Monday, March 17, 2014

Toheart (Woohyun & Key) - Delicious

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SM teamed up Woohyun and Key to make an inter-group subunit...all for the sake of brainwashing teenage fangirls into swallowing for their oppas. If love is delicious and nutritious, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that love was substituted for 'jizz' in the song. I think this is a great marketing campaign from SM, as it explains the virtues of girls swallowing oppar's cum not because of the taste, but because of the health benefits.



Despite how thin Koreans seem in contrast to us fat fucking Americans, obesity is a growing problem Korea. From OECD's own website, obesity among adults is less than the typical Western country, but the obesity rate for children is pretty alarming. Given South Korea's barely existent birth rate, South Korea will eventually become a nation of fat fucks like Western countries are today.

SM sought out to fix this problem themselves, using their best assets: young men who have millions of crazy teenage fangirls willing to listen to their every word. SM knows full well that SNSD can't promote for 50 years (since SNSD's contracts expire in 2047), SM needs the next generation of females to not be a bunch of fat girls. No one will be stanning 뚱뚱한 시대, so the problem needs to be tackled before it's too late.

In order to get females away from eating junk food, which could cause them to become fat if they don't control their eating behaviors, SM wants teenage girls to swallow their boyfriends' sperm by saying it's nutritious and delicious. It doesn't have to be factual, but this method deters girls from gorging themselves with Twinkies.

Fucking genius, SM. Fucking genius.

14 comments:

  1. If 6:05 is anything to go by it aint the teenage girls that are swallowing jizz

    /Key going down on Woohyun pls

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  2. Songs good and catchy.
    Interesting symbolism though. I never would have thought of it lol.

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  3. Lol at Woohyun and Key sleeping over together

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  4. Well, at least SM is doing their contributions to prevent obesity and other health related diseases. America needs to use this MV as their anti obesity campaign, unless a new song called: "You fat fucks" is released

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  5. Encouraging homosexual idols ain't gonna help with their birth rates though......

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  6. at only 6 calories per serving, it's the logical choice, ladies

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  7. I can't even listen to this song without wanting to strangle myself.

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  8. everyone keeps going on about how wookey unit is the harbinger of sm monopolizing the market and woollim is going down and nell is going to get a makeover soon or whatever but i just saw it as ultimate bromancing between two friends who wouldn't usually get the chance to work together; sm is pretty allowing like that, they let their artists collaborate with their friends even if the whole thing flops miserably (m&d anyone?)

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    Replies
    1. M&D was a glorious ode to everything that Heechul is: a shameless, party-loving socialite with friends and bitches on every corner.

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    2. what is the world to do with heechul when he's smart enough to be disillusioned with the idea of an idol's celebrity but not talented enough to do anything else

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    3. The two even said in an interview that they did the subunit together because they thought it'd be fun. I don't understand how people can miss that when they admitted it out loud.

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  9. I was happy at first when I found out Key was in a subunit. I managed to get through the whole song without puking, but it made me wish I was deaf. Everything about the song and video is awful. Key is one of my favorite Kpop idols, but I can only take small doses of him at a time. He only sounds good when he sings, and in this song he kept talking about something being nutritious and delicious in his well pronounced yet awkward and forced English. Sometimes, he makes me embarrassed to like him. The poor fool thinks Jeremy Scott is a genius.

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  10. Doongdoong han shi dae lmao gr8 will hav 2 use in next piggy dolls soundtrack

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