Sunday, March 30, 2014

Welcoming The New AKF Authors!

If you guys have noticed by now, we have added three new authors from the latest application period. You can read Krakenoid's first article here, following along with the excruciating suffering Krakenoid suffered while reviewing the music video. The Duchess' first article is here, teasing us with an awesome concept for a fanfic before reviewing a fanfic that a fangirl actually wrote. Please, someone get on that Eunjung, Yuri, and Ailee fanfic! WTFisastarship started off with consoling everyone here, gracing us with gifs of Sexica's body for everyone lamenting the loss of Yuri's glorious thighs.

For the three new authors, you can give a self-introduction in the comments below and can answer some questions from the readers.

46 comments:

  1. How fuckable are the new authors? I'd like rating of 1-10. I'd also like a self-evaluation from each of the newbies.

    Thank you and good luck.

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    1. Hi there! I'm 16 so I'm probably a -5 on that scale lol.

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    2. I'd do me. But then again, I'm a narcissistic bisexual (or so I've been told).

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    3. How frequently do people tell you you're a bisexual?

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    4. Newbies already seem like the kind of heathens we love around here.

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    5. Er, I'm not legal yet so I'm with Krakenoid on this...

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    6. I bet you are legal where I live !
      Come sit on uncle No's lap.

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    7. @Albino Jesus: Almost immediately after they find out I have a boyfriend. I talk about girls in large lustful amounts so people just peg me as taco lover until the realize I'm been enjoying spring rolls too.

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  2. Hello new AKF authors! I am socially awkward cha_cha :)
    I'm curious to know you guises ultimate biases (if you have any.) Would you guys mind sharing those?

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    1. Herro thar, I'm lazy Krakenoid (I realized my name is the same as a toy from a lame kiddy game wtf?), and the group I'm closest to bias is TVXQ. I just can't Stan anyone, you know?

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    2. It used to be Yuri but her hair was dipped dyed the colour of lasagna and her thighs disintegrated. I'm currently holding auditions.
      Group wise? f(x). Only group I consistently spend money on and me spending money is the only standard I have.

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    3. @Krakenoid: TVXQ is quality <3

      @The Duchess: Yuri's my bias in SNSD too. She makes me laugh which is a good trait. I'm praying to Mark, the god of Markianisty, to bring her thighs back just for me and you! Also F(x) is my favorite girl group!!! SHINee and F(x) are my two favorite groups overall <3

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    4. kpop has made me so aware of all the different places you can have surgery. i wonder how damaged you have to be to look at like your calves or the top of your thighs and be like "fuck this area of my body in particular"

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    5. @blue: Same dude. I didn't even know there was such a thing as "getting your legs done." Or "shaving the jaw down." After hearing some of those plastic surgery procedures I'd rather remain ugly tbh. It's not worth someone slicing and dicing up my face and body with no guarantee that I'll be happy with the way I look in the end.

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    6. This is a bit of a late response, but my ultimate bias is probably Jessica. And don't worry, I'm on the socially awkward boat with you as well.

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    7. @cha_cha; Mark as in Marky Mark as in Mark Wahlberg ?
      Well, I for one pray to Joe Pesci.

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    8. @WTFistarship: Thank god! I was beginning to think I was the only socially awkward one :D Jessica and I share the same sleeping habits btws.

      @No: Mark as in Mark Tuan of Got7 (don't judge me. Judging goes against the religion of Markianisty.) Because, I really like Mark. I could honestly change my username to mark_fag and it would suit me as much as cha_cha XD.

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    9. I don't even know who or what Got7 is.

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    10. They are a rookie group. I like them a lot so far.

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  3. Also, what is your No. 1 favorite kpop song?

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    1. My favorite song and close to bias change every week ;3 Right now it's probably Alone by Sistar, you know, the song that Brave Brothers clones every other week.

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    2. NU ABO by f(x). The beat reminds me of Eminem and Nate Dogg's "Shake That".

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    3. "I get more ass than a toilet seat." My favorite part of that song XD.

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    4. That's a hard question, but as of lately I've been listening to IU's Modern Times album, and my favorite song from that is Everybody Has Secrets.

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  4. Hi there... I guess I should've typed this intro before I answered like three questions but I'm Krakenoid, erm, I'll tell you my real name some other time, I'm a technical 16 years of age. I don't bias anyone because I see no point but I guess my favorite group is TVXQ (two man TVXQ, not whatever the fuck they were before). I live in a tres unchic state called Nebraska, which is unfortunately where my EXO Stan cousin also lives so I see her a lot. Other than that I enjoy making fun of people, frying brain cells looking for stuff that I claim I'm going to write about and then writing 1/2 a post before procrastinating. Find me on Twitter or ask me dumb shit on ask.fm @Krakenoid. Okay, bye.

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  5. Hello there! Nice to see that there are more writers joining this blog. May I ask, are all the new writers females? Oh, and are all of you guys teenagers?

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    1. Female? Yes. Teenager? No. I turn 21 this year.

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    2. Hello! I'm female and I'm 17. :)

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    3. Oh wow. Haha, I'm turning 17 this year. It's nice to see people of my age here.

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    4. Nice to see more female writers.

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  6. hi new writers! (krakenoid you're so young! :o i know that's an awkward thing to say to someone bc it's been said to me before and i'm just like ....yeah but it's weird for me haha)

    just wondering new writers, do any of you actually write writing/journalism or are you really into music or do you just like reading akf?

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    1. *like writing not write writing wtf

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    2. 16 is a great age and I'm just here to help fan girls on their path to enlightenment

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    3. I... actually avoid writing like the plague because my brain likes to do this thing where it substitutes what I'm thinking for a similar sounding word and sometimes skips words entirely when I write.

      I'm mainly here to fill my yearly "try something new" quota. Last year I was part of a Manga scanlation team!

      However I do take all new endeavors seriously and I will do my best to provide entertainment to the readers of akf. =]

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    4. When I'm in the mood or if something's on my mind, I tend to write a lot (ex. when something really stupid happens). And as the Duchess said, I'm here as well to try something new as well, and also to try and improve on my writing.

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  7. Welcome new authors~
    I don't know why I'm so pleased by the youth of the new authors.
    It might be because I started following AKF in 2011 when I was 13 and it was super vulgar and I felt weird for being on a "grown up site" lol. But now I guess I'm reassured to not be the only one who read "SNSD" curse out Super 7 when I didn't curse ever lol

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  8. Lol one day we will have an author that caters for the gay male/str8 female, one day.

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  9. I felt compelled to write this and though this is a bit of a late introduction, hello. My name is Victoria and I'm 17, female, and live in New York. I'm not straight. Hell, I'm possibly the farthest you can get from straight. I'm gayer than gay itself, so I won't be able to fulfill RealJW's dream of having hot oppars on this blog. So I guess we have a new straight author, a new bi author, as well as a new lesbian author now. Sharing the love, everybody. Anyways, I have a twitter @victoria_weiwei and an ask.fm @WTFisastarship. I'm glad to be able to write articles on this site, and I'm looking forward to being able to talk to you guys. :)

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    1. Who would have thought that a f(X) member would be AKF writer.

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  10. You're all spoiled, I never got this kinda welcome from AKF oppa when I first started.

    Anyway, welcome to the team. I look forward to seeing more work from you all!! My question is, "What is/are your 'bias' group(s)?" Chuck has a huge aversion to ELFs. LOL

    Also, how is it that our female hires still cater to the lowbrow boobie-loving demographic here, we have failed AGAIN. Sorry to our penis-bulge seeking, boxer thieving, mpreg-fanfic-writing straight fangirls + gay fanboys out there.

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    1. You'd have to scour the deep depths of those delulu EXO fanboys/fangirls to find someone willing to fill that spot. As for my bias group(s)? This is so typical and boring, but SNSD, then 9Muses (7Muses now...) follows shortly after. Poor zaku oppar, here's a picture of a unicorn to help cheer you up.
      http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/1/17172/1419618-unicorn2.jpg

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  11. Does this balance the m/f authors?

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  12. You guys should put your info in the author's page :)

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