This post may be too long for some, so enjoy watching this video of Aragaki Yui, who is disgustingly thin and has no tits and ass. I have no idea why I find her attractive when she doesn't have the ideal 36-24-36 body. She doesn't have a high nose bridge or a V-shaped face. I should hate this bitch that I find extremely cute, right? Since Gakki doesn't fit into some other asshole's standards that aren't my own, I should hate her.
I'll sprinkle in some pictures of Aragaki Yui if this is too long for you.
For those out of the loop, this post is in response to this post.
First, she says it's my fault for her dieting and losing 20 pounds. I didn't hold a gun to her head and threaten to make Shindong sit on her face and suffocate her if she didn't lose 20 pounds. Again, this is simply shifting blame from oneself to another as a self-defense mechanism.
When you only grade yourself based on personality and are trying to get the D, of course only sleazy guys are going to be into you. Sure, guys do value looks, but it's not the only thing guys look for in women. If we solely cared about looks, we would be content jacking it to Internet porn for our whole lives, since we wouldn't need anything else. Sure, in real life, I can easily admit being sexually attracted to women, saying stuff like "I'd pee in her butt," but that's just on a superficial level, and I actually didn't like those women. Considering that when a man is with a woman, they're not going to be having sex 24/7 and the woman won't be walking around the house/apartment/cardboard box naked all day every day. There's a personality factor that is just as important, and with your self-loathing, you're not going to attract any guys. You can't be entitled to think that you deserve to have a relationship. Getting into a relationship takes work and it isn't something that happens like in TV shows and movies. Happiness is something that takes a lot of work. It is easy to be miserable and blame others for everything. I used to be the same way when I was your age because it is easy to blame one's shortcomings on everything else but oneself.
Allowing yourself to be defined by others is a very damaging thing, and it is something prevalent in our society. Back in high school, my whole identity was defined by others, and that was because I allowed it. I was labeled things as a genius, human calculator, asshole, hilarious, ugly (more on this in a bit), among other things, but those things weren't necessarily my definitions of myself. I always placed #1 or close to it back in high school (my graduation class was just 85 people, so we're talking about a really small pool), and I hardly had to work at anything while I was in school, easily getting the top grades in school while spending most of my time in class sleeping, writing rap lyrics (I used to do that for AKF too, might have to bring that back) and drawing comics (as evident by my masterpiece MS Paint pictures I have drawn here). Math was my best subject in high school, and back then, I had zero problems with it, so people called me crap like a human calculator. I was called hilarious and an asshole because I could easily make jokes about anyone that I wanted to, so some people found it hilarious and others thought it was extremely mean. I attribute that to watching too much Chappelle's Show and South Park in high school. I used to be referred to as ugly, though I don't think of myself as ugly and I guess the people who watch my livestream don't consider myself as ugly as they've tuned in about a dozen times. Seeing as how they didn't gouge their eyes out, I must not be that bad. Plus, there are people still calling me Jaejoong out there. I was mainly called ugly because I didn't look like everyone else. I grew up in rural America...where everyone but a very few are white. Seeing that as I'm half-Korean, I stick out like a sore thumb, and for not looking like everyone else and looking the norm, I wasn't deemed attractive. Looking back, it didn't necessarily mean that I was ugly or anything.
Why bring this up? Letting others define me made me narcissistic and made me have a low self-esteem. I used to think that I was better than everyone else just because of my grades in high school, but still had a bad image about myself. Well, that changed when I entered university, because I stopped giving a shit what others think about myself. Sure, the genius label still followed me in university, but I didn't let that affect me like I did in high school. I didn't think I was above anyone else anymore. I learned that there is more than one type of intelligence, and it's obvious my emotional intelligence is just about non-existent. So, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and no one is inherently better than another person, despite all of the labels that are thrown out there in the world. Labeling others is something easy to do because it doesn't require actually getting to know someone.
You, on the other hand, are allowing people to define, and what's worse, anonymous people over the Internet who don't even know you. You need to build up a positive, but realistic image of yourself, according to your own criteria. Don't compare yourself to anyone but your former self and try to mold yourself to how you want to be. Since you seem to want a relationship, you need to build yourself into someone people would want to date, so yes, you have to make changes in your life. Being self-loathing isn't going to attract anyone. You have to have qualities that people desire and things about you that are interesting. I've seen people of all sizes, shapes, and appearances date and have kids, so it's not outside the realm of possibility for you to find someone for you. However, you're selling yourself short and seem desperate to have sex with any guy just to validate your existence, which is something the majority of guys aren't looking for. If a guy desperately needs to bang a chick, there are prostitutes and drinking parties to go to, but not every guy looks at every woman as another notch on the belt.
Now, onto the specific criticisms you wrote about AKF.
1. All types of shaming. It's in jest. Stop taking it too seriously. No one here really thinks Suzy and Chorong are fat. Lots of people like Suzy, and lots of people like Chorong. I personally find Chorong to be the best looking in A Pink, and I call her Fat Chorong. It doesn't mean that I think she's some beach whale that needs liposuction.
2. We're not averse to white women. I've dated white women for Christ's sake! This is a blog perdominantly about Korean entertainment, with some Japanese, Chinese and Taiwanese entertainment news/music/dramas/etc. thrown in between. I find women of other ethnicities and races hot, but since they're off topic on a Kpop blog, of course I don't post about them all the time.
3. This makes no sense, because it's a faulty analogy. When we we're complaining about Yuri being too skinny, we were complaining about the fact that she lost some of her curves and her majestic thighs. We were comparing Yuri only to her former self. That would indicate that we're not for anorexia right there. The Jenna Wang pictures aren't a good comparison because Jenna Wang is an entirely different person. Plus, she's not anorexic and we don't promote anorexia. I think you may have selectively ignored the articles about Sooyoung and Boram, who we joked about looking like Skeletor.
4. Jessica and Hyomin have elongated faces for their frames, drawing comparisons to horses. That still doesn't bother most of the readers here, because I'm sure most of us would want Jessica and Hyomin to sit on our faces.
5. Yes, plenty of women have written for this site. There are three female authors right now: Shinbi, Fany Pack, and Akisame. Former female authors include: Suckmydee, Lickmypunani, blackbeltbaybee, mynameisnotsuzy, liley, friglet, JK, Aurelie, Sehkmet, Conundrum, AiBaisMine, BEASTmode, and Budy. Out of the 31 people here who are/have been authors, 16 have been women. That's over half!!!1111
6. Well, no shit that you don't always agree with our music taste. That's the fucking point of this blog: to get away from group think when it comes to a group's music. I got tired of that shit at Soshified and Tiara Diadem. I would be chewed out for not saying a certain songs was a 5/5. This is just a place for people to express their opinions about something. There's a comment section so that people can debate opinions. This is the last place for group think in the Kpop world.
7. So you're now body shaming women while complaining about yourself being body shamed. I don't have to write shit here, it's just way too obvious as to what the problem is.
8. We do write about fanboy stupidity, like when that guy try to kidnap Taeyeon, that guy humped the Suzy poster, and when that guy groped a Crayon Pop member. Fanboy stupidity just doesn't happen as often as fangirl stupidity.
Well, can you blame me for thinking that? Over the course of a month, you posted similar messages in a lot of articles, which made it look like you were baiting us for your attention. If you actually did succeed in trolling all of us, good for you. But if you legitimately need help, go seek it.
In the end, it's up to you to change your own self-image instead of allowing others to define yourself for you. You can't control what others say, think, write, etc. about you. You can't control someone's feelings and manipulate them into liking you. There are 7 billion fuckers in this world, so why let the views of thousands of readers and dozens of commenters affect you when we're a statistical insignificance in the big picture?
One last picture of Gakki.