Monday, March 3, 2014

It's time for another intervention

(This was originally titled "Why Jeremy Scott is detrimental to youths 'round the world and needs to be stopped," but that was a mouthful.)

About a year ago, I lobbied kpop fans everywhere to stage an intervention for F.T. Island's Lee Hong Ki when he was hitting the nail art pretty hard. Now, it's time to step in and stop another group of idols stuck in a pattern of abuse. Watching one of 2ne1's latest videos, "Happy," made me come to a realization: 2ne1 is too often under the influence — under the influence of Jeremy Scott.




I know what you're thinking: "Uh, Fany, he's just some ridank designer who makes crazy clothing. That's not hurting anyone." Is that all he's doing, because I beg to differ.

You see, his constant presence around 2ne1 is like a drug, a fug drug, if you will. As long as his influence on them persists, the group will never break free from his fashion dungeon. The effects of JS are that severe. Observe:

Our tale begins with an ordinary young woman finding her way in the big city.


Meet Dara. Her likes include her cat, the Philippines, and her brother, Thunder.


She soon finds a great group of friends, and when they're together, it's like fuckin' "Sex and the City" ... without the sex.


Notice how normal everyone looks here (Note: This is an exercise in relativity.).


Being young and poor, the group doesn't have a lot of money to spend on entertainment, though, so they often just hang out on the street corner. 


Like hookers bums


Unfortunately, like so many lost souls before them, the girls are taken in by the street life and fall in with the wrong crowd. That's when they're introduced to JS, and its influence radically changes their lives.


That's the one.


Under the influence of JS, the girls begin partying hard and not giving a fuck (because obviously anyone wearing those clothes has long stopped giving two shits about anything, such as their appearance or good taste). Jeremy Scotting changes people, you see. The girls start blowing off their friends and shirking their duties, and it's not too long before recklessness kicks in.


Dara, whacked out on JS and behind the wheel


And eventually, things spiral out of control, and the girls start to pay for their crimes (against fashion).


This shot was taken just moments before Bom got busted for using in public. 


That's where our story ends, unfortunately, with four women's images ruined by JS. So kpop fans, I implore you all to work together to help 2ne1 say goodbye to the fug drug. 




Because they're better than this:




Need more proof? Check out the group's video for "Happy."


27 comments:

  1. At the end when they sing "happy ending" I wasn't sure if they meant massage parlour handjob style or if I was just supposed to be happy that the song was over.

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    1. Also is that really Dara's fringe or is that drawn on with pen

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    2. No joke, I also thought it was drawn on. Upon further review, I think it's for realsies, though.

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    3. Lol when I heard "Happy Ending", I imagined myself happy to be receiving a "Big Ending" from Big E (Wrestling fans yoohoo) so I can stop looking at this horror that JS has conjured

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  2. I didn't even notice that he was in the video.

    But the song's boring anyway.

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  3. that purple monster is Minzy right? Poor her

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  4. I think the main problem here is that 2NE1's stylists don't know how to fucking edit. Rihanna often wears a lot of JS, however, she wears one statement piece and makes the rest of the outfit fairly simple. Anyone who would wear head-to-toe JS doesn't love themselves and is probably somewhat deranged (aka 2NE1).

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  5. God that song is so fucking bad.

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  7. Hi, I'm Troy McLure. You might remember me from such educational videos as "Mommy, What's Wrong With Bom's Face?"

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  8. I like JS's clothing design but i don't think buying his clothing is even worth it.

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  9. Well Carl Lagerfeld said he could his successor...
    That's amazing
    And I would buy his shit if it cost 5€ per shirt and 12€ per jeans
    But their shoes designs are Amazing
    And he was sued once for.copying some prints from a surfboards designer or smth

    Ah! And song sucks so hard

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  10. Dara is pretty fine when they aren't doing fucking up her hair with those crazy stylings. She looks really good with that natural dark hair. The song itself was "okay", but nothing spectacular. Pretty forgettable. To be honest, I haven't liked anything that they've put out after 2011. But Blackjacks have a tendency to drool over every release. I couldn't understand why so many of them were raving over "Missing You", which was their biggest yawnfest song, imo.

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  11. Dara looked amazing during the "normal' parts. I kept pausing it on her, because it was so refreshing to see her as a real person instead of some canvas for YG stylists to experiment on.

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  12. Bom reminds me of that bear in the Muppets.

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    1. Meh, hater's can hate but I would bang her like a screen door in a windstorm. Then take her out for ice cream and cheek implants.

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  13. Dara looks like a damn chola with that hair

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  14. Honestly, you don't need to watch the video to know it is a disaster. just by looking at that picture of the four of them smiling and shit and with title of the song, you know where this shit is going. I refuse to watch the MV.

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  15. you guys are seriously fuck up T.T haven't your parents teach you well enough? if you have nothing nice to say don't say it! you guys must have a lot of spare time going on the net saying bad stuff about other people! you guys need to all get a life better yet get a job and get out from the net! waste your time on important stuff geez! obviously you must all be uglier than 2ne1 because this all sound like jealousy to me T.T

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  16. "Dara, whacked out on JS and behind the wheel"
    "This shot was taken just moments before Bom got busted for using in public."

    Those are really funny
    both pictures and captions!! I want to share it but I might get shunned cause people here are 2ne1 stans for their revolutionary music and beauty.
    Before coming to this site,
    I thought people really think (or atleast allkpop) that uhh Bom is beautiful (with the state that she is in now, I mean) and is all natural when she can barely move her face (if at all) and fans blaming her illness.
    Sometimes you need this site to get that needed reality check. Thanks, AKF :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, N.N.E. Spending less time on allkpop does wonders for your sanity and faith in humanity.

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    2. I should be the one thanking you guys.. this site is really funny!
      I have been reading all the articles posted here (in a non-saesang-ish manner, of course) starting from 2014-2011 (Currently Nov 2011 articles, 7 more months to go) and i'm looking forward to all of your future articles.

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