Friday, January 31, 2014

Stupid Things Fangirls Utter 47

This week's photo comes from an anonymous asker on my Ask.fm:


Thank you for your submission!

~*~*~

Okay. There is a lot to discuss here

1) Are you sexually attracted to flashlights now, too? I only ask because when I was still studying psychology, we learned about people who orgasm whilst in an environment which then inadvertently encodes in their memory. In turn, they become accidentally sexually attracted to certain objects (that were present) which now begin to prompt their sexual arousal. Damn. Must be awkward for you when you suddenly get horny in hardware stores now.



2) Do you let other people in your house still use that flashlight? You better not. Because that would be fucked up for a parent to have to use a flashlight that was inside their daughter during a blackout. I would honestly rather just sit in the dark than have to touch that.

3) You better have washed your hands right after doing that, young lady. I wouldn't want to be that unlucky victim who had to touch your sticky and smelly keyboard shortly after.

4) Doesn't it feel kind of strange? I mean, like, the textures are all wrong... A hard flashlight and then suddenly a soft (non human shaped) pillow? Isn't it... uncomfortable? Wait. I probably do not want to be curious about this. Do not answer me if you see this.

5) Has anyone seen this pillow of yours? Because if I went over to a friend's house and saw that her body pillow of a boy had his crotch ripped out, I would be very concerned. In fact, you couldn't even talk yourself out of that. No excuse could save your innocence. Anyone would know exactly what you were doing with it. Filthy.

6) Don't you feel hurt that he doesn't kiss back? That means you aren't making love - it is just meaningless sex. That is not romantic =(

I don't know why this concerns me so much. Like, why did you have to confess this?!


If anyone has submissions for future Stupid Things Fangirls Utter, please send them to zomg.oppa.sareanghae@gmail.com, tweet them to @akf_shinbi, ask them at ask.fm/akfshinbi, or leave them in the comment section below. Remember your rights on this site: anything you say or do here can and probably will be used against you. Thank you, FISHies!

29 comments:

  1. First of all, I DO NOT and probably would never be able to understand the concept of pillows (in this case, body pillows) with someone's else face in it. Just plain creepy. Only Spongebob's face is allowed.

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  2. Reminds me of that episode of 30Rock with James Franco and his body pillow.

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  3. Who the fuck would fap with a flashlight. That's it that's the only comment I have. Just- why. Of all the things you could put in your vagina. A flashlight. I am so done.

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  4. She'd better make sure that she's actually dry, otherwise, she'll get electrocuted and there will be quite a mess. If we see any newspaper reports of someone masturbating in a hardware store, we know who it is. That is as bad as that guy who cut a hole in the crotch area of his teddy bear and did god knows what with it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "She'd better make sure that she's actually dry, otherwise, she'll get electrocuted "

      ROTFL

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    2. There was a case where a lady used a vibrator after a shower and died after getting electrocuted. Haha.

      Delete
  5. Someone get that poor girl a dildo

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  6. Surely he meant "fleshlight" rather than "flashlight"?

    http://www.fleshlight.com/

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    Replies
    1. OH WAIT it's a girl... of course...

      Erm, guess it makes sense then...

      Delete
  7. I just hope she disinfects that flashlight before putting it up her vagina.

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  8. if he did not kiss back, means it's actually rape. heck, i'm sure that pillow did not give any consent whatsoever.

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    Replies
    1. There should be a law against forcing yourself upon any pillows or soft toys. She caused physical harm to the pillow by cutting it open and shoving a flashlight in it. Someone call the cops.

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  9. If you guys read the message again, there is a possibility that the poster is a guy, there's no definite proof that this is a girl.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for giving me nightmares.

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    2. But he/she said that they used the flashlight to masturbate. So, it's definitely a girl, unless, he faps while getting the flashlight up his anal cavity? Does that make him gay or straight?

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    3. Well yea that is a possibility, pretty sure some gay ppl do stick smth like that to masturbate, the post is really vague anyway.

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    4. My friend the ER nurse has some shockingly funny stories of things people have stuck up there and had to have removed... I suspect you could google this topic and be entertained mightily. . .

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  10. I think that she would be disappointed with the real Kris. I highly doubt that he is hung enough to be equal to a flashlight.

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  11. that's really sick dude, i mean if you are gonna masturbate, at least masturbate to someone who is worth masturbating to. Kris and a lot of exo members have crack head bodies, and this is coming from an exotic. what flashlight we talking here, becuase the only one im thinking of is those big yellow flashlights. ok no matter how i phrase it, that wasnt gonna come out right. got dang git i did it again.

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    Replies
    1. I'm thinking of the giant yellow block flashlights with the handles. Truly an image that won't be leaving my mind anytime soon.

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    2. http://i.imgur.com/7kEa9aW.jpg

      Delete
  12. Wow, I was shocked but well it's like using a vibrator and use nasty pictures. Or a porn movie
    Imagination is amazing
    And I don't think the fact this person gets horny if sees a flashlight is related to a object attraction.. Just he/she remembers her masturbation time
    I think it's a girl

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  13. It's not even the fact that this is BS, it's the fact that it wasn't even good. A flashlight? Really? The first (and probably only) stimulation you got (or will ever get) is from a flashlight. Exotics have such crapy imagination it's not even funny.

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  14. Da fuq?!? Man, EXOTICS are so IDIOTIC.

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  15. damn that must be a really round flashlight, or she likes scraping the shit out of her vag

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  16. crap. as much as I like kris), I find it disgusting ew.

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  17. this is why that poor dude tried to skip out on exo

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  18. ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? gurl das nastyyyyyyy

    ReplyDelete