Rain (tries) to get back into the game with "La Song" and "30Sexy"

Did Kim Tae Hee give you that kiss mark, Rain?

Rain recently took a break from fucking his girlfriend, Kim Tae Hee, to go back to his day job of "singing". I'm putting "singing" in inverted commas because Rain doesn't do much singing in his song "La Song" (rofl at the name). And whatever singing he does is generally not very good, "vocal God" my ass.

"La Song"

Honestly Rain, wtf is this piece of nonsensical trash? What were you thinking when you made this song and music video? Bloody hell, listening to this song was utter torture.

This song is a synthetic piece of bullshit that is meant to be a "fusion" of genres such as old school hip-hop, funk, electronica and a bit of 80s rock music. Except it isn't a fusion, it's a disaster. Each of the genres are layered onto top of each other so badly that they collide together to make noise. Just noise. The song is so fucking noisy I got an headache at the 1 minute mark and that headache stayed with me for about 4 hours (probably because I went and listened to "30Sexy" straight afterwards, but w/e).

The song completely loses whatever beat that it had in the mess of the song and there's absolutely no hook in the song whatsoever. Usually, even with a bad a song, there'll be a catchy hook to it that sticks in your head (whether you like it or not), but this song is completely forgettable (thank god). Which is good for us, but bad for Rain.

To make matters worse, Rain isn't even singing in this song...in fact I don't even know what the fuck he's supposed to be doing because I can barely hear him over the mishmash of genres that make up the instrumental for "La Song" (rofl at that title AGAIN). He sounds like he's fucking mumbling over the a bloody broken record, it's so annoying!

The only time you actually get to hear Rain sing is when he's straining the chorus that basically goes "La la la la" a thousand times until the next verse kicks in. So that's basically why Rain called the song "La Song" (rofl).

"La Song"'s m/v is also super duper fucking weird. Rain comes out of his trashy van, thug-muggin it and everythin' in some shanty town. He then starts singing his crap song in the town (which is mainly populated by black people and some Koreans), the residents of the town then go onto ass shake with one of them actually having her ass swell (wtf?). The music video is so random that I actually don't understand what's going on, but that image of a woman's ass blowing up is going to stay in my head forever.

My face during that moment.

I fucking hate this song tbh.

 

"30Sexy"

Undeniably the better single out of the two songs, but it's still bad (and I mean bad as in shit not as in good, you know?). The song is actually pretty decent up until the 1:20-ish mark where it starts to fucking suck because of the strobe-like synth effect (if you could hear strobe lights because those things are annoying) and Rain's horrific falsetto kicks in. The EDM is just so aggressive on the ears and the noise doesn't go away until the second verse (when Rain starts singing normally).

The sad thing about the song is if Rain didn't use his shitty falsetto and if the dominating EDM had been toned down the song would actually be quite good. It's because everything annoying and bad about this song is dominating, that the song is bad and headache inducing,.

"30Sexy"'s music video is also an eyesore of stripes, that I had to stop watching it in fear of vomiting all over my laptop because it's so nauseating.

I don't know who started saying that Rain was a really good singer, but he's not. Forgetting the fact that I find his tone incredibly cringe worthy, the guy is not a good singer. He's nasality is unbearable and I feel like handing him a tissue because he sounds like he needs to blow the fucking snot out of his nose. He's got basic problems sounding decent in his comfort zone and his lower register is basically a puffling of air, don't get me started on his falsetto because it's just shit and shrill.

Rain, go back to fucking Kim Tae Hee, please and thank you.