Sport and k-pop should not mix

Sport.  I'm against it generally, and I'm even more against it in k-pop.  This post is about why sport and k-pop need to remain separate, and I've made it because it's one of those things that people are always asking me about.  Usually I just say "I'm a musician - sport is against my religion" when people ask but since you blog readers are so lovely I feel like I owe you a little more detail and entertainment than that.  Also I'm not seeing anyone else blogging about this shit and it's a Kpopalypse specialty to brazenly wander into topics that other bloggers won't touch with a ten foot T-ara lightstick for fear of being cyber-stoned to death by the Internet hordes.

WARNING: this post may contain Australian cultural trufax, including gratuitous references to Drop Bears.

Dani is a perfect 10

I live in Australia, but I'm not a "patriot" (ewww gross) or a "proud Australian" (bleuuurgh), because anyone who is a "proud Australian" actually isn't culturally Australian whatsoever - they're a fake, a tryhard.  We don't even have people like that.  If you ever see a group of drunk Australians watching a sports match, and the Australians are winning, and the drunks start cheering and shouting "Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi"... those are not real Australians, they are "decoy Australians" deployed by our government to fool potential terrorist threats so they hopefully detonate the bomb in the wrong spot.  If you catch a Southern Cross tattoo on some exposed flesh that just means they're part of the "elite decoy unit".  There probably isn't even real beer in those glasses but some kind of flame-retardant liquid (or maybe it's Fosters, unquestionably not a real beer but a British beer that nobody in Australia even drinks).

(All Fosters drinkers are about as Australian as Taeyeon in this photo)