Monday, February 3, 2014

Crayon Pop: A Mystery?!?!

Hi!

As some of you know I used to write here years ago and discuss KPOP, women, and buttholes, but those days have long passed and are honestly over. I'm a changed man now--a true believer of Jesus Christ--the father, the son, and the holy ghost--and a speaker of his words. He is the truth, the way, and the light, you know. 

Ezekiel said it best, "Oh to the mountains I climb and Christ washes me with his towel of golden showers and places me on the lake of forgiveness." If only I can get some of that Golden Shower right now. Please rain on me...Oh Glorious one! CHANGE ME!

Speaking of change, I should never have written such perverse things on AKF Blog. What if my mum finds out!?  Or my dad!?! They'd be furious! FUCK!

:( Alas, God knows all so there is no hiding the things I have done! I'm doomed to hell...hand in hand with Hitler and Justin Beiber! Oh well, this perverse talk was just a ruse to get people to read stuff on this site anyways...surely I'd be forgiven but maybe not :( OK, it wasn't a ruse...but I'm a changed man now. No more perverse articles! NO MORE! Bless you!

It's time to stop acting like a huge pervert and just tell you about my recent day with Crayon Pop in a PG manner.

If you are interested and love Jesus please click on READ MORE. If you don't love Jesus first convert to Christianity, learn the 10 commandments by heart, then read this blog post.

So here we go:
My day with Crayon Pop (No cursing or perverse thoughts will be stated in this blog post...if you like that please go to ALLKPOP, do not pass go and do not collect $200).



10/05/2013:
MORNING:

Woke up to find this staring at me:
I sprung out of my bed when I found this headless female staring at me. I was horrified. EEEKK!!! THE BLOODD!!

Was it Choa? Was it Way? I can never tell by simply looking at their fucking faces.

Physically, I can figure out who is who, but with just a head this is going to be hard.

Let me think (HMMMM): One has huger tits while the other has a much tighter  pussy vagina, I know this for a fact! But, again sticking my dick in her vagina will not work to find out which twin this is: my dick is super small too, so the difference is almost unnoticeable...ALMOST! Also, she's headless so she has no vagina!

Ha! Bet you didn't think of that!


Also why was, "FUCK YOU" written in blood!? I need to investigate this shit. CSI: MIAMI style!

I needed to start the investigation. Needed to find out who did this and why?

I had no choice but to find out first which TWIN this was--and I had no glow light to check for semen.

yehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


I found out which twin it was by Seeing how far my penis would go into this dead girl's mouth! I've had tons of BJ's from these girls---several times together so I can figure this out easily but OMG! NOOO!!!!! SHITTT NO!!!! I don't want to do this!  I know this is for science and investigation and shit but noOOOO!! I can't stand blood!

FUN FACT!
WHY U FUCK MY DEAD HEAD!?!


Choa has about 5 inches of room in her mouth---once you hit that! She starts gagging and throwing up. Some guys like that but not me. I'm a christian, you know!

Way has about 3 inches of room in her mouth which is ideal for my small penis! A snug fit indeed! Way is my personal favorite because of this! Plus she swallows!

Welp! It was time to test it out. Get this investigation going! 

ZIPPPP!!!! CHURNCHH!!!!! UNNNFFF!! GAFFFF!!! OPEN OPEN! RAHHHHHH

It's Choa!

Please God Take her SOUL to your land and caress her body
Obviously! I should've known!

I decide to throw her head in my closet and meet up with the other girls. Didn't want my maid to see it and call the cops!



AFTERNOONS!
Way: (sniffle sniffle) Have you seen Choa!?
ME: No...um. no.
Way: But she said she was headed to your house. She said you were going to take her for breakfast. Are you sure you haven't seen her, Sulli!?
ME: No, baby, I haven't seen her for a long time. Last time I saw her was when I was filming both of you  nude bathing together. 
Way: That's right! hmmmm I'm so scared! Where could she be!?
ME: I'm guessing she must've went to breakfast on her own. She's a huge chicken n' waffles fan so honestly this makes sense. I'm sure she just went to Roscoe's without me.
Way: hmmm, yes! Also, she's really been wanting to fuck this guy who works there! (SEEN BELOW)
Name: Benjamin Johnson III
ME: That's a possible answer! Seems she's really been into CUCKOLD  porn lately (fun fact: don't look up this word if you don't know...it's gross) and I have a bad feeling this is fucking with her psyche.  We Koreans should stick together but as they say ONCE YOU GO BLACK YOU NEVER GO BACK! I'm not being racist but like....I'm sad she doesn't like Koreans anymore.

(PERHAPS THIS IS THE MAN WHO KILLED CHOA! PERHAPS HE'S THE ONE WHO CHOPPED OFF HER HEAD AND PLACED IT ON MY BED. DAT MOTHER FUCKER!
BUT LET'S NOT BE RACIST HERE AND INSTANTLY BLAME THE BLACK MAN...OTHER RACES KILL TOO....HMMM BUT IT CAN'T HURT TO LOOK INTO THIS. ALSO HE'S GREAT AT CUTTING CHICKENS, PERHAPS HE USED THOSE SKILLS TO SEVER HER HEAD).

ME: Way, I'm going to check this out. Benjamin gets out at 3pm at Roscoe's...I'll have to confront him about this. Man 2 Man. Quick...lend me your car keys. I gotta drive out there now, bish.

WAY: NO, I'M GOING WITH YOU!

ME: Only if you let me fuck your ass!

WAY: OK


UNF UNF UNF!

(TO BE CONTINUED)


OR ELSE THIS SHIT IS GOING TO BE LONG! 

STAY TUNED!








21 comments:

  1. Swagon Pop

    "Are you sure you haven't seen her, Sulli!?" - For a second there I though to myself "wait... when did f(x)'s Sulli get into this story... ?" haha

    Spectacular ending to the first part !

    ReplyDelete
  2. Reborn Christians always write the best stuff. Welcum back, I'm crying!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi sulli_fag, missed you so much ♥

    Don't be intimidated by a decapitated head, you have to find those responsible and save the rest of Crayon Pop!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The images cracked me up so much. Good to see you back! I'm still confused as to how that UCAAD is related to the case though!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Such a beautiful heartwarming romance *sob* *snif*

    ReplyDelete
  6. Now this is how you make a comeback. You should replace JYP at the helm of JYPE.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Man, you guys are going from funny to downright obscene...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL then you'll probably want to stay away from the articles written in the first year of this site's establishment. Or anything by sulli_fag.

      Delete
  8. it's only a head, so it's technically bodiless.

    lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. What the actual fuck did I just read FUCKIN SULLI_FAAAAAAAAAG

    ReplyDelete
  10. Speaking of Crayon Pop. Dem translations. LOL

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7jQQr9sfcM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've had this link open in a tab for nearly an hour and ended up asking myself "where did this came from ?".

      They are not perfect, though.
      Talking about "CEO helmet fetish" and they're not even wearing helmets ? lol...
      Overall; Meh, underdeveloped, but, most importantly, just a bad video choice.

      Delete
  11. Mengu knows whats happened. He knows all

    http://imgur.com/TSXOo0y

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear that Mengu is managing K-Much now. I wonder if he will still have a presence with CP.

      CPTV won't be as good without him, imo.

      Delete
  12. Just now on YouTube, a kindly african gentleman named Tyrone told me that Crayon Pop runs shit.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Maybe she killed herself because she didn't come because of your small dick.

    ReplyDelete
  14. What

    The

    Mother

    Fucker

    Fuck??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am disturbed by the evident lack of buttholes.

    ReplyDelete