Monday, January 13, 2014

My life as a soshi manager part 3: The one where Yuri trashes a hotel room

I woke up this morning feeling a bit under the weather, maybe I'm getting sick? I figured no one would have any pity for me since the girls have to work all the time when they don't feel good. Oh well, that's neither here nor there. As I walked past Miss Han Jiwon's desk she reminded me to bring my cellphone and sunglasses... So, some "thing" that apparently happened before wouldn't happen again. I could remember what this thing was, but I just said, "sure" and tried to remember where I left that stuff. Why does everything here always manage to get lost and end up in the strangest places? I figured I'd check the changing room at the academy first.

Strangely enough my cellphone was actually in my office by my computer! Talk about luck. The sunglasses were no where to be soon though...

I had checked everywhere I could possible think of before ending up in the lounge. I had barely set foot inside when Kyuhyun grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me aside. Running into Kyuhyun was beginning to happen with some horrible regularity. Leeteuk was there too but just creepily watched us the whole time without saying anything.

Kyuhyun asked me some rather strange questions about SNSD. Things like what their fanclub was was originally going to be called, a question about an upcoming duet with Taeyeon, and then something about their diets. Whatever I thought, he's probably just curious about his unnies. I answered his questions as best as I could and when he was finished he made me promise not to tell anyone that he asked me about them. He also gave me a file that had information about the password for the girls' dorm. Why Kyuhyun of all people had this information is a real mystery. I made a mental note to ask Mr. Kim about this because clearly the security around here is still a problem. I thanked Kyuhyun for the file before leaving. I felt his cold stare behind my back as I left.

Now that I had all of the information I could finally get into the dorm... Did Mr. Kim intentionally set this up to test my skills or something?

As I finally got through the door to the dorm I thought that maybe this would finally all be worth it. I mean here I was a guy with access to the Girl's Generation dorms! Most guys would kill for that opportunity! But alas it was not to be. I wandered into the kitchen for something to drink. I opened the fridge nearly hitting Seohyun in the face with the door. I apologized profusely and introduced myself. What do you know? Someone else lost some shit and I had to go find it. Such is the life of a Soshi manager.

I said goodbye to Seohyun and was about to leave when I came across Hyoyeon in the living room. She said she'd been just standing around for an hour or so. What do you know? Hyoyeon being useless, I thought. Of course I didn't say that but my less than enthusiastic attitude may have given something away. I politely excused myself so I could go find Yuri's things.

Only three days on the job and already I was getting burnt out.

I headed upstairs to deal with Yuri's "crisis". The room was a wreck, figures I thought. Well it's my job to find her shit and find her shit is what I shall do! (I don't know why the image is darker)

It took about an hour of digging through the room including literally hundreds of pairs of shoes and panties (not complaining about that) but I finally managed to find all her shit. Da fuq, I mean seriously who misplaces a cell phone inside a pillow case. Exhausted, I turned to go get the car when the dumb hoe asks for ANOTHER favor!? Bish please, I need a 2 litre of beer after this shit. I gritted my teeth and said sure, however. I don't want to get fired before I get one paycheck after all.

I'm sure you will. I'm sure you'll also lose it under a bridge and I'll have to go find it, too.

We finally made it through traffic to the mall. The girls all ran off as soon as we got there. I reminded them that we were on a tight schedule and that they had to meet me back here in ONE hour. Hyoyeon promised me she would let the others know. I really hoped they would keep their word since I wasn't even sure if I was allowed to let them do this. I couldn't believe the fate of my career rested in the hands of Hyoyeon.

One hour passed and surprise, surprise the girls were no where to be seen. I stood at the edge of a balcony in the mall contemplating whether or not to jump when I thought I saw one of the girls on the other side. I waved my arms frantically pointing at my watch, trying to get her attention to no avail. For fucks sake I thought as I took off running as fast as I could.

T... That's... Great I said trying to catch my breath. I might have coughed up some blood too. I really need to get in shape. I noticed Seohyun seemed a bit distraught...

Aww. That's Seobaby, ever the mature adult. She acts so much older than her age. I told Hyoyeon that I agreed with her. It's really such a waste to spend so much at convenience stores and that food is so unhealthy.

Well, sorry Hyoyeon. Sorry I didn't know about your convenience store fetish. I've only been here three days after all. Fuckin' bish...

After that bit of awkwardness I managed to finally get all the girls in the car and we arrived at MBC.

The girls went off to get prepared when out of the blue Key came up to me. Apparently me having a minute to relax after that mall fiasco was obvious as Key seemed like he, too wanted something from me. Well, it turns out my reputation of winning guessing and trivia games and other bullshit like that preceded me as now HE wanted to challenge me. I was just about to turn down his stupid request when...

I facepalmed mentally. Thanks a lot you stupid Jung sister. I reluctantly agreed to Key's challenge while he looked at me with that stupid smirk on his face.

Of course I won and for some reason Jessica felt like getting all emotional on me.

Yeah, yeah. I knew how everyone called her "Ice Princess". I listened quietly while she went on about how no one understands her. I guess this was a new side of Sicca I had never seen before, whatever it was I could feel myself liking her a lot more, that or her shirt really made her boobs look nice. Whatever it was I liked what I felt.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. After MBC I drove the girls home and had several drinks that night.


  1. Kyuhyun's face cracks me up every time.

    Why do you only use old pics?

    1. to show d "authenticity" of this story. lol I liked reading this though.

    2. The game is rather old, so that's what I'm stuck with.

  2. I forgot just how much I hated Hyoyeon's old eyebrows.

  3. still haven't triggered an H-scene yet?

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. I want a sex scene please , a seokyu sex scene can you please ?

    1. I might be able to unlock a couple "extra" scenes... ;)

  6. This series of posts makes mine look positively lazy. I'm in awe.

  7. Replies
    1. Google "soshi manager" and you'll find it.

  8. Jessica could stare at me that way all day long...!

  9. As Zaku once said: "WHY AM I SO ENTRANCED BY THIS"?

    Why can't you be pervert like T-ara's manager?

    Oh the missed opportunities. Access to changing rooms. Kyuhyun handing you a file. Yoona/Sooyoung threesome featuring dripping hot spicy kimchi... *SIGHS*
    You even have hoodrat-hooker looking Hyoheon.

    Give me something, anything god dammit!