'm on the floor laughing and choking.

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    1. Note: that's Yerin in the 2nd pic, with the skateboard and white sneakers. I'd marry her in a heartbeat, she's smart and totally fun, unlike Sowon, who is the leader of Gfriend, and has to keep things under control...

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