Sunday, January 11, 2015

2015: A New Year Brings New Authors!

The Admins at Anti Kpop Fangirl spent many a late night sifting through what seemed to be an infinite pile of applications. Buzzing on high amounts of caffeine, we admins ploughed through cringeworthy humour, bland prose, eye-wateringly awful grammar, and the phrase "ovaries explode". The mission to find new authors to help us spread the Gospel of Han Ye Seul seemed impossible - something that only Tom Cruise could complete with the help of his Scientologist Mothership.

As we were at the end of our tether, two glowing apparitions appeared in front of us. What was it? Had Aerum finally figured out a way to teleport herself to the AKF headquarters and sacrifice us to the spirit of her stillborn niece/nephew? Were Choa and Way coming to cut us because they are #ThugMisses? Or was it the coffee? Zaku thought that it was his OTP, KorraSami, inviting him to an orgy in the Spirit World. But it wasn't, it was the glowing applications of Sohyunna and PTS_Sr.

They were to be our salvations! It was a revelation almost as holy as Moses' encounter with a celestial burning bush!

So, welcome to our new authors Sohyunna and PTS_Sr who are currently on a two-month probationary period at AKF. If they make it through the blood, guts and gore of slaying delusional fangirls, then they will be able to take the blood vow and become official members of the Han Ye Seul cult. 

So please, don't eat them and look forward to their articles.

- akisame

22 comments:

  1. Gotta find those compelling debuts. Errybody knows oppars can't go on forever.

    Except Kpopalypse, he's JYP or something.

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    Replies
    1. I'm gonna start putting my name in really small text in the headers of everyone else's posts.

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    2. You're giving me nightmares.

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    3. If you think that's bad, wait until he starts wearing transparent clothing.

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  2. Sohyunna is a shit name, try harder.

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    Replies
    1. We should be friends, Post Traumatic Stress Senior

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    2. What's your name meant to be? Sohyun + Hyuna?

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    3. It is supposed to be a portmanteau of Sohyun and the word 'hunna' popularised by the modern day hero Chief Keef.

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  3. Congrats on your debut oppar/unnier please work hard to showcase a positive hard working image, Hwaiting~ (^o^)O

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  4. >it wasn't Korrasami

    Why even live

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  5. Thanks for the welcome, Akisame!

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  6. I don't even want to imagine how much butthole sniffing and licking in the huge AKF office complex building must have been going on during those "casting" nights!

    Since this is a site-related post; Where did the K-pop news link/frame go?

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    Replies
    1. You're talking about the Kpop Recap stuff, right? The guy who ran that site stopped doing it, so we deleted the links.

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    2. We got Fany's worst of k-pop or whatever now so we don't need it anyway. Fany will keep us up to date!

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    3. Thanks for the explanation.

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  7. male fanservice and you're good in my book

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  8. Replies
    1. Here: https://twitter.com/Patrish_af

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    2. Yeah, I followed you recently. https://twitter.com/newworld_beyond

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