People are always / asking me for all my "thoughts" / about k-pop songs
I normally do / not review songs, I find it / boring as batshit
But due to demand / I will make an exception / and review some songs
Please now enjoy these / Korean pop songs reviews / in Haiku format
These are all for songs / that I have been asked for my / "thoughts" on recently
Just because it is / better than I Got A Boy / does not say a lot
They love me cos I'm / using cringeworthy English / where is my rifle
That cheesy chorus / cripples a good song, oh well / at least they look good
IU's "Modern Times" / has made jazz big bands trendy / now we pay the price
Ride on K.will's fame / smart publicity move, girls / pity the song sucks
No-one gave a shit / about this group until now / sexy concepts work
A really good song / hope The Eurythmics don't sue / good luck with that, girls
Once I stopped fapping / I noticed the song was good / nobody else cared
This sounds a lot like / all their other fucking songs / that's not a bad thing
Go back to the front / shatter North Korean shells / with that falsetto
Dubstep please fuck off / out of Korean pop songs / you have no place here
Are you kidding me / I'm over eight years old cunt / fuck this Disney trash
Smoky girl smoky / girl smoky girl smoky girl / too repetitive
This is really good / where did this songwriter go / hire him back, you whores
It
didn't need all / those extra sections in it / it's really too long,
and the structure is / all over / the place, it could have / used some
trimming down, like, seriously edit that fucker - remove / all the
pointless sections /and we don't need Taewoon rapping in every CCM song
these days do we / other than that I guess it was okay / they have worse
songs I suppose
*
The next list is all / fan video submissions / from my ask fm
I told followers / to submit videos that / they wanted "thoughts" on
And that I would then / put my answers in a blog / for them to visit
They were not told that / I would use haiku format / for the reviewing
I received over / 100 song submissions / these are the best ones
This song is decent / wow a good Infinite song / sometimes pigs do fly
What a boring song / I guess Kahi's time is up / unemployable
Jamiroquai sucks / so do any Koreans / ripping off his trash
Haiku verses are / not sufficient to describe / how boring this is
Great Shodan concept / but Sohee's hair is horrid / time to shoot myself
Worthless ballad trash / why k-pop fans like this shit / I have no idea
Raping my eardrums / stop making music right now / my ears will thank you
Called "Painkiller" but / not a Judas Priest cover / I am disappoint
Why is most k-rap / wimpy soft R&B shite / Ellin is hot though
Boring disco funk / but it's okay because I / don't need sound to fap
League of Legends skins / is the only worthwhile thing / that this song produced
I have this album / I tried to give it away / no-one wanted it
If I was that girl / I would have picked the guy with / no greasy mullet
Singing in her ear / take your shit ballad elsewhere / she just wants some sleep
What's Your Name was crap / this is slightly better but / so is lung cancer
The only good song / TVXQ ever had / as a five piece group
K-pop fans are dumb / I saw the plot twist coming / 40 seconds in
Song starts off okay / why does it go all stupid / trendy fucking shit
What is "manyo maash"? / maybe she means her cleavage / I'm not complaining
The most consistent / nine member k-pop girl group / in the world today
I forgot this group / had a ballad this awful / unlistenable
Great early concept / why they also do soft songs / I don't fucking know
Why did the label / x over the naughty word / when she still sings it?
Shinsadong Tiger / must take them on Bangbus trips / book them now, ladies
Watched the whole MV / saw almost zero boobies / what a waste of time
Apink: a request / please do a sexy concept / just to troll k-netz
This sounds a lot like / T-ara's Apple Is A / except not as good
Why such a low res / what good is SNSD / without the perving
Who builds a sports court / with concrete posts in the way / how fucking stupid
Nell is fucking shit / why get excited by this / third-rate Coldplay clone
Sounds a bit EXO / I guess these days EXO get / SM's reject songs
Guard tower unmanned / hey sniper get back up there / your work not finished
Tip for single men: / breaking into her bedroom / not a good idea
Bora and CL / should release a rap project / called "bad meaning bad"
Hyoyoung crawls into / her sister's gaping cunthole / and finds a rodent
They blocked out the sun / burning junk to make MVs / for shit k-ballads
This veteran group / should have enough business clout / to refuse dubstep
JYP should have / given this song to miss A / not that Hush garbage
DSP hate them / fixing aspect ratio / low priority
Wow Girl's Day sure had / some complete fucking stinkers / in the early days
Nazi fetish look / without swastika armbands? / cake without icing
The best song ever / my purpose in life complete / I can die happy
That's Qri, not Hyomin haha.
ReplyDeleteNo shit, how did I / fucking miss that, I will have / to edit this post
Deletedat nose mole is a dead give away man
Deletehttp://i3.ytimg.com/vi/nZcRU0Op5P4/hqdefault.jpg
Just as well Qri / has equal syllables or / I would have been fucked
DeleteDi you really mean what you said about "I Love You, Darling"?
ReplyDeleteSubtle poetic / license may have been used to / make a certain point
DeleteI am angrily posting this to make sure you aware of my displeasure that you and I do not have the same musical tastes.
ReplyDeleteYour concern has been / duly noted, the red x / is to your top right
DeleteGirls' Generation.
ReplyDeleteGot shaded so badly by--
Your review of "News".
Girls' Generation / would get better reviews if / they had better songs
DeleteOh was hoping to see hyomin in a hanbok would have defiantly taken the article to the next level
ReplyDeleteGoogle image search / "Hyomin hanbok", then prepare / tissue box and lube
DeleteI liked BESTie's Thank You Very Much, but, that blonde girl who looks a little like a troll with her big eyes, small face and mismatching hair. appeared too much. I saw her too much in the MV and it turned me off. Haeryung looks great. The girl with the revealing clothes looked awesome.
ReplyDeletePredispositions / like yours are the reason god / invented fancams
DeleteI love quick music reviews. Less time reading equals more time judging in the comments.
ReplyDeleteThough "It's Me" and "Bloom" reviews made me cry inside.
Just kidding, I cried outwardly for all the world to see, too.
Just be grateful that / noboby asked me about / Gain's "Truth Or Dare"
DeleteOh, hey Kpo'lyps (is that an acceptable nickname, btw?), I was just wondering: What are your thoughts on Ga In's "Truth Or Dare."
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteExactly what everyone else thought about it:
DeleteA somehow shitter version of Blurred Lines without the boobs to stop you from desperately attempting to click the x button.
Robin Thicke is shit / so is Marvin Gaye that cunt / you work the rest out
DeleteI'm probably the only one on Earth who thinks that song is the best thing Ga-in has ever done in her solo career.
Deletei wonder your opinion on infinite's "chaser" ^^
ReplyDeleteImpressive dance moves / and pointless destruction does / not a good song make
DeleteI would totally eat it up if I were in your position of having people constantly seeking my opinion on shit.
ReplyDeleteThis has no relevance.
http://gfycat.com/AdorableShabbyAmethystinepython
Questions with just "Thoughts?" / and a YouTube link only / get very boring
DeleteThe residential/Japanese pop music fan/greatly applauds this
ReplyDeleteIf this was j-pop / the reviews would be even / more fucked in the head
DeletePosting Eurythmics
ReplyDeletePosting SHODAN
Kids won't understand
We feel you moving / inside of us. The sensa / tion is...repulsive.
DeleteI completely agree with Bloom, it was pretty crap but I have no idea why everyone likes it.
ReplyDeleteAnd the K.will plot twist MV, even I didnt get a hint of it.
*and not but gahhh
DeleteI like to write twists / so I tend to expect them / in other fiction
Deletevery good read shame / I can't comment on your post / in haiku for shit
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it / Your attempt at Haiku / is a lot better than this one
DeleteT-ara N4 - Jeon Won Diary
ReplyDeleteI salute you for this epic review
better than hair dryers (www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE51Fy_tHdc)
I still liked the song / it was just so ass-about / and long / and had too much stuff in it / if they had just pared it down a bit / it could have been one of their best songs ever / oh well / at least the lyrics served it right to their haters / hilarious
DeleteI've always sucked at haiku so I'll just say that I was excited to see my contribution used. What a creative way to sate the curiosities of hundreds of ask.fm users who need your approval to like a song!
ReplyDeleteWhy they care so much / about my thoughts on a song / I don't understand
DeleteGo back to the front / shatter North Korean shells / with that falsetto
ReplyDeletelmfao
Rain's falsetto voice / deployed at North Korea / WMD
DeleteRain's falsetto would / Make Kim Jong-un / Cry to his mommy
DeleteYou would have wasted less of your life if you would have just said something about all kpop being terrible.
ReplyDeleteK-pop is not bad / just the type of k-pop songs / people want thoughts on
DeleteThat TVXQ review/ made me laugh so hard/ help can't stop using haikus
ReplyDeleteHaha that's a reverse haiku
DeleteAnd I didn't even / talk about the jazz breakdown / or awkward white girls
DeleteThis is genius. How you managed to keep a post like this longer than Berlusconi's cabinet is totally beyond me. Big props.
ReplyDeleteWhat is amazing / me even more is how I'm / doing these replies
Deleteangrily complains about how my opinion is superior to yours because you don't seem to like infinite or mblaq a lot
ReplyDeletewhat were your thoughts on rainbow's A?
Deletescroll up to the blog / look at the bottom image / read the big bold text
Deleteu dont like Bora's swagaegyo?!! (cries!!).
ReplyDeleteBora's destiny / is a JAV debut / not fucking hip hop
DeleteI fuckin LOL'd when I read
ReplyDelete"This is really good / where did this songwriter go / hire him back, you whores"
XD The Whores part killed me.
Always room for whores / in any Haiku poems / or anywhere else
DeleteGirl's Day should go with the Oh my god producer, That song is addicting.
ReplyDelete