Friday, June 15, 2012

F(x) album review




I’m sulli_fag. I’m locked in my basement writing this to you right now (June 15, 2012). Alert! I am being held hostage by SM marketers, and they want me to promote and review F(x)’s new album. If I choose not to review this album, three Samoan SM staff members will pull their triggers and my head will be eradicated. 
 Pictured here:

scared

This is NOT a joke! They have guns pointed to my head and my arms are strapped down. If I even say ONE negative thing about f(x) or a member they will cut my arms off—goodbye fapping to Bora, IU, Minzy’s ass, Yura, Hwayoung and her twin, horsey hyomin, horsey sica, tia fancams, Lime, Lime’s buttcrack, U Go Gurl era Lee Hyori, Eunjung, fat whore’s like Suzy and Sooyoung, Krystal’s face, krystal’s legs, krystal’s hair and ass, GP Basic…and Sulli…I named myself after her in hopes that I one day will feel what it’s like to have my nose deep down inside her milky white buttcrack. I’ve always wanted to smell it---God I bet it smells like a luscious slice of cabbage that’s been traveling through a Candy Factor. OH SULLI! I’m so sorry it has come to this! Forgive me.

Album Review:  I really enjoyed this album everything is great every song is great…all the members sang wonderfully. Please buy the album and DO NOT repeat DO NOT download that shit from any websites because that’s illegal! Amber is the best rapper I have ever heard….and she is not a DYKE, er lesbian. E….

Ok, they left to take a shit and make some fro yo…Here’s my real review of each song.

Eel-lectric shock- Well, honestly there isn’t anything bad to say about this song. Every sound and every vocal is where it needs to be. Love the electronic sound, lots of cool base sound, clapping, drum beats, and my fave was that laser beam type sound that comes in at the chorus. I did notice when Amber’s parts came up her voice was not as strong and she struggled a bit to even hit the notes. I’m also happy that there is very little OBVIOUS autotune being used in this song and that there is a lot of parts within the song that harmonize—I think it’s pretty impressive (let’s see if they can do that live). Overall this is a song I can and HAVE blasted in my car driving down the boulevard….even when I roll up near some cholos—they don’t seem to mind or flash me gang signs….nor throw chiles rellenos or guacamole at me.
Grade: A
RHAHAAH...FAIL

Jet­- This song has pretty much the same idea as Electric Shock. DANCE! And although I think it’s a pretty fun song and I can dance to it. I think there is some parts (Mostly all the spoken word shit) that bothers me. I hate when it sounds like someone is talking sometimes…not sure why. But overall, it’s not a bad song…has song good beats. One part I like is when Sulli sings and you can hear her HORNY sound from Pinocchio—that shit turns me on. She needs to make a whole song filled with horny noises….kind of like this….Grade: B
NSFW

 BEFORE I MOVE ON TO THE NEXT SONG---ENJOY AMBER'S ASS! NOM NOM NOM


 That's a pretty nice ass. Bet her butthole looks white and not all brown and shit...she probably bleaches it.

So where was I?!?!?

Oh. 
Zig Zag-This is my second favorite song on the album (1st is electric shock). I just really like the electro beats and victorias voice/sulli sounds really good. Actually all of them sound damn good. The chorus hooks me in and I love Manber's vocal inserts....sounds far less annoying in this song than in Jet. This is the kind of song, you can lay your girlfriend down to and make babies too. Oh and I thought they should have done this song + eel-lectric cock for their live comeback. U failed me f(x). Grade: A
please fuck me like this sulli...gawd damn
 Beautiful Stranger--
PEDO STRANGER: GIMME DAT ASS KRYSTAL!!!



Like seriously, what do you want me to say about this shitty fucking song. OH shit. The samoans are back!  ummmm 
 They brought a friend--pictured here:
YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD SULLI_FAG

She looks fucking PISSED. I better get serious here! ....Beautiful Stranger is the kind of song (at first listen) I didn't like it. But the more and more I listen to it, the more I like it. For some reason it really sounds like Lee Hyori's music, which is  not a bad thing. I really enjoyed how the three girls worked together in this song and it really shows who are the strong members of the group. A great song and I put it up their with Electric Shock some say it's the best song on the album. What do you think? Maybe the more I hear it...it's possible that this could become may fav song on the album too. Grade: A
BITCH LOOK
 LOVE HATE-Right now the Somoans are putting their guns to my left thigh. Yeah, they think it's where my dick is but the fact is my dick is about 1.5 inches long. They have no chance of actually shooting my cawk off like they think. I'm gonna take a risk right now. Hopefully those dumb asses can't read. If I get shot, it'll be on my thigh...I'll just fake like it's my dick. "RAhHH MY DICKK>>>RAHHHHH>>>>>NEVER MAKE BaBIeS RAHHHH" 
Just smile and say you like the song
So yeah, this song suck shit. Like this song really suck (I KEEP SMILING AND WRITING SO THEY THINK I AM WRITING A POSITIVE REVIEW).  OK, it's not really that awful but it's far from a great song. See I wrote about it and now I completely forgot how it sounds. FORGETABLE! Still better than PAPARAZZI....heheh you mad SONEHOMOS Grade: C

Let's Try:  
 This song is better than Love Hate (worst song on the album). Actually listening to it right now, Let's Try is a pretty darn good. I like all the weird vocal shit they are doing with it. It's fun and very Jamaican sounding. Guess this song will be a good starting point for when Krystal has her first black man. She can show him this song, and he can take out his big purple wife beater and ram it in her hard. EEHHHH EHHH KIMOCHIIIIIIIII KIMOCHIII MOTTO MOTTO!!! Grade:B
THIS MAN WILL LIKELY FUCK KRYSTAL AFTER HEARING THIS SONG. PREPARE TO HAVE UNCLE RAPE YOUR WHITE HOLE.

 Oh shit! The Samoans have caught on to what I'm doing. OH FUCK! CALL THE COPS!

U DEAD SULLI_FAG...EAT MY DICK!
MY HEADDDDDDDDDDDDD RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH






   Sulli_fag
RIP December 3, 1947-June 15, 2012 Beloved Son and Uncle 

UPDATE
LUNA FAIL
2:40-2:52 ENJOY

 

40 comments:

  1. Sorry Sulli about your loss but what the fuck!!!11

    Motherfuckin sones killed a twin! I read it on KPopsecrets so it must be true!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like fuck we did - so many holes in that story! The twin ran an SNSD-biased tumblr, yet was stalked and murdered by a gang of Sones? Then the author takes a very pointed dig at Sones (calling us "demons"), then goes "Oh, it wasn't all Sones!"

      Also - really nice timing that it comes out so soon after the whole "Sooyoung is a cursing ~machine~!" incident.

      Also - sulli_f@g. I get you're trolling... but this... no. I didn't laugh once, I wanted to throw up. I'm sorry. (I've read some of your other posts where you seem like a perfectly nice person, but this was a bit over the top for me.)

      Delete
    2. So sones are the sames as daesung and elfs now? Killerz

      Delete
    3. I doubt the story was true, but then again my dorm neighbor at university was a sone and the koreaboo redneck bish shot me with an airsoft gun or some shit because I wanted to suck Changmin's cock- I mean-for being a Cassie. Apprantely elfs caused a girl to commit suicide and for posing with that Daesung of Super Junior. But the twin story and the Sooyoung story are probably false.

      Delete
  2. Pinoys or Samoans?

    Actual candy or cabbage passed through a candy factory?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the Samoans...we killed dat fool.

      Delete
  3. Pinoys were actually hired instead because real Samoans were more expensive. So, ANYWAY, Sulli, I can't believe Beautiful Stranger is the kind of song you didn't like at first. I mean we're all entitled to our own sucky opinions, but this is just downright preposterous, atrocious, appalling :O Yet you think the rest of the fuckfest that is this meth-spiked album is without hesitation Grade A. Babe, you makin me flip.

    Beautiful Stranger is fucking LSS and damn good.

    Conclusion: f(x) can survive with Luna and Krystal alone.

    (I honest to goodness downloaded the very first f(x) song since their lesbian existence in 2009 and that's Beautiful Stranger--AND ILLEGAL! BETTER RUN FROM THE SAMOANS!)

    I had a semi boner when I saw that little brown beauty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Babe, I love you and all, but this real, this is me. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now.

      Delete
  4. Sulli_Fag, are you well aware that Krystal has some hairy arms?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's dead. therefore gives two fucks about arms or hairy asses.

      Delete
    2. Tha niqqa really dead? She was tha best writer on this blog!!! Btw Changmin fuck ur noona!

      Delete
  5. Electric shock sounds like BB's Fantastic baby meets Hello Kitty or sth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really liked Fantastic Baby...that may be why I liked it. It's a cool song. Also has a bit of 2ne1 feel to it. Good song IMO

      Delete
    2. yeah the same happened to me
      i didn't like them at first but then they got stucked in my head -_-

      Delete
    3. Annoying rite? Everytime u heard wow.. U have this urge to say fantastic baby...
      The power of illuminati!

      Delete
  6. Aw shit, better cork up my asshole then...

    ReplyDelete
  7. This album was good except every fucking chorus sucked. every. single. chorus. Let's Try was nice until they kept repeating the chorus 5 million times.
    Katy Perry's ET-- I mean, Beautiful stranger was meh.

    I give it 4 Krystal eye rolls out of 5

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fair enough. Let's try was good but yeah I see your point.

      Delete
  8. Electric Shock and Beautiful Stranger was good, Electric Shock much more so. But Paparazzi is still the best.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Boom boom boom.
    Ratatata

    Sounds like gg rip of bigbang and 2ne1.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Did daesung did plastic surgery?
    http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5hcjvK1p81qeixcco1_500.png

    Why does he looks not ugly?
    His jaw has been shrink!
    Finally did it woohooo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. reminds me of Exo oppars

      Delete
    2. Exo oppas had surgery too sujunk baby?

      Delete
    3. OFC! OOP! I MEAN! OH--SHIT JUST GOT REAL! Nothing worse to a headhunting Samoan SMEnt employee than a raging horde of Exo stans!

      Delete
    4. DA HECK!?
      when did that happen?

      Delete
    5. I dont..know.i saw it on tumblr when the blogger. Share a daesung picture..(i was fapping to minzy) But doeant jaw shaving takes alot of time to heal?
      U must have know rite. Since u have taeyeon piggy as a default picture avatar

      Delete
    6. yep, i mean taeyeon got plenty of time for healing before the boyz preparations started,
      but i don't know in what fucking second between the ending of the promotions of fantastic baby and before starting to get ready for monster did daesung cut his face off :o since it needs a month of it .-.

      Delete
  11. Too bad you Samoans killed Sulli_Fag. He was the only Pinoy I respected. I actually respect all people around the world ... well, unless theyre fucking pinoys. if you are a pinoy you can go and fuck yourself. or a nigga. or a fucking inuit. anyways, sulli_fag was absolutely right about ambers ass.

    ReplyDelete
  12. 0:54-0:56 is Krystal trying to tase the viewers? e-e-electric shock! like her intro voice.

    victoria is pulling off a G.NA minus the mammary glands of monstrosity. EW!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I liked Beautiful Stranger, Electric Shock, and the chorus of Jet

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought Jet sounded like shit 'till the chorus. It's actually pretty good. Beautiful Stranger is still better and whoever decides that shit is a damn fool for not choosing it.

      Delete
  14. Why would they make Luna do that live? Blurg.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Why are Krystal's hair roots green on the top pic?

    ReplyDelete