"Oh fuck..." That's my first reaction when I saw this.
My second reaction is to quickly replace "Oh" with "I wanna" then append " this girl." at the end of the phrase to make it an actual, sensible sentence.
Resident AKF Bitchcunt, aka Me (known by a multitude of internet nicks, queenofnothing, kissmysass, nasubacon, real name Audrey), is leaving the site, for good. It's been a shitty 2.5 years honeys, being the resident complainer, on off again anorexic, but the thought of leaving the site for good never crossed my mind till recently. I guess I should've done so earlier.
To be honest, I first stumbled upon AKF on accident, thorough a google search. I don't know why I started reading the articles regularly, or joined blogspot to simply comment here; I never thought my input would generate any feedback, and for the most part, I was correct, my posts are pretty useless. Anyway, back to my discovery of AKF, I guess I found a couple of articles amusing. (PT1)
And since I started commenting, I've just been a fucking pity party. I guess because I'm still 17, I'm a selfish fucking brat, who only cares about herself, and thus, should be treated as such by most of you, who are older than me. I know I've been told to get a shrink. I just want you fappers to know, I have a therapist, so you needn't worry about me. Look,the mental problems that hinder me have been present since I was a kid, a shrink first put me on depression meds at age 8; since, I've been a cacophony of nerve, anxiety, negativity, and the occasional glimmer of amusement. Since middle school I've been a fucking wreck;, however I developed eating disorder related tendencies in mid-9th grade, but didn't actually start losing weight till 10th. I guess you could call me a restrictive eater, because to this day, I can't eat as much as I did pre-starvation-diet without the urge to puke. My restrictive eating will likely last me for the rest of my life, no matter how short or long it may end up being. It's not something I can just overcome.
I turn to the internet for escapism from my lonely existence IRL. Of course, that results me finding things that only deepen my self loathing and hatred. And some of those things include, well, k-idols.
Don't get me wrong, they're fucking beautiful, even if their beauty's as artificial as the sugarcoated kpop industry itself... not to mention, they're also nearly anorexic, or at least underweight in most instances, save for the few exceptions, who then often lose weight due to netizen pressure (HYOSUNG). They're the definition of seemingly happy, perfect celebrities, whose lives are so fucking manufactured that it leaves a sweet taste in your mouth. I know kpop will never change, and so long as it remains alive, AKF will, unless there are extenuating circumstances or nobody bothers to upkeep the blog. I know the women in kpop, and even the men, are made to be objectified and sexualized. I know that that is the point of marketing and the music industry. The objectification never bothered me, until I learned about the hell the idols go through (abuse, slave contracts etc); now, I can hardly watch korean or japaense MVs, regardless of the country, without thinking '(insert artist or band here) really have no freedom'. I rarely watch MVs regardless of the country, in fact. The world we live in really doesn't seem so vile, until you dig beneath the dirt, and discover the underbelly of the industries, mainly, the entertainment industries. (PTS2&3)
Sometimes I wish I could close myself off from the world as I know it. I detest societal pressure, not just in my home country, but in others, too. I'm sick of the contradicting opinions of people & outlets in the media. One minute, a woman is praised for her figure, the next, she's being told to lose a certain amount of weight (HYOSUNG). And even though I know we need society to properly function (without society, the world would basically unravel as we know it), I sometimes wish it'd fuck itself up the asshole.
When I started my summer 'eat as little as possible, exercise heavily' diet, I was skirting the line between 'chubby' and 'fat' (at least, in personal opinion). K-idols weren't my only influence for losing weight; the other two major reasons were models, pressure from family and peers, but idols DEFINITELY served as a contributing factor to my eventual 20 lbs loss. Even after I lost that weight however, I found it hard to accept myself. Months later, and I still can't accept myself. I have no self confidence because I'm an easy target who's prone to beatings from everyone else. I can't defend myself worth jack shit. I'm a shy little fuck who can't socialize properly. I can't even tell my own goddamn puppy off when she 'play attacks' me, that's my truly the extent of my weakness, I'm too fucking. I'm a pussy. I act tough on the internet in order to try to delude myself into thinking I'm a strong person, but I'm not. I am far from. And to truly strengthen myself, i need to GTFO; the ana sites, the depressing tumblr posts, the AKF fapper section, the fat whore Suzy posts, and improve my worth, somehow. Like I said, society makes it difficult to do so, due to the expectations it has of you. And yes, I really have the urge to hide from society sometimes. (PT4&5)
My leave is my choice, and to the rest of you, I know it's worthless. In a year, if not a few months, you'll forget who I am and what a fucking shit I've been here (that is, if you ever even saw a post of mine in the first place). New users will come, and old users will go, it's the way of the internet.
But I still think you deserve an apology, from me, because I graced your blog with my delusional, psycho bitch presence. Every single oen of you. Why do you deserve this apology? My personality, my godawful behavior, it seems to go against everything you believe in, and everything you stand for; I'm not much of a fangirl, but I'm a delusional girl with unrealistic expectations for myself. As a blog that's 'realistic' and 'not delusional', I'm quite sure my inputs here aren't greatly appreciated. Thus, I'm going. I might lurk around the site, but I'm not commenting after this. I will always think of myself as one of the worst users here, the UCiFF who couldn't shut her mouth, and who, in some respects, begged for attention.
All the authors, AKF himself, I apologize to you, for the crap I spewed in the comments section. All the readers, I apologize to you for the same bullshit. If it weren't for a single search on Google, I wouldn't even be here.
Sorry for this message. I'm sure nobody will read it. It's 1:30 and I need to fucking sleep. In the off chance that you do, do not contact me further. Like I said, this is my last comment here.
PS: If you want to see why Kween Bitch (me) refers to herself as a UCiFF, please refer to the following, a pictorial history of my fatness: http://nasubacon.blogspot.com/2014/01/for-akf-comm-illustrated-history-of-fat.html (last attempt at any sort of pity partying, go -deepsigh-)
HOLY SHIT!
ReplyDeleteI can't stand Girl's Day but DAYUM is she finneeee
ReplyDeletethe more reason for me to stay loving Girl's Day
ReplyDeletei dont give a fuck how good minahs voice is. if sojin and yura dont make up 3/4 of their next video im gonna be pissed as fuck.
ReplyDeletemy hope is since they have them in lingerie thats the plan anyway....every fucking day girls day!!!
Dayum... Girl's Day is gonna be running shit in 2014!
ReplyDeleteThey certainly aren't afraid to express their inner sluts.
ReplyDeleteThe photoshop though :(
ReplyDeletefap fap fap
ReplyDeleteThat leotard tho… (it is a leotard right?) XD
ReplyDeleteOkay, im dead ! CUMMING OVERLOAD
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI don't nave any speakers on the PC I use to watch kpop videos, so I can't tell :(
DeleteDon't worry, this PICTURE doesn't have audio.
Deletetyping with one hand to be honest.
ReplyDeleteDayuuuum
ReplyDeleteI can see already that Girl's Day will be tearin' shit up this year
Sojin>>>>>>>>Minah>>>>>>>>Yura>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hyeri
ReplyDeleteI'm probably the only one that agrees with you lol.
DeleteBut still, I would titty fuck the shit out of Yura.
Hyeri is the least fappable for me, in the teasers she looks like a retarded
Delete> I'm probably the only one that agrees with you lol.
DeleteMaybe after this snippet many others will see the light:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnqqlXNULlQ&feature=youtu.be
This is my song for Yura and all the girls who give me huge boners:
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/t0eQL5R3bw4 (Bad Thing - True Blood Opening)
Fuck. this girl is hot as hell.
"Oh fuck..."
ReplyDeleteThat's my first reaction when I saw this.
My second reaction is to quickly replace "Oh" with "I wanna" then append " this girl." at the end of the phrase to make it an actual, sensible sentence.
Oh look, another thing convincing me to starve myself!
ReplyDeleteNEGATIVE COMMENTS AHOY!
DeleteIf you're trying to make us pity you, well, you're overdoing. At first I was concerned, but now I just think you want attention.
DeleteMe as well with the overdoing self pity, do you need to see a therapist. Or just stick to boy videos it helps, I think.
DeleteWelp, you do you. :/
DeleteEh, paging Illest from the depths of the netherworld?
ReplyDeleteHair waistline ;A;
ReplyDeletePlease tell me that's photoshopped, she's not that thin in the performance videos...
DeleteI'm pretty sure it's photshopped. Her waist looks as small as Candice Swanepoel's in that picture. >_>
DeleteHey guys... The song is out now :P
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akPDKYwIoVk
ahaha i shared the MV in my fb account .. and found out that the thumbnail is...
ReplyDeletehttp://i1007.photobucket.com/albums/af198/yuu14/5f97e9ac-985d-46c8-86f0-5300cd7f4c6b_zps787f9b61.jpg
Lmao, this is great.
DeleteIs this Cheeze oppa?
DeleteB.o.d.y!!!
ReplyDeleteP.H.O.T.O.S.H.O.P.
DeleteResident AKF Bitchcunt, aka Me (known by a multitude of internet nicks, queenofnothing, kissmysass, nasubacon, real name Audrey), is leaving the site, for good. It's been a shitty 2.5 years honeys, being the resident complainer, on off again anorexic, but the thought of leaving the site for good never crossed my mind till recently. I guess I should've done so earlier.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I first stumbled upon AKF on accident, thorough a google search. I don't know why I started reading the articles regularly, or joined blogspot to simply comment here; I never thought my input would generate any feedback, and for the most part, I was correct, my posts are pretty useless. Anyway, back to my discovery of AKF, I guess I found a couple of articles amusing. (PT1)
And since I started commenting, I've just been a fucking pity party. I guess because I'm still 17, I'm a selfish fucking brat, who only cares about herself, and thus, should be treated as such by most of you, who are older than me. I know I've been told to get a shrink. I just want you fappers to know, I have a therapist, so you needn't worry about me. Look,the mental problems that hinder me have been present since I was a kid, a shrink first put me on depression meds at age 8; since, I've been a cacophony of nerve, anxiety, negativity, and the occasional glimmer of amusement. Since middle school I've been a fucking wreck;, however I developed eating disorder related tendencies in mid-9th grade, but didn't actually start losing weight till 10th. I guess you could call me a restrictive eater, because to this day, I can't eat as much as I did pre-starvation-diet without the urge to puke. My restrictive eating will likely last me for the rest of my life, no matter how short or long it may end up being. It's not something I can just overcome.
DeleteI turn to the internet for escapism from my lonely existence IRL. Of course, that results me finding things that only deepen my self loathing and hatred. And some of those things include, well, k-idols.
DeleteDon't get me wrong, they're fucking beautiful, even if their beauty's as artificial as the sugarcoated kpop industry itself... not to mention, they're also nearly anorexic, or at least underweight in most instances, save for the few exceptions, who then often lose weight due to netizen pressure (HYOSUNG). They're the definition of seemingly happy, perfect celebrities, whose lives are so fucking manufactured that it leaves a sweet taste in your mouth. I know kpop will never change, and so long as it remains alive, AKF will, unless there are extenuating circumstances or nobody bothers to upkeep the blog. I know the women in kpop, and even the men, are made to be objectified and sexualized. I know that that is the point of marketing and the music industry. The objectification never bothered me, until I learned about the hell the idols go through (abuse, slave contracts etc); now, I can hardly watch korean or japaense MVs, regardless of the country, without thinking '(insert artist or band here) really have no freedom'. I rarely watch MVs regardless of the country, in fact. The world we live in really doesn't seem so vile, until you dig beneath the dirt, and discover the underbelly of the industries, mainly, the entertainment industries. (PTS2&3)
Sometimes I wish I could close myself off from the world as I know it. I detest societal pressure, not just in my home country, but in others, too. I'm sick of the contradicting opinions of people & outlets in the media. One minute, a woman is praised for her figure, the next, she's being told to lose a certain amount of weight (HYOSUNG). And even though I know we need society to properly function (without society, the world would basically unravel as we know it), I sometimes wish it'd fuck itself up the asshole.
DeleteWhen I started my summer 'eat as little as possible, exercise heavily' diet, I was skirting the line between 'chubby' and 'fat' (at least, in personal opinion). K-idols weren't my only influence for losing weight; the other two major reasons were models, pressure from family and peers, but idols DEFINITELY served as a contributing factor to my eventual 20 lbs loss. Even after I lost that weight however, I found it hard to accept myself. Months later, and I still can't accept myself. I have no self confidence because I'm an easy target who's prone to beatings from everyone else. I can't defend myself worth jack shit. I'm a shy little fuck who can't socialize properly. I can't even tell my own goddamn puppy off when she 'play attacks' me, that's my truly the extent of my weakness, I'm too fucking. I'm a pussy. I act tough on the internet in order to try to delude myself into thinking I'm a strong person, but I'm not. I am far from. And to truly strengthen myself, i need to GTFO; the ana sites, the depressing tumblr posts, the AKF fapper section, the fat whore Suzy posts, and improve my worth, somehow. Like I said, society makes it difficult to do so, due to the expectations it has of you. And yes, I really have the urge to hide from society sometimes. (PT4&5)
DeleteMy leave is my choice, and to the rest of you, I know it's worthless. In a year, if not a few months, you'll forget who I am and what a fucking shit I've been here (that is, if you ever even saw a post of mine in the first place). New users will come, and old users will go, it's the way of the internet.
DeleteBut I still think you deserve an apology, from me, because I graced your blog with my delusional, psycho bitch presence. Every single oen of you. Why do you deserve this apology? My personality, my godawful behavior, it seems to go against everything you believe in, and everything you stand for; I'm not much of a fangirl, but I'm a delusional girl with unrealistic expectations for myself. As a blog that's 'realistic' and 'not delusional', I'm quite sure my inputs here aren't greatly appreciated. Thus, I'm going. I might lurk around the site, but I'm not commenting after this. I will always think of myself as one of the worst users here, the UCiFF who couldn't shut her mouth, and who, in some respects, begged for attention.
DeleteAll the authors, AKF himself, I apologize to you, for the crap I spewed in the comments section. All the readers, I apologize to you for the same bullshit. If it weren't for a single search on Google, I wouldn't even be here.
Sorry for this message. I'm sure nobody will read it. It's 1:30 and I need to fucking sleep. In the off chance that you do, do not contact me further. Like I said, this is my last comment here.
PS: If you want to see why Kween Bitch (me) refers to herself as a UCiFF, please refer to the following, a pictorial history of my fatness: http://nasubacon.blogspot.com/2014/01/for-akf-comm-illustrated-history-of-fat.html (last attempt at any sort of pity partying, go -deepsigh-)