Monday, April 29, 2013

[MV Review] T-ara N4 - Countryside Life

In the teaser article, I listed T-ara N4's Countryside Life as the song I was most anticipating and the MV was semi-hard erection on the flaccidity scale. Somehow I was right, but for reasons that I didn't expect. The review is after the jump.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

[Exposé] Chunji's On-Air Boner

Some of you may have complained that there has been too much male-centric fanservice on AKF lately, and for good reason. There's been a plethora of fap material for those partial to the feminine curves, but let it not be said that AKF doesn't listen to the voice of the people.

For those of you not in the know, Teen Top's Chunji was caught on air trying to suppress an awfully awkward boner.


Sunhwa is looking fine

Seeing these Sunhwa photos reminded me of when David used to find Sunhwa really hot before he turned gay and started fapping to Wooyoung. No, this is a true story.

Are Mexicans Illegally Crossing the DMZ into South Korea?

Oh wait, that's just Naeun looking like a Mexican bitch now.

Not only is this the first lesbian couple on WGM, this is the first international couple with someone of a Hispanic ethnicity.

I think I may have solved an unanswered question that no one had asked in the first place.

Jang Geun Suk studies for the TOEIC

There's an article about Jang Geun Suk studying for the TOEIC.

My first response is why?

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Teaser Galore - T-ara N4, Hello Venus, Secret, Po Minute, Lee Hyori

While I generally don't write articles about teasers (since teasers are usually lies and get our hopes up for nothing), there are a lot of teasers showcasing some comebacks I'm interested in seeing.

There will be two scales for these teasers. The first one will be the standard 1-5 scale. This scale will rate how much I'm looking forward to listening to the song. The second scale is the flaccidity scale. The scale will be: renob, flaccid, semi-erection, rock-hard erection. Why? Well, because these are all girl group/solo artist comebacks, my penis will assess whether or not the comeback is worth looking forward to alongside my ears.

Teasers after the jump.

Cho Yong Pil - Hello

Okay, I'm assuming 99% of the Kpop fans who read this blog have never heard of Cho Yong Pil, and I'm assuming 99.99% of general Kpop fans have never heard of him. Well, he's a legend for a reason. Surprisingly, Verbal Jint brought his A game in his verse. VJ has been phoning it in for the past few years, sucking major shit in his recent releases.

On unrelated news, I'll review some idol MVs this weekend. There's only going to be a few hundred people who even read this article, so I'm hoping that at least some of the readers enjoy a non-idol song.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Moon Chae Won Being Jjangbak

Even though I'm a translator for Moon Chae Won's International Fansite, I somehow missed this video in the past few weeks. This is another article where no one will pay attention to what I write, but look forward to normal articles again within the next couple of days now that the semester is winding down.

Waveya Gentleman Dance Cover

Are you awaiting Zaku's review of Psy's Gentleman MV? He'll get it up as soon as he realizes that he sucks at League of Legends and quits due to not being Korean.

You want my short review? It's fucking shit. The MV saves it, and Waveya's dance cover is even better than Psy's MV.

I would write more, but it's 3 am, and I just spent the majority of the past seven hours working on a God damn report. Besides, is anyone even reading the text when they visit the front page of AKF? There's UEE's ass, Han Ye Seul's cleavage, and now Waveya. Yeah, it'll be a few days before the majority of the readers remember that there's also text on this site to go along with the pictures and videos.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Han Ye Seul proves that "reflection periods" are pointless

Originally I just wanted an excuse to post a new picture of Han Ye Seul just like I did with the previous UEE post, but no, retarded Korean netizens have given me something to write about. It's about the "reflection periods" that Korean netizens always clamor for. Sometimes I believe these Korean netizens should take a reflection period about how much they suck at Starcraft. Just because you suck ass at Starcraft, don't put all of your irrational hatred onto celebrities.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

UEE's ass

No one's going to read the text, so why bother writing anything?

WGM's first lesbian couple

In support of LGBT rights, WGM has revealed their first lesbian couple. SHINee's Taemin and A Pink's Na Eun were caught filming for their new stint on WGM, replacing Sunhwa and everyone's most-hated idol, Kwanghee.

Fan comments ranged from "I hate Naeun because I wanted to scissor Taemin", "I wonder who will wear the strap-on in bed" and "The other members in A Pink have names?"

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

What Do You Get When You Mix Shit With Diarrhea?

If you have ever pondered this question in your life, and 2NE1 have given you an answer.

Monday, April 15, 2013

That nasty

The latest word on the idol gossip street is that Tony An, formerly of H.O.T., and Girl's Day's Hyeri are dating. For those of you trying to figure out the age gap math, I'll save you the trouble. It's 16 years. He was born in 1978, she in 1994. In other words, he's in his mid-30s, and she's 18 (by U.S. standards, anyway).

I see Tony's giving himself his own High-Five of Teenager.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

The SeeYa on Immortal Song 2

Just a reminder that Kim Kwang Soo isn't a total idiot, but just a big fucking idiot when it comes to idol groups. Ballad groups/artists has always been his strong point.

It doesn't hurt that there's a Minkyung in this group that's hot. (The first one to sing. The SeeYa hasn't been around long enough to find any decent pictures of the members.)

Seeing as how Korea hates T-ara and doesn't give two shits about 5doors or Amphetamines, The SeeYa should be promoted more.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Hongki, come write for AKF anytime you wish

In between breaks of playing Starcraft, doing school work and contemplating suicide, Korean netizens decided to unleash their anger onto Hongki after getting Zerg Rushed.

I won't post all of the butthurt from the Korean netizens, but I'll post some of the comments that made me laugh.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Taeyeon's Cleavage Scares Me (and SONEs)

Before today, I had no idea that gazing into Taeyeon's cleavage (or lack thereof) was a horrifying experience. We all know she's got the body of a prepubescent girl, so I was kinda surprised her mosquito bites actually had some substance to them.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Jang Ok Jung First Episode Reactions

I just finished episode one of Jang Ok Jung and Netizen Buzz already has an article about what the netizens thought of the first episode.

I normally don't post news about dramas here since I have other blogs for that purpose, but this is Kim Tae Hee's first drama since netizens cried bloody murder when they found out Rain was banging Kim Tae Hee.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

[Breaking News] Dara thinks Donghae looks good

No, I'm serious.

In other news, I think Dara looks good when she's not derping. So, I think Dara looks good 0.00000026548% of the time.

'Lee Soon Shin' Popular In North Korea, Kim Jung Eun Vows To Rescue IU

No, I'm not making this up. AKF is back to normal, so we're bringing back our top tier journalism.

This honestly explains everything when it comes to Kim Jong Un trying to provoke the U.S. and South Korea. Kim Jong Un released a statement last night in regards to IU.

Ever since that faggot Eunhyuk has been 'dating' IU, I haven't been able to eat well. I can't watch IU's MVs anymore because I think of that monkey-looking faggot Eunhyuk banging IU. IT PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF. We will invade South Korea to rescue IU.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Tiffany, Taeyeon, Yoona Release Jjangbak Selca

Tiffany hasn't looked this jjangbak since she and Taengoo did that Lady Marmalade cover.

I would let Tiffany crush my head with her thighs tbh. To one up that sulli_fag, I would not only sniff Tiffany's butthole, I would lick it. Unf. Her butthole probably tastes better than Hershey's chocolate, lbr. There aren't any midgets who are going to trick me into buying Hershey's chocolate instead of the divine fecal matter from Tiffany's butthole.

(PS: AKF will be back to normal tomorrow, April 3rd. This shit was just for the people who wanted more of the Lesbian Kpop Fangirl.)

Harisu Talks About Her Cross Dressing Musical Role

You can read the full thing here.

I would never lick a pussy that used to be a dick tbh. That shit is gross.

G Dragon To Debut In Japan In August

What the fuuuuuuuck?

Does anyone even give a shit about G Dragon anymore?

Jiyeon and Hyomin Play In The Pool

See all of that water? It's from my pussy after I saw these two messing around in wet, white see-through t-shirts.

You see Jiyeon at 1:06 practically banging Hyomin doggy style? I want her to embrace me like that, using her Cyclops eye beams to penetrate my pussy and asshole.

Unf, did you see Hyomin gallop over to Eunjung at 2:09? So hawt. I want all three of them on my bed nao.

Monday, April 1, 2013

[MV Review] Choiza - Going Down

"Going Down"? You mean your career? Choiza, I don't even know who the fuck you are, but you suck ass at rapping. Your voice isn't low enough, you don't look sexy enough, and you didn't even rip off your shirt. You fucking suck tbh. lbr, you were too lame to be in H.O.T or Shinhwa, so you and that CL-looking faggot created Dynamic Duo. More like Dynamic Douches. You fuckers are lame.

Remember when GD and TOP oppars made Epik High's song actually sound good?

Female Celebs Make My Panties Wet

Hani, when you look at me like that, I just can't contain myself.