Sunday, February 28, 2016

Sunday Shitpost #13

What's up UCAADs? A lot of news to cover this week in the Sunday Shitpost.

News Story #1: Jessica finishes recording solo album

I personally can't wait. Watch it top the charts because of all of her international fans while Koreans cry-fap to the album. They'll bitch about it on Nate while listening to the albums on full blast while fapping/fingering themselves to Jessica's jacket photos.

News Story #2: Moonbyul confirms that she's a lesbian

Moonbyul states "I personally really like hearing that we are the 'girl crush.'"

Using my innate Korean logical thinking, this confirms that Moonbyul is a lesbian. Given that Moonbyul is a fan of Krystal, who is a major lesbian herself, this totally makes sense and I am rolling with it.

News Story #3: CLC's new member tries to be in a group and on Produce 101 at the same time

I don't follow "Produce 101" at all, but there's always so many articles about them. I don't see how people are complaining about this at all (if people are even complaining, as I said, I don't follow this show, but we're talking about the K-pop fandom here) since some Dia members are also in the show.

News Story #4: Hyoyeon to hold a lecture about beauty

This article has to be a joke, right?

News Story #5: Hani to take a break from varieties

Not that I really care since I don't watch very many varieties (just the group-centered ones for the most part), but this is probably the best for Hani, who has been overexposed. I can't follow K-pop as closely as I did a couple of years ago, but whenever I'm reading Soompi, it's rare to go a day without an article about Hani.

News Story #6: A new girl group, Princess, is gearing for debut

This is a new group from a newly formed agency, so who knows how it will turn out. However, I have generally liked a lot of the new girl groups to come out since Red Velvet debuted, so maybe the group will be good.

News Story #6: Yura has a horrible diet and Jang Hyuk gives her good advice

Yura has a shitty dieting plan, but luckily all-around badass Jang Hyuk was around to give her better advice.

"Eat and exercise," was the gist of it.

Therefore, I have a new regimen to recommend to Yura. Jack me and suck me off and swallow. She'll get a protein shake from me after her workout.


  1. The last sentence tho. Savage ��

  2. "Girls’ Generation’s Hyoyeon to Hold a Lecture on Beauty" AHAHAHHAHA
    Hyogre was the first girl in K-pop I found truly ugly.

    1. She's come a long way though.
      Looks damn hot in 2016.

    2. A big round of applause for SM's stylists and plastic surgeons.

    3. @Max Step; I keep hearing that from hyoglodite fans and it just makes me laugh every time.

    4. I do the same when I see similar comments to yours, No :)

    5. >Hyoyeon haters failing to realize it's about the pressures to be beautiful and not a guide on how to be beautiful by Hyoyeon

      Stay mad and jealous.

  3. Hani has literally had like what? Five articles written about her everyday since her fancam went viral. Lord knows what that type of exposure has done to her.

  4. I want to try Produce 101 but that type of show makes me want to stab out my own eyeballs with a rusty spoon

    who's been watching and what have I missed out on

    1. A million replays of the same shit that makes the scene unfunny as hell. A shit ton of crying scenes that I wish I can cry at with but sadly my black soul reigns supreme. A bunch of screen thirsty girls being over the top for screen time. And this one chick that never shuts up and gets more screen time cause after scissoring the creator of the show. My bad. Thats geun suk. Unfortunately I'm addicted now.

    2. "A million replays of the same shit that makes the scene unfunny as hell." - This is exactly why most Korean shows are utterly fucking unwatchable.