Thursday, January 2, 2014

Rain (tries) to get back into the game with "La Song" and "30Sexy"

Did Kim Tae Hee give you that kiss mark, Rain?

Rain recently took a break from fucking his girlfriend, Kim Tae Hee, to go back to his day job of "singing". I'm putting "singing" in inverted commas because Rain doesn't do much singing in his song "La Song" (rofl at the name). And whatever singing he does is generally not very good, "vocal God" my ass.


"La Song"



Honestly Rain, wtf is this piece of nonsensical trash? What were you thinking when you made this song and music video? Bloody hell, listening to this song was utter torture.

This song is a synthetic piece of bullshit that is meant to be a "fusion" of genres such as old school hip-hop, funk, electronica and a bit of 80s rock music. Except it isn't a fusion, it's a disaster. Each of the genres are layered onto top of each other so badly that they collide together to make noise. Just noise. The song is so fucking noisy I got an headache at the 1 minute mark and that headache stayed with me for about 4 hours (probably because I went and listened to "30Sexy" straight afterwards, but w/e).

The song completely loses whatever beat that it had in the mess of the song and there's absolutely no hook in the song whatsoever. Usually, even with a bad a song, there'll be a catchy hook to it that sticks in your head (whether you like it or not), but this song is completely forgettable (thank god). Which is good for us, but bad for Rain.

To make matters worse, Rain isn't even singing in this song...in fact I don't even know what the fuck he's supposed to be doing because I can barely hear him over the mishmash of genres that make up the instrumental for "La Song" (rofl at that title AGAIN). He sounds like he's fucking mumbling over the a bloody broken record, it's so annoying!

The only time you actually get to hear Rain sing is when he's straining the chorus that basically goes "La la la la" a thousand times until the next verse kicks in. So that's basically why Rain called the song "La Song" (rofl).

"La Song"'s m/v is also super duper fucking weird. Rain comes out of his trashy van, thug-muggin it and everythin' in some shanty town. He then starts singing his crap song in the town (which is mainly populated by black people and some Koreans), the residents of the town then go onto ass shake with one of them actually having her ass swell (wtf?). The music video is so random that I actually don't understand what's going on, but that image of a woman's ass blowing up is going to stay in my head forever.

My face during that moment.

I fucking hate this song tbh.

 

"30Sexy"



Undeniably the better single out of the two songs, but it's still bad (and I mean bad as in shit not as in good, you know?). The song is actually pretty decent up until the 1:20-ish mark where it starts to fucking suck because of the strobe-like synth effect (if you could hear strobe lights because those things are annoying) and Rain's horrific falsetto kicks in. The EDM is just so aggressive on the ears and the noise doesn't go away until the second verse (when Rain starts singing normally).

The sad thing about the song is if Rain didn't use his shitty falsetto and if the dominating EDM had been toned down the song would actually be quite good. It's because everything annoying and bad about this song is dominating, that the song is bad and headache inducing,.

"30Sexy"'s music video is also an eyesore of stripes, that I had to stop watching it in fear of vomiting all over my laptop because it's so nauseating.

I don't know who started saying that Rain was a really good singer, but he's not. Forgetting the fact that I find his tone incredibly cringe worthy, the guy is not a good singer. He's nasality is unbearable and I feel like handing him a tissue because he sounds like he needs to blow the fucking snot out of his nose. He's got basic problems sounding decent in his comfort zone and his lower register is basically a puffling of air, don't get me started on his falsetto because it's just shit and shrill.

Rain, go back to fucking Kim Tae Hee, please and thank you.

23 comments:

  1. He needs another MV like Love Song.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx5COTBjcNc

    Basically, his MVs just need more Han Ye Seul.

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  2. lol I just got off of YouTube after watching Angry Joe, decided to pop into AKF('cause I was bored and could't sleep, its like 4am here) and read the whole thing with an Angry Joe's voice in my head, which oddly sound fitting

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  3. I'll repeat what i tweeted ealier:

    La Song is Rain thinking: "god i really love this beat and i want to justify its existence but i'm too lazy to add actual lyrics" witch is a shame because it could be an awesome song.

    I really liked 30Sexy, i'm an EDM fan (not music made by shitty producers like Guetta or Calvin Harris but people like Tiesto, Van Buuren, Hardwell, etc) so for me the song is more listenable, the mv is clearly a kind of 'tribute' to MJ's Billy Jean and his iconic 'light steps'.

    i'm not a vocal fag so i couldn't care less about Rain's singing ability, but man, can he sing a little louder in La Song?

    And girl, go easy on the sugar, it's messing with your senses. :P

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    1. *which is a shame

      fuck you google chrome.

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    2. I don't take sugar in my tea *sips*.

      To me both songs sound like noise, I liked 30Sexy up until the EDM kicked in, which is a shame IMO. Obviously, this is just my opinion and other people are gonna like what they like I guess.

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    3. 30sexy sounds like something I could listen to over again, if it werent for that nasal falsetto chorus. it just grates on me

      i'd like to see if they continue promoting that whole "world star" thing. kind of a joke when you compare it to Psy nowadays

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    4. i wouldn't really call psy a star though he's more like the world's short-lived joke

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    5. Yeah that nasal-as-fuck-falsetto pisses me off too. It's so incredibly whiny and shrill.

      LMAO @ Psy being the "world's short-lived joke".

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  4. Rain is mega overrated tbh. (Well not so much anymore, at least.) Rainism (along with basically all of his recent releases prior to that) have been him grunting/moaning/??? And repeatedly hipthrusting over a beat with a few sexual lyrics thrown in. Needs to get the hell back to acting or release something like Bad Guy (which was his debut I think?) Or Ways to Avoid the Sun. This shit ain't working.

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    1. I will hand it to him though, he definitely isn't bad looking. Not T.O.P. or Hanbyul level or anything but he is attractive and seems like he knows how to work with that. He looks really nice during 30 Sexy. Untalented though.

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    2. i think rain's appeal was the whole 'catchy song with a dance that looks classy but is actually pretty simple to follow' thing though. whenever i see rain mentioned on shows people do the rainism thing

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  5. And this is a top comment...
    http://i.imgur.com/GYCLZmS.png

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  6. I found them boring or maybe i'm too tired today.

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  7. Replies
    1. Me too... At least he still has Park Han Byul 5ever

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  8. The songs themselves aren't that bad y'know... But I do agree Rain's voice is overrated and the concepts are utter shit.

    Nothing will ever top Rainism and Rain just needs to stick to fucking Kim Tae Hee, before some black guy gives her the extra 4 inches she needs.

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    Replies
    1. I wonder if enlargement pills work on asians.

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  9. Replies
    1. It'd be a great song if Rain didn't sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks for most of it.

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  10. i actually really liked 30sexy, but i enjoyed the parts where he was actually singing much more than the edm stuff. it might work well live though, because he won't have to sing during them (or, *fingers crossed* does a proper falsetto live. very unlikely but i can hope ok) so the whole thing might be a cool performance piece. isn't that rain's whole thing though? the PERFORMANCE of it? haha i think you didn't like the stripes because you don't like that strobe light synth sound lmao i thought that the visuals of it were really cohesive with the song (even though some of their choices of set don't fit with the others so well? ugh i hate that), and i haven't watched the whole mv but i thought it was cut pretty well

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    Replies
    1. also lmao why does he remind me so much of nillili mambo era zico in la song

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  11. I really like both songs. Then again, I'm a f(x) fan who doesn't get why people think some of their songs suck.

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    Replies
    1. Most of us here like f(x)'s songs, so don't worry. Pink Tape is the shit, and I mean the shit as in awesome, not shit as in fecal matter.

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